You have never seen me this angry

As some of you may remember, DH’s friend Joey has been a constant thorn in my side for months. He’s out of work, always at our house, and always in some “crisis” requiring DH. Now it is important to note that Joey is out of work because HE STOLE MONEY from his father. Hundreds of thousands of dollars from his father’s car dealership. Now no one will hire him. DUUUUH.

I have f*cking HAD IT. I just told DH yesterday that he needs to refocus and that Joey’s problems are not OUR problems. DH has gotten himself overinvolved in Joey’s life. He is arranging interviews for him, he sees him EVERY day, they talk literally 10x a day. DH wakes up in the morning & calls him before he gets out of bed. I am at my wits end. This past weekend, once again, poor Joey “needed” DH. DH went out Fri & Sat night till all hours and he slept all day yesterday. Nice. You’re a great father. A$$hole.

So BIL & MIL own a restaurant/catering business. DH tried to get Joey a job with one of their biggest customers. So the people were ready to hire Joey when they found out he’s a F*CKING THIEF. So they ask BIL “why would you recommend someone who could STEAL from us?” They are so mad, as well they should be! But my DH, who cares about Joey more than me, Ella and his family combined, took Joey’s side.

So what happened next? Naturally, my 31 year old husband and his 28 year old brother got into a FIST FIGHT. F*cking losers. I am so disgusted.

So now DH & Joey show up AT MY OFFICE trying to get to me & give their side. I yelled at DH.- I didn’t care. I said “now your mother is upset & you are not speaking to your brother because you once again picked your friends over your family. Nice work.”

Then he begs me to call his mother for him & get him allowed back in the deli (he bartends there 1 night a week. Um, no. This is YOUR mess. You fix it.

I am SO LIVID RIGHT NOW. My MIL is in tears, my BIL swears they’ll never speak again. I am about ready to throw DH out. And I’m not kidding. He can go stay at Joey’s for a while since that’s where his loyalties lie.

Your husband sounds like a clod that needs a good swift kick in the head.
Caroline, give him an ultimatum. This issue just does not sound like it is going to be resolved anytime soon. Counseling maybe, or an intervention.
Does your husband not realize that he is in deep $hit with you, not to mention with his own brother and mother ?
Perhaps he just needs that kick in the head to realize that you are not going to put up with this crap any longer, it is stressing you. After all YOU are his wife, not Joey, and your husband needs to foucs on his family and not some loser friend that can't get his own job because he stole money.

---

Posted by SusiBtoM
After all YOU are his wife, not Joey, and your husband needs to foucs on his family and not some loser friend that can't get his own job because he stole money.

---

thaaaaaaaaaaaaank you. This is what I keep telling him!!!

---

Posted by SusiBtoM

Your husband sounds like a clod that needs a good swift kick in the head.
Caroline, give him an ultimatum. This issue just does not sound like it is going to be resolved anytime soon. Counseling maybe, or an intervention.
Does your husband not realize that he is in deep $hit with you, not to mention with his own brother and mother ?
Perhaps he just needs that kick in the head to realize that you are not going to put up with this crap any longer, it is stressing you. After all YOU are his wife, not Joey, and your husband needs to foucs on his family and not some loser friend that can't get his own job because he stole money.

---

this is just baaaaaad busienss all around. I am sure people wear heels even in RI so sorry to say, but your DH needs a 4 inch sitlelto in the @ss to get him to reasses his priorities. Hope it works out.

I agree- it's ultimatum time. Sorry you're going through this.

Sometimes I feel like the fire dept. is more important to DH than anything else- including me. That's why I'm not in a huge rush to have kids yet.

Good Luck!!!

OMG, Caroline, I was hoping things had gotten better on the Joey front. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Hubby needs to do some serious thinking and realize that you & Ella are his main priorities, not Joey. I understand loyalty to your friends but when it starts interfering with the rest of your life, it's gotten out of hand. And not for nothing, but Joey is a big boy and I'm sure he realized what the consequences were going to be when he stole in the first place.

Sending you lots of hugs & patience; hope this situation gets resolved soon.

i am not sure why your husband thinks it ok to be friends with him, if he has stolen money, has he ever thought maybe joey is trying to steal money from you.

i dont think i would let this guy joey in my house. Have you explained to you dh how angry you are at him and his lack of responabilty of being a father, bc i would be extremely livid too.

i do think you made the right decision by not calling his mother back, i totally agree he messed it up and he needs to fix it. does he know you want to kick him out, maybeif you tell him , he will realize he has totally stepped over the line

you know what? i think your DH needs some time on Joeys couch so he can appreciate YOU and all YOU do for him. sleeping a few days on a stinky couch and having to smell joey's balls might make a difference.

its like joey has him brainwashed or something!

---

Posted by MJDoc12

you know what? i think your DH needs some time on Joeys couch so he can appreciate YOU and all YOU do for him. sleeping a few days on a stinky couch and having to smell joey's balls might make a difference.

its like joey has him brainwashed or something!

---

that is too funny, maybe if he had to smell joys balls he would be running back home

---

Posted by MJDoc12

you know what? i think your DH needs some time on Joeys couch so he can appreciate YOU and all YOU do for him. sleeping a few days on a stinky couch and having to smell joey's balls might make a difference.

its like joey has him brainwashed or something!

---

whoah! your dh does sound like he's brainwashed or something!!!! He has totally lost focus about the realities of life and his committments to you and Ella.



I hope you are able to resolve this asap!!!

Caroline, sometimes your husband just sounds like a d*ck.

I know we're all proned to b*tching about our DHs and we're only hearing one side of the story... but remembering some of the other instances you wrote about in the past, I just feel you deserve so much better..

There really isn't any advice I could give you b/c I understand what it feels like to be frustrated with a person and love them so much.

I want to echo what MJ said.... I think you really need to show him what life WITHOUT you might be like.

Hang in there.. I honestly hope it works out for you.

---

Posted by MJDoc12

you know what? i think your DH needs some time on Joeys couch so he can appreciate YOU and all YOU do for him. sleeping a few days on a stinky couch and having to smell joey's balls might make a difference.

its like joey has him brainwashed or something!

---

funny but TRUE. for weeks, MIL has been referring to Joey as DH's 'mistress'. EVERYONE can see how attached DH is to Joey. Its pathetic.

They have been friends for years. Fine, I get it. You want to be his friend, FINE. You can do that after you are a father & a husband.

---

Posted by carolinep24

Caroline, sometimes your husband just sounds like a d*ck.



Hang in there.. I honestly hope it works out for you.

---

Um that's b/c he IS a d!ck. And sometimes, I really don't care if it works out or not. I am at the point of complete ambivalence

wow, caroline. im really sorry. what a mess!!!!!!

what is DH's obsession w/ joey?!?! im so perplexed.

i hope he comes to his senses, fixes the mess and realizes his priorities- you, ella, and his family. friends are great but this relationship sounds TOXIC.

Caroline, it just about broke my heart to read that the Joey thing is so far gone that you are ambivalent about your marriage.

If your DH were to read this entire thread, do you think that would be the kick in the head ?
I really do think that he needs to be on his own with Joey to realize just what the heck he is doing to his marriage.
Since you feel ambivalent, do you think that your husband feels the same way ?

Caroline, I am so sorry that you & Ella have to to through this. I agree that your DH needs to spend some time away from Joey and more time with you & Ella.