XOXO

I think it is awful to ask someone this and rude. It is no ones business but the couple. I have had to endure some pretty interesting questions by patients where I work. Including one 2 weeks ago from a lady who would not let it go. I told her it was on a need to know basis and when she needs to know she will. I am usually easy going, but this just blew my mind when she kept asking me for about 45 minutes.
PS We are trying to have a baby- but I do not mind telling all of you.

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Posted by Boop2704

I don't think its rude when family asks, they are excited and anticipating it eventually and I am fine with that. What I think is rude is when I go to the nail salon and they see I am married and start asking if I have kids, then continue on for a half hour about when I'll have them, how I shouldn't wait long, yadda yadda yadda, shut up its none of your business. And I can't stand it when my boss asks me all the time either....every time I tell her I have something to talk to her about she asks if I am pregnant.

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I'm sorry, but do we go to the same nail salon?? Seriously, I got back from the honeymoon and that was the first thing they asked. After I explained that it will be a while (at least 6-7 years), I got a lecture about declining fertility and how I shouldn't wait!

In response to the original question, I personally don't think it's rude if people ask. To me, it seems like a natural question - most people seem to link getting married with having children. What I do think is rude is when they ask why you're waiting. Or, when my mother, who knows I don't want kids right away, keeps talking about me having them. I'm only 26 - give it a rest. It makes me VERY uncomfortable and she really does it just to pi$$ me off.

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Posted by brooklynbridezilla

I don't find it offensive- just a little thoughtless. Like Marcie said, what if you are having trouble TTC? That question would be pretty painful.

I find that most people aren't satisfied with our answer- definitely not now, maybe not ever. They look at ME like I am the anti-Christ. Then they go on to say, 'Well, you are young, you will change your mind.' Maybe we will, but you are awfully presumptuous to be making choices for us. I feel some fights with friends coming on because of that.

ETA: The best comeback I ever heard for that question came from a girl who was being asked about kids before they got married. She said: We would like to wait to TTC at least after the reception is done.

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Rebecca, my DH and I go through this all the time. We don't know if we're ever going to want children and when we tell people this they look at us like there's something wrong with us. Usually they then respond that we'll probably change our mind! This pisses me off to no end!

I don't know if I'd say OFFENSIVE....Rude and intrusive come to mind....I think the reactions you get when you answer are rude. - I did not ask you for a lecture, I did not ask you for advice, I did not ask for your opinion. - And DH and I do not owe you an explanation for our decision.......
What if a couple did not WANT children?
What if a couple was having problems getting pregnant?
What if, what if, what if........???

No, it doesn't offend me but for those people who KNOW that we're not going to have children and they keep nagging us about HAVING to have them I get a bit PO'd.

'Offend' no, 'Annoy' Yes! While eventually I know we'll TTC, we're not in the position to have a family just yet, nor do I have the 'mama' urge. Kids still annoy me too much to want one of my own.

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Posted by Donna&Joe708

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Posted by brooklynbridezilla

I don't find it offensive- just a little thoughtless. Like Marcie said, what if you are having trouble TTC? That question would be pretty painful.

I find that most people aren't satisfied with our answer- definitely not now, maybe not ever. They look at ME like I am the anti-Christ. Then they go on to say, 'Well, you are young, you will change your mind.' Maybe we will, but you are awfully presumptuous to be making choices for us. I feel some fights with friends coming on because of that.

ETA: The best comeback I ever heard for that question came from a girl who was being asked about kids before they got married. She said: We would like to wait to TTC at least after the reception is done.

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Rebecca, my DH and I go through this all the time. We don't know if we're ever going to want children and when we tell people this they look at us like there's something wrong with us. Usually they then respond that we'll probably change our mind! This pisses me off to no end!

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OMG, the exact same thing happens to DH and I all the time. It make me sooo mad!

In all honestly, I don't think its rude. Its a natural part of life.

First Comes Love
Than comes Marriage
and than comes baby in a baby carriage


I don't let it bother me..
I tell them Im not yet ready, and they agree Im too young.. and than we move on to another topic.

Not at all. I know they're just excited and so are we! They don't mean any harm..

We didnt have much of it though b/c I got pregnant soon after anyway.

First of all, my bedroom activities are none of your beeswax.

ed: I dont find it offensive, but I do find it annoying.

I don't get offended, but annoyed, but I love when they feel the need to tell me 'So, now it's time to start working on children' oh and my new favorite from those with kids 'JUST WAIT, YOU'LL SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE!'

Well, why is RIGHT NOW the time to start having children, and what am I JUST WAITING FOR??????? My kids will not be exactly like yours, nor am I exactly like you!!!!!! It usually comes from people I really can't stand!!!

totally depends who asks it.

My immediate family actually has BETS placed with some large sum of money on when FH and I will have our first. I think its funny - they won't tell us what their bets are. We like to Gamble...

No aqaintances/work people have really pushed the issue yet, so I can't say I have gotten pissed, but I do hate the terminology 'When will you start a FAMILY?' I'm all: 'DH and I ARE a family already!'

What I think is even more rude is when people ask 'aging' singles 'When are you going to get married?' That makes me mad for a few of my friends.

I think some people are just clueless and need something to ask and pester people about.

Nope!! I used to get excited when people asked and now I'm PG and even more excited to tell

I don't always think it's rude. My DH doesn't like it. And we do get HARRASSED about it from his entire family. He's the only cousin without any kids, and he's older than most of them by 10-15 years and they all have 2 or 3 children. We also get harrassed when we say we only want 1 child, yet no one has volunteered to pay for me to have more than 1. Not to mention the people who aren't happy that they have kids -- I've been told by a father of 2 that misery loves company, so when are we joining the club!

The way I see it, rude or not, you can't let it bother you because people are ALWAYS going to have something to say, some judgment to pass, and it's up to me not to take it personally. No one has to live my life but me, so I have to make myself happy before I please society.

I don't think it's rude I just think it's annoying to hear it from everyone. Ever since we got home from the honeymoon people ask, 'so are you guys pregnant yet' or 'when are the babies coming'...It's just becoming annoying but were dealing with it.