XOXO

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Find a quiet time and you need to let your DH know what is going on and what happened when you called Pat. Is there anyway that Pat's parents can get Pat checked out of the treatment center? Can Pat apply for medicaid or some government help to help pay for the costs? Pat has more issues then drugs and it seems like Pat is using the treatment center to get away from reality.

Good luck with everything. If this is an issue that is affecting your marriage remember that communication (although not always easy) will be the only way to overcome this.

I'm really sorry for you guys- you gave pat every opportunity- but it seems like s/he just wants attention- I think you have to back away at this point for your own sakes and hopefully someday Pat will come around and work through this

If Pat can't be bothered, then you can't be bothered. It is upsetting you too much.

Pat has been given so many chances above and beyond what would be considered reasonable.
How can Pat check itself into a rehab facility without proof of ability to pay or without a legal guardian present ? At 18 Pat should be considered an adult.
Are you absolutely sure that Pat is in a facility and not just hanging out ?

I would say it's time to give PAT some tough love...after all other options/chances/outpouring of generosity & selflessness is given & taken advantage of, it's the only thing that can really work..and get PAT to really want to help himself.

Have a discussion, not a fight, with DH - but make it more about PAT than anything else...for PATS sake u want to give him tough love, because u want him to grow up, get help, & solve his issues. This is not going to happen so long as everyone keeps catering & giving way to PAT.

I understand it's hard when it's family...i come from a family with plenty of addicts, alcholics, and regardless of addictions, people who just have serious issues. It's time to cut the cord & let PAT see for himself where his life is at, and what HE needs to do to fix it.

i'm so sorry u're going through this

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Posted by SusiBtoM

Are you absolutely sure that Pat is in a facility and not just hanging out ?

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That is a great point.