I haven't thought I made the wrong choice, but like a lot of brides, I was concerned that marriage was the right thing. My parents divorced 2 years before I wed after 30+ years of marriage. Then one of my best friends, barely done with her 1st year of marriage is miserable. There are certainly times when I get fed up with constantly cleaning up or having to do extra chores just because I am married. There are times I miss the excitment of dating. However, I know that when it really comes down to it - I have never been happier or more secure going home to my husband. Sure I miss the fun Saturday nights out as a single woman but I know that I would miss cuddling with the man that I love and adore and who feels the same way about me 1000 times more.
I think as newlyweds we are all adjusting and feeling a bit inadequate because of all the propaganda we get from the media which plays the first years of marriage of nothing but romantic dinners and lots of passionate sex. Then when we compare - we come up short and think there is something wrong when there isn't.
Give yourself a little time to adjust and you may find yourself fitting better then you expected.
nferrandi
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
I think we all have moments where we have doubts. I never, and I doubt any of you do, doubt that I love DH more than anything in this world. But I do get scared sometimes and my fear usually stems from our financial situation. We're not poor, but we do stryggle sometimes. It's difficult for me because I grew up with a lot of advantages that DH didn't. So for him it's no big deal to go without things, but for me it's an adjustment because I'm giving up things I'm used to having.
JodiBabe
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
Posted by Monkeybride
Honestly no. We have our days where it's stressful but I kissed a lot of frogs and definitely married my prince.
I AGREE 100% with you!!!!!!!
marc_rai
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
Gosh, that's why I love these boards. My friends sometimes laugh at me when I talk about liweddings but I really feel as if this is a place that we can go to for support and advice.
With that said, I have no advice... but I agree with what everyone else said about compromising and sometimes having doubts.
franksbride
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
Posted by Monkeybride
Honestly no. We have our days where it's stressful but I kissed a lot of frogs and definitely married my prince.
This is exactly how I feel!
cluelessbride
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
Posted by nov04LIbride
Before the wedding, I did have doubts--my parents divorced after 35 years, and I just had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that people may not be 100% sure--that marriage is a leap of faith, and the most important decision you ever make. But that's exactly what it is--a leap of faith. I wanted someone to tell me for certain that I was making the right choice--but only you know that. The man that married us discussed marriage with us a great deal--he said marriage can either make you the happiest person alive or the most miserable. But it takes time, a great deal of time and effort, to make it work. No one's marriage is effortless, it's just we don't often talk of the bad times (online at least). Sure, I get pissed at my DH, and marriage isn't exactly what we had discussed (I am definitely doing more of the cleaning than I thought!), but in the end he is definitely the first face I want to see in the morning and the last one at night. And that's what it is all about. That, and he is my best friend. He is not the rich doctor my parents wanted, but I cannot imagine my life without him.
That was awesome..
Sara12
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
I sometimes wonder now! I have been married for about two months now and just started a new job where I am interested in someone. I question myself if I married the right person! I am really falling for this guy and I don't know what to do.
blushingbridetobe
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
Posted by Sara12
I sometimes wonder now! I have been married for about two months now and just started a new job where I am interested in someone. I question myself if I married the right person! I am really falling for this guy and I don't know what to do.
Do you think you would have an affair?
justshir
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
i think that way whenever i get grief from dear old MIL!
justshir
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
Posted by Sara12
I sometimes wonder now! I have been married for about two months now and just started a new job where I am interested in someone. I question myself if I married the right person! I am really falling for this guy and I don't know what to do.
sara,
before marriage, were you ever in a monogamous relationship? have you ever strayed away or always had a wandering eye? are you tempted? does this guy know you're married? do you mention you husband in polite conversation with this man? ask yourself all this and more and in the end if you think your husband is the only person for you for life then the next step is to stay away from this co-worker.. break all romantic feelings for him because your marriage may be at stake.
pschica
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
Posted by marc_rai
Gosh, that's why I love these boards. My friends sometimes laugh at me when I talk about liweddings but I really feel as if this is a place that we can go to for support and advice.
With that said, I have no advice... but I agree with what everyone else said about compromising and sometimes having doubts.
i completely agree!
wood2be
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Member since
Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
My sister warned me that one day I was going to wonder 'what the hell did I do'. I thought she was nuts, she's been married 20 years!
Sure enough, one month in to the marriage I laid in bed crying thinking 'what the hell did I do'. Of course the feeling passed just like she said it would.
There have been quite a few times in the last few months that I have wondered if I made the right choice. Then I come home from work and see his face and know that I am 'home'.
sunshyne21723
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
Do any of you wonder if your DH feels this way? I posted something recently where one of my MARRIED guy friends told me he wasn't all that happy and would have been happier if he had picked me instead (and he was the 2nd of my married guy friends to tell me this). I know he was just looking for something on the side but how many of them are? And honestly, he's the type of guy to stick with it to the end even if he is miserable. But how many of us are doing that, staying with someone when deep down we still have feelings for an ex or don't think the feeling for our DH are that strong anymore or honestly aren't happy because maybe we just settled?
As a side note, I recently attended a holiday party thrown by a co-worker of mine. His wife was there as well along with a few co-workers of hers. Everyone could tell there was something going on with her (the wife) and her 1 co-worker. They even mentioned her work holiday party and asked why he (the husband) wasn't there. He said he knew nothing about it. It was sad. They just got married in Sept. of '04. I guess it occurs more often than we know about.
J.Lo24
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
The whole thing is so scary to me, which is maybe why I was so freaked out about marriage in the first place. I will always remember to never take my husband for granted and communicate any of my concerns with him immediately. I am so happy I that I have no doubts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
spazybride04
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
Great post... I think that it's nice to know that none of us are alone and that it'll just take one of us to open the flood gates.. and everyone follows once they see that it's ok! One of the greatest things I love about this site!
With that said... everytime I think about if I did the right thing or not, I look at my grandparents... married 55 years this year. She still loves my grandfather even though he misses the toilet almost ALL the time.. LOL She always told me that marraige is work and you have to work at it... and I couldn't think of any other man that's worth all the 'work' for the next 55 years then my DH. You're going to have the bad times... but it's all the good times that count!... Hang in there.. you can tell by all these responses that you are definitely not alone!
Thanks for opening the floodgates!
~deb
MissMelissa
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
wood2be
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
Posted by pauls bride
Believe me, i'm glad the floodgates have opened. i don't feel so alone anymore. I know that we all seem to have a little bit of that doubt, i guess it's just whether or not you decide to let it take over. Thanks for everyone's advice and it's just good to know that i'm not alone in this. :)
Ditto!!!
Blu-ize
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
First year was tough on me, but I got through it. Tolerance, compromise, love, passion, honesty and communication I feel is the recipe. You have to stir the pot all the time, it takes work. Hang in there.
ambersmom
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Re: anyone ever think they made the wrong choice
Please, I'm still having doubts after five years of marriage, a house and a baby (well, not all the time but he does totally push my buttons). It's all about compromise and gaining a balance of mutual respect and trust. Last night I totally freaked on him because I felt like he was not taking my feelings or needs into consideration and I'm totally stressed at work. But I also know his shortcomings so I have to take them into account sometimes. He's not the most astute person in the world and can be a little selfish to boot.
