XOXO

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Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

I hear ya, flowers definitely would have been nice and not much of an expense! Men can be so dense though--my DH just made dinner for Valentine's and thought that was present enough. I literally searched the house for my roses and chocolates. Some people posted of getting gifts every month on the month anniversary mark! I guess we just aren't as sentimental, because the 6th usually comes and goes without me noticing!

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Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

Ooh, I'm in on this group...DH just doesn't give extravagant gifts (Helena, maybe it's a cultural thing???)

But he also doesn't expect much in return..

Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

I completely understand being bothered, because it was important to you to do something special for your anniversary but DH wasn't into it. Since you specifically mentioned it and DH brushed it off, you have every right to complain.

But pleeeeease don't compare yourself to couples on here, or anywhere else for that matter. Some couples go nuts over anniversaries and birthdays and every other occasion, but it doesn't mean that they are any more in love than you and your DH.

ETA:
Besides, guys don't really 'get' the idea of giving cards...and manyof the ones that do only do so because they know it makes their wives happy, not because they really feel the sentiment behind it...

Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

I wish my DH would do the same - make a bigger deal out of special days - but he just doesn't get it. It seems that the only time that he really makes an effort is if I've been hounding him for weeks before the actual day happens. So unless I remind him, he just doesn't think about it
He FINALLY got me flowers last week to make up for not getting me flowers on Valentine's Day, so that was nice, but we'll just see what happens on our anniversary. If he uses the phrase 'but I just didn't think it was that important' (his words on Valentine's Day) I'm going to give him such a smack

Fact of the matter is, men care, but most of them don't feel like they have to prove their love with cards or flowers or gifts or romantic gestures. Like these things take SO much effort

Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

Oddly enough that’s why our wedding is in Oct. I planned it that way to give us time for ourselves.

My birthday is August
Nothing in September
Anniversary in October
Nothing in November
Christmas in December
Nothing in January
Valentine’s in February
His birthday in March

I have no advice for your anniversary. We got married on our 1st. *shrug* We are looking to maybe just get away. NOTHING fancy like you had in mind. Just go somewhere close and stay in a hotel and drink wine.

Jim is a flower kinda of guy. So no issues there. He’s also low on neediness so I can get him a card and he’s happy as long as it’s well thought out. Heck he’s happier if he gets a video game and a spiderman action figure! Me, I just want him and a nice dinner at HOME! We plan to go back to Disney (our honeymoon) for our 5 year anniversary. We want to go to some island paradise for our 10 year anniversary and see what’s what then.

We both agree not every anniversary should be a huge affair. But I can see the first one being special. Sorry you didn’t have the one you envisioned.

Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

I think my DH is lost when it comes to these sentimental/romantic times. I don't think he has any idea that sometimes it's nice to do these things. I haven't gotten flowers since out 1 month anniversary and we haven't even gone out to dinner for special occassions anymore. Yet he'll complain, 'where's my big surprise birthday party?' I'm not getting my hopes up when our 1 year rolls around. If I get a card, I'll be lucky.

Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

I totally understand. Whenever it's a special occasion, I have to prompt brad to think about making plans and essentially tell him the place and time to make dinner reservations. He always says I never give him a chance to do it, but the times I do let things go, he never takes the initiative! It's one of my biggest gripes.

I'm hoping to have our one year anniversary during our summer vacation, once we plan it. Guess who's going to be in charge of the planning?


Wanna hear something sweet but frustrating? Our good friends are celebrating their 1 year anniversary at the end of May. We get a letter from the husband, who is actually my ex-bf and was a GM our wedding (yes, we're weird). The letter contained a square of fabric. He sent these squares to all their close family and friends. We're all decorating the squares with meaningful things and sending them back to him. He's having them put together as a quilt for his wife as an anniversary present. I thought that was incredibly sweet, and my first thought was, 'wow, brad would never think of anything like that!'

Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

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Posted by bluegrl24ny

I do tend to compare myself a lot to what other people do -I need to not do that - but it's hard when other people imply that your DH did the 'wrong' thing my not making a big deal..... I'd be fine if it wasn't for these butt-in people!!!

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Oh, Helena, please don't feel bad!!! My brother used to actually make fun of me when Seb didn't get me something huge for Valentine's day. Until I finally told him to SHUT UP!!! It's really hard too because if you say to those people I really dont' want anything big or I have a ton of jewellry I don't wear as it is...they just don't get it and they think you're making excuses. My mom was the same way for a while, but she seems to have mellowed out. (although she would tell me a story about how one year at CHristmas money was tight, she and my dad made a pact not to buy presents for one another, but inevitably she got him something and he didnt' get her anything!) I'm really not sure what I can offer to make you feel better, just and the assurance that you're not the only one...and maybe the thought that eventually you'll settle into your own 'gift-giving routine' and develop your own way to celebrate.

The best thing though, is when, after all the nagging, they finally come up with something all on their own! The look on DH's face when he's pleased with something he's done is just priceless!

Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

The difference with DH and I are the families that we came from. I grew up with a family that went a little over the top for holidays and celebrations (my mom's nuts, but I love her) and he grew up with a family that was always very low key about holidays and celebrations. I blame his lack of enthusiasm for celebrations on that and though I get hurt sometimes by it, I have to be understanding of it. For example: For Easter, my mother gave us two big Easter baskets filled with gifts and candy. When we came in the door, we got huge hugs and lots of 'Happy Easter's from everybody. His mother gave us two little plastic baggies filled with candies that came from bags (everybody got the same exact baggie of candy). Not a single hug or a 'Happy Easter' from anybody. Now after comparing our families... I gave DH a basket of his favorite candies and a couple small gifts and I didn't get anything. I'm not mad about it, because it's easy to see why it happened. He never forgets to give gifts for anniversaries though, so I will give him that.

Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

Our dating annivesary is now our married anniversary. We typically don't do gifts for each other..but we try and go away for the weekend which we plan to do in November for our 4&1 (4 years since our first date, 1st year of marriage).

Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

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Posted by aimerliny

Our dating annivesary is now our married anniversary. We typically don't do gifts for each other..but we try and go away for the weekend which we plan to do in November for our 4&1 (4 years since our first date, 1st year of marriage).

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I love that numerical term what a great way to keep track of both special occasions! Now when people ask me how married life is, I'm going to tell them - we're 7&1, thanks!'

Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

We were in a similar situation as you. We had just bought our house. We only did cards. We didn't do a special trip or gifts. We went to Desmonds for dinner (at the Inn at East Wind) came home and that was really it. Oh we walked down the aisle again since we were at East Wind and said our vows again which I loved!!!! You are not alone at first it was a let down but now it is one of my favorite memories!

Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

how sweet that you walked down the aisle again! I did have a very nice night and it was very special, I guess I just wish that we could have done more - but with the finacial situation, that was impossible. We'll just have to make up for it on our 5 year anniversary instead!

Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

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Posted by bluegrl24ny

how sweet that you walked down the aisle again! I did have a very nice night and it was very special, I guess I just wish that we could have done more - but with the finacial situation, that was impossible. We'll just have to make up for it on our 5 year anniversary instead!

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Now that's a great attitude!!!!

Re: One Year Celebrations - question and bit of a vent....

My DH isn't great at gift giving or being thoughtful either, so don't feel too bad. Sometimes I hear people on the boards talk about what nice things their DH do for them and it can be slightly upsetting. ,But at the end of the day, I married my DH because I love him, which means I have to accept both the good and the bad.