Your Friday Laughs
IDIOTS IN SERVICE
This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00p.m. When I
asked if they could give me a smaller time frame the pleasant gentleman asked, 'Would you like us to call you before we come?' I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).
IDIOTS AT WORK
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of
her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' She smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
IDIOT SIGHTING #2
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer
was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?'
IDIOT SIGHTING #3
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not a word was spoken. We all just
looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
IDIOT SIGHTING #4
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
IDIOT SIGHTING #5
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' To which he replied, 'I know - I got that
side.'
Now don't you feel better.
This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00p.m. When I
asked if they could give me a smaller time frame the pleasant gentleman asked, 'Would you like us to call you before we come?' I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).
IDIOTS AT WORK
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of
her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' She smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
IDIOT SIGHTING #2
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer
was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?'
IDIOT SIGHTING #3
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not a word was spoken. We all just
looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
IDIOT SIGHTING #4
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
IDIOT SIGHTING #5
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' To which he replied, 'I know - I got that
side.'
Now don't you feel better.
