16-year old cousin - should he bring his G/F?

Original post by RisiLeigh

Jun 05, 2008 08:50 AM

Good morning ladies!!

FH has a cousin who is 16. We did not invite him to the wedding with a guest. Actually, at our e-party he showed up w/ his friend (a male friend) which annoyed everyone b/c they never asked if he could bring a friend. FH's parents couldn't believe it! That's pretty much the reason we didn't invite him with a guest to the wedding.

I got his reply the other day and he wrote '2' on it and then started to write 'I've included my GF thanks!' I guess his parents caught it and said something b/c he crossed out the '2' and made it a '1' and crossed out what he wrote.

The thing is, FH feels like if he has a girlfriend he should be allowed to bring her. I am not SO against it, however, they're 16 - are they even gonna still be together by the time the wedding is here? I REFUSE to let him bring a friend in her place, should they happen to break up! And FMIL pointed out that even if he brings her, he prob won't give more of a gift, unless his parents make it clear to him that he has to...

Any insight???

agraydc Posted: Jun 05, 2008 02:01 PM

Re: 16-year old cousin - should he bring his G/F?

Posted by futuremrsfab

Posted by Kimbalina

DO not invite!!

That is my honest opinion!

i agree!

me 2!!!!!

Soon2BMrsD Posted: Jun 05, 2008 03:28 PM

Re: 16-year old cousin - should he bring his G/F?

maybe i can help!! i have 3 cousins all siblings..
18,16 &15 the 18 year old has a girl friend for many years so he was absolutley invited with her.. the 16 year old just started dating this boy (very nice kid very respectable ) and i did not invite her with him on her invite... i went up to her privately and said your more then welcome to bring 'john' with you to the wedding if you would like... i made sure she got the point that iment 'john' and john only! now lets say god forbid they brake up.. she knows clearly she can not bring someone in his shoes. and i did this a month before the wedding. that way its close enough to the wedding things souldnt change

i hope this helps!

ohand the 15 year old didnt get invited with a guest b.c he doesnt have a SO that has been introduced to the family so to me they should nto be invited with one.

Wifeynella Posted: Jun 05, 2008 03:29 PM

Re: 16-year old cousin - should he bring his G/F?

i think any one under 18 shouldnt be invited with guest

RisiLeigh Posted: Jun 05, 2008 03:30 PM

Re: 16-year old cousin - should he bring his G/F?

Posted by Soon2BMrsD

maybe i can help!! i have 3 cousins all siblings..
18,16 &15 the 18 year old has a girl friend for many years so he was absolutley invited with her.. the 16 year old just started dating this boy (very nice kid very respectable ) and i did not invite her with him on her invite... i went up to her privately and said your more then welcome to bring 'john' with you to the wedding if you would like... i made sure she got the point that iment 'john' and john only! now lets say god forbid they brake up.. she knows clearly she can not bring someone in his shoes. and i did this a month before the wedding. that way its close enough to the wedding things souldnt change

i hope this helps!

ohand the 15 year old didnt get invited with a guest b.c he doesnt have a SO that has been introduced to the family so to me they should nto be invited with one.

Thank you! Yeah I am going to talk to FH later about the whole thing (before we see the cousin on Sunday and he brings it up!).

Soon2BMrsD Posted: Jun 05, 2008 03:33 PM

Re: 16-year old cousin - should he bring his G/F?

the way i look at it is if i was in the 16 year olds shoes i would want my boyfriend to come so im trying to understand if situation was flipped. but she was more then understand and very thankful when i told her she could bring him. unfortunately he will be out of town but i think she felt like a 'grown up' when she was invited with her b/f afterwards i felt like i had done the right thing b/c i was really on the fence about the whole thing.

soon2bmrsconnolly Posted: Jun 05, 2008 03:33 PM

Re: 16-year old cousin - should he bring his G/F?

I am marrying the guy I was with at 16! I would tell him that if he is still with her, he is more than welcome to bring her, but she may not be replaced by any random friend.

SAMORY Posted: Jun 05, 2008 03:40 PM

Re: 16-year old cousin - should he bring his G/F?

I wouldn't invite them. I am not inviting anyone under 22.

little34 Posted: Jun 05, 2008 03:42 PM

Re: 16-year old cousin - should he bring his G/F?

I would not invite her unless they have been together for awhile.... we are trying to keep the number down so even for adults....we are not inviting everyone with guests unless they are married (of course), engaged, or have been dating seriously for close to a year....it just gets too expensive!

RisiLeigh Posted: Jun 05, 2008 03:43 PM

Re: 16-year old cousin - should he bring his G/F?

Posted by soon2bmrsconnolly

I am marrying the guy I was with at 16! I would tell him that if he is still with her, he is more than welcome to bring her, but she may not be replaced by any random friend.

Yeah thats what I originally told FH. FMIL pointed out the gift aspect though - and I don't mean to sound like all we want is presents/money but if we are shelling out say $200 total for both of them to eat, it'd just be nice to get something similar in return and I am not sure he'd do that... he doesn't even have a job.

Sorry if I sound totally materialistic I just saw how bad that sounded