101 things I wish I knew before I got married**UPDATED W/CHAPTERS***
Has anyone read this book? I just bought it yesterday and started reading it last night and this morning on the train. It is a great read and definitely makes you look at some things differently.
Its not like 101 specific detailed things you do. Not like 'say i love you before you go to bed' (i just made that up) but it really goes alot deeper than that. It also helps for you to find your own true happiness which they say you need in order to have a loving relationship. It is a couple that wrote the book together and they come right out and say how they had alot of hard times and came close to divorce but that people just need to realize that no relationship is perfect, every relationship will have its downfalls and we go through seasons and you will hit some hard winters. But also its the hard times and the fight to work through things that can make your relationship stronger and you learn more about eachother. The couple are both therapists and also do marriage counseling so they use alot of examples
Each chapter is topics we mostly all deal with. They either speak about their own experience and what they went through and how they worked it out or they give an example of another couple and either speak of how they worked it out, or even didn't work it out and what prevented them from working it out.
The couple even say they don't want to tell you what to do but just how to look at things differently. I personally love the advice they give and agree with it.
Definitely recommend this book
******UPDATE********
here are some of the chapter titles, theres 101 obviously lol...i wont list all but ill list ALOT lol, just to give you an idea about the book
-great relationships don't just happen; they are created
-vulnerability is disarming
-one of the greatest gifts you can give your partner is your own happiness
-It's possible to hate and love someone at the same time
-when you complain about your partner to your friends, remember that their feedback is based upon distorted information
-the only rules in a marriage are those to which you both choose to agree
-commitment isn't a prison; its a means to graeter freedom
-it isn't conflict that destroys marriages; its the cold, smoldering resentment that is bred by withholding
-it's not what you got, it's what you do with it
-even good marriages have recurring seasons, and there can be some hard winters
-growing up in a happy family doesn't ensure a good marriage, and growing up in an unhappy family doesn't preclude having one
-it's never too late to repair damaged trust
-If you can't be happy without your partner, you won't be happy together
-the prince isn't going to come
-one person, no matter how much they love you, cannot meet all of your emotional needs
-the real issue is usually not the one you're arguing about
-love isn't just a feeling; it's an action that shows our caring
-even people with great marriages sometimes wonder whether they have married the wrong person
-your partner cannot rescue you from unhappiness, but they can help you to rescue yourself
-guilt-tripping won't get you what you really want
-give what you want to receive
-dont neglect your friends just because you've acquired a spouse
-resisting the temptation to prove your point will win you a lot of points
-what you judge in your partner is a reflection of what you judge in yourself
-your partner is your teacher and your student
-if your partner is being defensive, you may be giving them reason to be
-trust can be rebuilt, even after a painful betrayal, but it may require hard work
-marriage does require sacrifice, but what you stand to gain is infinitely greater than what you give up
-being attracted to someone else doesn't diminish the quality of your marrige; acting on that attraction does
-possessiveness and jealousy are born out of fear, not love
-don't say anything about your partner that you're not willing to say to them
-your greatest weakness can become your greatest strength
-if your partner thinks something is important, it is!
-the sparkle of a new relationship is always temporary
-it's better to focus on what you can do to make things right than on what your partner did to make things wrong
-when two hearts are connect, the biggest problems become workable; when they are not, the smallest difficulties seem insurmountable
-constructive criticism generally isn't
-assumptions are fine, as long as you check them out before acting on them
Its not like 101 specific detailed things you do. Not like 'say i love you before you go to bed' (i just made that up) but it really goes alot deeper than that. It also helps for you to find your own true happiness which they say you need in order to have a loving relationship. It is a couple that wrote the book together and they come right out and say how they had alot of hard times and came close to divorce but that people just need to realize that no relationship is perfect, every relationship will have its downfalls and we go through seasons and you will hit some hard winters. But also its the hard times and the fight to work through things that can make your relationship stronger and you learn more about eachother. The couple are both therapists and also do marriage counseling so they use alot of examples
Each chapter is topics we mostly all deal with. They either speak about their own experience and what they went through and how they worked it out or they give an example of another couple and either speak of how they worked it out, or even didn't work it out and what prevented them from working it out.
The couple even say they don't want to tell you what to do but just how to look at things differently. I personally love the advice they give and agree with it.
Definitely recommend this book
******UPDATE********
here are some of the chapter titles, theres 101 obviously lol...i wont list all but ill list ALOT lol, just to give you an idea about the book
-great relationships don't just happen; they are created
-vulnerability is disarming
-one of the greatest gifts you can give your partner is your own happiness
-It's possible to hate and love someone at the same time
-when you complain about your partner to your friends, remember that their feedback is based upon distorted information
-the only rules in a marriage are those to which you both choose to agree
-commitment isn't a prison; its a means to graeter freedom
-it isn't conflict that destroys marriages; its the cold, smoldering resentment that is bred by withholding
-it's not what you got, it's what you do with it
-even good marriages have recurring seasons, and there can be some hard winters
-growing up in a happy family doesn't ensure a good marriage, and growing up in an unhappy family doesn't preclude having one
-it's never too late to repair damaged trust
-If you can't be happy without your partner, you won't be happy together
-the prince isn't going to come
-one person, no matter how much they love you, cannot meet all of your emotional needs
-the real issue is usually not the one you're arguing about
-love isn't just a feeling; it's an action that shows our caring
-even people with great marriages sometimes wonder whether they have married the wrong person
-your partner cannot rescue you from unhappiness, but they can help you to rescue yourself
-guilt-tripping won't get you what you really want
-give what you want to receive
-dont neglect your friends just because you've acquired a spouse
-resisting the temptation to prove your point will win you a lot of points
-what you judge in your partner is a reflection of what you judge in yourself
-your partner is your teacher and your student
-if your partner is being defensive, you may be giving them reason to be
-trust can be rebuilt, even after a painful betrayal, but it may require hard work
-marriage does require sacrifice, but what you stand to gain is infinitely greater than what you give up
-being attracted to someone else doesn't diminish the quality of your marrige; acting on that attraction does
-possessiveness and jealousy are born out of fear, not love
-don't say anything about your partner that you're not willing to say to them
-your greatest weakness can become your greatest strength
-if your partner thinks something is important, it is!
-the sparkle of a new relationship is always temporary
-it's better to focus on what you can do to make things right than on what your partner did to make things wrong
-when two hearts are connect, the biggest problems become workable; when they are not, the smallest difficulties seem insurmountable
-constructive criticism generally isn't
-assumptions are fine, as long as you check them out before acting on them
