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Marcie Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

I think it is very rude.
Especially when the people asking the question have no idea that a couple is trying for quite some time and have no idea that there could be fertility issues.

It took me 11 months to get pregnant, and it was a VERY long 11 months. Not everyone understands that there could be issues, and not that the couple is waiting to have children.
azoodie Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

Honestly it doesn't bother me, but Marcie I could see why this would be a touchy subject. I guess that's just how the world works...first it's 'when are you getting married??' then it's 'when are you having children??''

I'm sending baby dust your way marcie!!
nov04LIbride Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

I think it's rude, and none of anyone's business. One of the secretaries at my job said, 'We were all talking and decided we all think you'll be the next in the office to become pregnant!' I said, 'You were all discussing my husband and I reproducing? How odd. I'm on the pill, and unless you know something I don't, there is less than a .01 percent chance I'll be getting pregnant any time soon.' I hate to be rude like that, but I hate people discussing me behind my back like that. My MIL mentions it constantly...Like 'Ohhh when is your nephew getting a cousin!?' I don't know why anyone would want to bother people before they are ready. There is so, so much I want to do before getting PG.

julz33 Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

I voted for 'other'. It is not the question so much that bothers me, but when I reply that we am waiting a few more years, and they keep going on about it, thats when I get annoyed. Plus, my sister and SIL just had babies so now everyone has babies on their minds. I must get asked this question at least 10 times a day
Mrs. dleeny Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

I just have to laugh here for a second... I was on the phone with a friend of mine last night and she was the 1st person to ask me that question, and actually mean it is she freaking kidding me?? I've been married for 3 WEEKS!

prncssrachel Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

I voted NO, but I should have voted other for getting TOTALLY annoyed that SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many people keep asking if we're having a 'honeymoon' baby. DO THE MATH PEOPLE!
DebsNY Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

Doesn't bother me. We don't get asked too often though, since dh is still in grad school. I imagine that more people will ask when he graduates in a year and a half.

Happybride2005 Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

i get, u know you're not getting younger

catherine Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

I think it is more annoying than rude. Sometimes people just don't mind their own business. Luckly, not ONE person has asked me that question. I guess b/c they know we are still get situated in our house and I don't have tenure at my job yet!!

Boop2704 Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

I don't think its rude when family asks, they are excited and anticipating it eventually and I am fine with that. What I think is rude is when I go to the nail salon and they see I am married and start asking if I have kids, then continue on for a half hour about when I'll have them, how I shouldn't wait long, yadda yadda yadda, shut up its none of your business. And I can't stand it when my boss asks me all the time either....every time I tell her I have something to talk to her about she asks if I am pregnant.

hbradio Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

It doesnt offend me personally. It does annoy me though! I kind of think its a stupid question in a way but its just the normal thing for people to ask after you get married.

brooklynbridezilla Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

I don't find it offensive- just a little thoughtless. Like Marcie said, what if you are having trouble TTC? That question would be pretty painful.

I find that most people aren't satisfied with our answer- definitely not now, maybe not ever. They look at ME like I am the anti-Christ. Then they go on to say, 'Well, you are young, you will change your mind.' Maybe we will, but you are awfully presumptuous to be making choices for us. I feel some fights with friends coming on because of that.

ETA: The best comeback I ever heard for that question came from a girl who was being asked about kids before they got married. She said: We would like to wait to TTC at least after the reception is done.
suven Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

Yes, it's rude. How do people know that there isn't some sort of problem? It could end up being very embarassing...

But, I don't get offended anymore (because we're probably going to start trying soon)
eogara Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

Ugh, I think this is SOOOOOOO rude.

Essentially it's saying you'll be judged if you decide not to have children. Or, what if you want children and you're trying already and having a hard time? Or found out that for some reason (God forbid) you can't have children?

Someone at my bridal shower gave me one baby bootie and a poem about having kids and how they'll give me the other one and reveal themselves at my baby shower. I was appalled. I think that children, the decision to have them, is incredibly private and no one else's business unless you decide to tell them.
cjik Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

I find it very rude, I suppose it depends on how someone asks, and how close that person is to you, but in general, it's not a good question.

You also have to keep in mind that the people might be trying! My cousin has been trying to get pregnant for a couple years, with no luck. And my sister has miscarried twice now. I know it drives them crazy when people who don't know better ask this, and I get angry on their behalf.

DH and I are getting to the end of our baby years, but I have some medical issues which need to be addressed before we can try to have a baby (medication I'm taking for a chronic condition is not good for a baby).

So while I've spouted off on this topic, yes, it really annoys me when people ask this question!
oneday Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

I don't know that I'd say it offends me - but it does annoy me a lot sometimes, especially when people keep pushing. Usually when someone asks, we say that 'we're fine right now.' but then when they keep pushing, it's gets frustrating. And when people who know what my plans are keep saying, 'come on, you need to have a baby', after a while, it just REALLY gets to me!!!
oneday Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

Posted by brooklynbridezilla
Then they go on to say, 'Well, you are young, you will change your mind.' Maybe we will, but you are awfully presumptuous to be making choices for us.


Oh, I get that all the time - it makes me so mad sometimes!!!
Aga Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

we didnt have anyone ask us that yet, so far so good
ShortBride Posted:

Re: Does it offend you..

At the wedding, the rabbi made a joke about how 'we will be here next year celebrating their first child's birth'!

And at work, they said when we went out to lunch before the wedding, 'next year we will be celebrating your baby shower?'

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