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Help me not kill my husband...

Hmmm... First of all, is it possible to take time off from the NYPD w/o losing his seniority?? I don't think so, just thought I'd ask. Secondly, has he been unhappy in his job? Is this a post-Sept. 11 reaction, or has he felt that it's not his lifelong dream anymore? And finally, can you try to put yourself in his shoes? How would you feel if he strongly objected to you making a career change? Wouldn't you expect him to support any decision you made? Maybe it's just a phase!! I'm sure he respects your input here and he's probably not going to do anything that would make you go bankrupt, so ride it out and see what happens! Keep us posted!! :)

Help me not kill my husband...

Pat has always really enjoyed his job, and became even more proud to be a cop after Sept 11th, however, he is more interested in making enough money to allow me not to work after we have children. I think that would be nice, but I feel that if it happens, it happens... if not, I love my job. Patrick really thinks this will be my ticket to being a stay at home mom, and that's important to him. As a cop's wife, I have agreed to lots of things that I am not thrilled with, like him working midnight shifts and leaving me home alone all night, and suppported him working dangerous details such as anti-crime and intelligence. I truly understand what you mean about supporting him, but I think this opportunity is too iffy. But I could be wrong. I'm terrified we will make a mistake that we will have to spend the rest of our lives fixing. Hopefully it IS just a phase that will soon be out of his system. Thanks for your words of wisdom and comfort. They DO help! : )

Help me not kill my husband...

My husband is a Fireman and I believe you can leave up to one year. I have heard it is also the same for cops... is this an option for you to consider?

Help me not kill my husband...

The consideration of also losing the time toward a pension is a big one. My husband works for Nassau County PD and believe me he is counting the years til he can retire. The pension and benefits(lifelong medical coverage) are a big issue. I do believe that a career change such as this is a huge decision and should be made together, since it does affect you both. Has he thought about perhaps trying to switch to either Nassau or Suffolk PD? They both make substantial salaries and the time he has accrued with NYC carries over for pension purposes. Also what about medical coverage? You would have to purchase it on your own and that is very expensive. And the fact that when you own a business you never really get a day off. No paid vacation or sick time. These are just a few things that I know I would think about if my husband decided to switch careers. Good luck to you. I hope it all works out.

Help me not kill my husband... Junebride & Wendy

Junebride ~ If he takes a partnership in the store and then backs out we run the risk of losing quite a lot of money that we need to put down up front, so if we do decide to go through with it,it's all or nothing. But things for the suggestion. Actually, he's trying to find a way to stay with the PD and still run the store. He thinks where there's a will there's a way... we'll see! Wendy ~ He's taken the Suffolk test 3 or 4 times and every single time it gets thrown out for one reason or another. Once he made sergeant, he gave up. Believe me, I know how attractive the full medical coverage and pension are! That's another big factor in me wanting him to hang in until he has 20 years on the job. My dad was a city cop, and that pension put me through college. I'm hoping for the same for our children! Thank you so much for your suggestions... this is so hard! We are constantly debating, and it's not fun. I hope we can call a recess for the day, because today is my birthday, and I would like it to be stress free!

Happy Birthday!!!!

I guess all these huge decisions in life cause a lot of grief. I was starting to think it was just me and my husband. We did a lot of stressing about the wedding planning and money... now, we spend many nights debating about our home decision. We have spent the past week going crazy - I know how hard this must be for you both... it's so scary making decisions that will impact the rest of your life! I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, however, I can't even decide if I'm making the right decision on a home. So I wouldn't take any advice from me! Good Luck and please enjoy you Birthday!!!

Hmmm....

You mention he would become a partner in both stores, not just one, and that the first store has been very successful. This should make you feel a bit more comfortable, as this could not be a complete loss - at most just half. How much do you trust his friend Joe? Do you think that the success of the first store was because of a good business decision or just dumb luck? It sounds like you are happy with your job. How much of your expenses does your job cover? Since you are in no rush to quit, that should also be a comfort to you -- steady, predictable income that doesn't need to end. I would be very careful in terms of how you talk your husband out of this -- he is likely to feel very defensive, since he believes this is a smart move. If you aren't careful there are likely to be some long term resentments in both directions -- I say forget careful planning of an argument, and sit down and talk about how you are both feeling.

Can he take on the store as a 'silent' partner? *NM*

Happy Birthday, Jenn Renee!! Enjoy!! :) *NM*

Silent Investor

How about having him consider the option of being a silent investor where he is rewarded some of the profits without having to make the major business decisions.

Happy B'day Jenn!!!

Sorry you're going through this stress on your b'day! Don't you just love the 'ideas' (or what they think are ideas and we think are total lunacy) that pop out of our guy's mouths! Is he unhappy w/his job at the moment? You should both sit down and write a list of pros and cons as to him leaving he NYPD and taking this risk/chance. You should both come to a decision together, that will please both of you and that you can both live with. Is he going through some type of pre-midlife crisis? Or just seeing the dollar signs? I hope things turn out the way you want them to!!! Have a good day! :)

Another thought....

First of all, happy birthday! Second of all, it's always good to have 3 to 6 months of living expenses in the bank upon becoming self employed. Closer to three would probably be ok for you because you have a steady income, but it's something to think about especially if you have to shell out a lot of money like you said you would. It's always good to be prepared for unexpected major expenses like car/home repairs, etc. I'm sure you know this since you're a homeowner, but it's just another point you could bring up: 'Honey, with the house we really can't deplete our emergency fund.' Good luck and keep us posted.

JennRenee..Happy Happy Birthday!!!! *NM*

JennRenee..Happy Birthday!!!!

Try to have a wonderful day!!

My Husband is self-employed and it's not easy....

When the economy is good, we make money when it's bad we don't make money. If we take vacation we loose money (he's not there to run the shop, car business) He gets no paid sick time, holiday time or anytime for that matter. I work an office job and guess what I get the same salary every week regardless! I looked into benefits (do to NYS insurance on the web) it would cost us $800 for medical coverage if I wasn't working. It's a big decision, I hope everything works out for you!

Thanks Everyone

Thank you all for he sweet birthday wishes. Aside from this debacle it's been a very nice day!

I'll keep you updated, and thanks again. : )