XOXO

I am so sorry....I honeltly have no advice for you but wanted to give you some and support!

Just know you are the better person and if you have to scarafice this dinner to keep peac in DH's family, then it may be worth it.

I am so sorry that you have to spend Christmas at her house! she sounds like a loon!!!

I am so sorry that you need to be dealing with this. I totally understand how you feel, and I know how being the bigger person stinks, but it really is the best thing to do. Just know everyone hates her, it is not just you. The loons always get there way, since noone wnats to see what happends when they don't.

It will amke you MIL and John happy to see you there with a smile, even though it will be fake, on your face.

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Posted by Sage10.03

I am so sorry....I honeltly have no advice for you but wanted to give you some and support!

Just know you are the better person and if you have to scarafice this dinner to keep peac in DH's family, then it may be worth it.

I am so sorry that you have to spend Christmas at her house! she sounds like a loon!!!

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thanks for the hugs....the funny thing is there is no peace in the family...everyone hates her...I was the odd one for giving her a chance...

That is because you have a big heart and you want to see the good in people, but don't let her ruin your holiday. You will get to see your nieces and nephew, and MIL, so donm't spend another minute worrying about this biotch.

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Posted by yabbobay



her son cried to my MIL b/c she doesn't make dinner and at 11 years old he has to fend for himself...

she tells me that I will be a bad mother if I want to have a baby and work or if I don't breastfeed...

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She isn't feeding her child yet has the nerve to criticize a child you don't even have yet?!!!

She sounds like a real winner. What does DH want to do?

That sux that this woman no one can stand manage to upset everyone's plans to suit her needs.

The benefits of going to her house - seeing her kids, making fun of her later with DH & MIL.

Is going to Mexico without the rest of the family an option??

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Posted by ChristineC68

Is going to Mexico without the rest of the family an option??

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yes...and MIL would come too...but John had a nanny growing up and while she has all the paper work to be a legal resident...its not sure what would happen if she went to Mexico - she is like a mother to John and he wants to see her too...


the worst part is that I called my mom (who loves xmas) and they will be alone that day If my SIL gave me more time I could have bought plane tix to come to NY...DH's family doesn't reall care too much about xmas...


now this is all out in the open...and it would be so much harder to have to see her...


DH says we can go to MILs and not to his brothers house...but now I feel like I will be cornered by BIL and I am too upset to deal with this...I'm so upset...





stacey...isn't it awful...she also gets drunk everyday (her daughter isn't in school yet) and she lets her go swimming...while shes drunk!!! (she buys jugs of wine!!!)



this is my SIL who home schooled...and why I am so passionate against it probably...



thanks for 'listening' and letting me vent...I just so wish it was 12/26

i am so sorry you have to deal with this!!! i think it is incredibly rude of your SIL to change all the plans, especially with two days to go. stuff like that drives me nuts!!!!!! part of me says that you and john should just head to mexico by yourselves, but that would probably upset your MIL. i guess you have to be the bigger person - your MIL will see that and will love and respect you even more for it.

good luck!!

can you believe there is more?

SIL invited 30 people to her house for xmas eve!!! her side of the family...when it was supposed to be ours...and she was going to have hers on xmas day...so she is having them over BOTH days!!


the good thing...is that I don't have to go now!! woo hoo...I am just so pissed at her...I am not spending xmas with my family...why would I want to spend it with hers??!!!

WOW!!!!! THis woman sounds horrible! I'm sorry you have to deal with her

First of all {hugs} so sorry you have to deal with this. Ugh. She sounds like a truly awful woman.

You said:

MIL says that we have to go to B/SILs house for dinner..We are driving 4 1/2 hours to get there...and they cannot drive 10 miles to get to my MILs house?

And you also said that you do not want to go.

But honestly, why do you HAVE to go just because your MIL says so? I know it's hard to go against the grain, and the natural reaction is to want to go along with everyone and keep the peace, but if you truly dislike this woman, and being around her is going to ruin your holiday, then don't go. I'm sure if you are honest with your MIL she will understand.

I would stick to my original plans and tell her that I'm sorry, but that I had plans and can't and don't want to change them at the last minute. I would wish her and the family the very best, and then go on with my original plans.

I'm kind of in an odd situation myself this Christmas. My DH's father is visiting from Florida and it's putting a bit of a damper on things. But I'm trying to keep my Christmas spirit up nonetheless. His father also announced that he is going to come up to NY for the holidays EVERY year from now on. Hmmm.... When did we extend that invitation to him?? We didn't!!!!! DH and I have had a brief talk about it, but will go into it more after the holidays are over.

Our families are very important in our lives, no doubt. But we also have now created new families with our DHs. I will be d*mned if I'm going to let someone else dictate to me how and with whom I'm going to spend Christmas. If someone ends up not liking me because of it, then so be it. I'd rather be disliked by a few people, than try to please everyone and be unhappy myself.

I once read somewhere that if everyone in your life likes you, then you're doing something wrong! More than likely, you're trying too hard to please them all.

My advice is to stick to your guns and your plans. If you give in now, you'll be setting the pattern for the rest of your life, and you'll be resentful.

I know you need to do what you feel is best for you, and I'm sure you'll make the right decision. Whatever you choose to do, I hope you have a wonderful holiday!!

I dont know really what to say, hugs to you

I am glad you don't have to go to her place now. Why on earth would she upset everyone's plans so she can have people in her house for two day?

So what are you going to do now?

You know what stinks about this situation ... it is that it's the holidays and instead of keeping the peace and making everyone happy ... your SIL is driving everyone nuts!!!

I think you are right by not going. Ugh!

Please do not let this 'situation' affect your holiday. Just consider this a lesson learned ... so you know better the next time!

Merry Christmas Erica!

thank you SOOO much for all the support and words of wisdom...

I am so pissed at her for so many reasons...by not coming back to NY...I am also missing out on my 30th b-day with all my friends...the animosity is getting stronger and stronger...


it turns out she is not coming to my MIL's house...b/c she is hosting her family on xmas eve and xmas day (her parents just got divorced...b/c her mother is just as crazy as her) and now its...'We can come over if we want to' WTF can you believe this!!! well I don't want to and I am not...DH wants to see his mom and nanny...so I will just stay there while his mom goes over. (his nanny hates SIL more than anyone in the family...so at least I will have her -although we don't speak the same language!)


I am glad that I don't have to look at her...but my week is just ruined!! We are not going to Mexico at all now...b/c its too much driving to do...


thanks for listening again...it makes me feel so much better just to type it out...

try to keep the spirit

Erica!!! I am sorry you're going through this on a holiday of all times!!! Try to ignore this SIL and enjoy the holiday.