1st BM fight.....****UPDATE/MAKEUP*****

So yestarday I was all excited, ordered my dress and 2 of my 3 girls decided they like the dress I picked out and we just have to decide on colors. Now my flower girl is going to wear the smaller version of their dresses, no big deal. My other BM, my BBF, wasnt so happy.

Now this was the only time I could get my sister, she is in nursing school and has NO time til the summer. So since she gave the day I took advatage of it. My FSIL was able to go as well. My other BM couldnt get off even with 2 months notice, fine we can make an appiontment with her another day, that's what I thought.

So I call her and I can hear it in her voice that she wasnt excited at all, not even for me getting my dress. She asked me to email her the dress for the girls again and we get off the phone. I email her the site page and later last night she was online. I ask her what she thought she said they were OK. Now so you know she isnt happy with anything I ve ever picked out because she has gained weight and isnt comfortable with anything. Understandable but, everything she picks is from the 80's. Plus she doesnt like her under arms and wants sleeves. I'm getting marriedin August no one wants to wear sleeves, not even my sister whoi hates dresses and hasnt woren one since her PROM!!!! And I'm not talking tank sleeves either. So I tell her it'll cost her but, get a jacket made to match the dress but, dont wear it in pics or during the ceremnoy. Fine since she is worried about when she dances and lifts her arms up but, she'll have to deal with the sweat marks.

Ok so now that you know that...... We were texting eachother back and forth last night and I said that she isnt satisfied with anything I pick out , not even my dress. And she said she is always honest and she doesnt like my dress!!!! Fine but, you can find something nice about it and say something about that. She feels I should wear something tight and sleeky. Since I lost all this weight, bla bla bla. I'm the bride and I am going to wear what makes me feel like a bride and thats that. I didnt expect the dress I am getting to be my gown, I thought simple but, hey its my day!

So to finish this long vent and go get my sons hair cut off
I dont know what she is going to do. She told me know she is F U C K I N P I S S E D off. So am I. I texted her after she said that and told her I want her to be in the wedding but, that I feel that she is uncomfortable with herself and no matter what dress is picked she wont be happy. Like I said she has gained but, if she doesnt want to be in the party for that reason fine, I'll be hurt and upset for along time but, its her decision just like it was when I asked her.
Please no one take the weight gain as an insult, I am saying this because she tells me all the time how she feels in regular clothes.

****Also forgot that she she after it being OK, that it doesnt matter what she likes WE made up our minds**** Mind you I changed from tea-length to long dress cause she wanted that I understand that she wants to make a decision also but, then she should have been there as well. 2 months is plenty of time to get off from work.*****

******UPDATE***** After telling Fh what happend he is soooo P I S S E D and now doesnt want her in the wedding!!! I am going to have to wait for him to cool down and talk with him later. Then after that I'll have to deal with her. He says it is my DAY and no one should ruin it and he doesnt want anything or anyone like that to put stress on me now or the day of. I'll keep you guys updated

awww i'm sorry you have to go through this!!!!

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Posted by Browneyesncute

awww i'm sorry you have to go through this!!!!

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Thanks Lin

honesty is one thing, but once you picked out your dress and love it she shouldn't have told you she hated it. she could have phrased it like, 'i expected you to pick a dress like A but i'm sure you will also look beautiful in B'

i think the jacket is a good idea, or maybe a pashmina.

sorry shes being such a pain

All I can say is that you can't please everyone.

It's your wedding and it's very thoughtful of you to involve your BM's in the dress selection process but not everyone is going to love what you pick out. At the end of the day, if she is going to let a dress stand in the way of her best friends wedding, not sure if she should be in it [I hope that didn't come off rude]. I have big and small girls in my bridal party. It's not easy trying to find something that everyone will love or even be content with, but I saw the dresses you picked and I thought they were beautiful.

As for the comment about your dress ... She must have just been p i s s e d off about the BM dress because you look AMAZING in your dress.

Try not to let it stress you out too much

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Posted by KristiAnn923

All I can say is that you can't please everyone.

It's your wedding and it's very thoughtful of you to involve your BM's in the dress selection process but not everyone is going to love what you pick out. At the end of the day, if she is going to let a dress stand in the way of her best friends wedding, not sure if she should be in it [I hope that didn't come off rude]. I have big and small girls in my bridal party. It's not easy trying to find something that everyone will love or even be content with, but I saw the dresses you picked and I thought they were beautiful.

As for the comment about your dress ... She must have just been p i s s e d off about the BM dress because you look AMAZING in your dress.

Try not to let it stress you out too much

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She said she didnt like my dress from day 1, so she wasnt just mad. But thank you gals

Awh, I'm so sorry.

First off, you look amazing in your dress, I wouldn't even let that get to you. As long as you love your dress that's really all that matters, cause when you make your grand entrance, you are going to be glowing and you will look AMAZING!!!

As far as the BM dress, you gave her 2 months notice to take off and if it was that important to her to see the dress and love it, she should have been there. You were able to get you other 2 girls there and you made your choice and that's that. She will have to deal. And you did tell her she can get a matching jacket, which will help the arm situation. She just wasn't to be mad, she would have been upset no matter what dress you picked. This is your special day and if she's a true friend, she will be happy for you. At this point you are best to just let it go. Tell her I'm sorry you aren't happy, but I really love that dress for you girls and I think you will look really good in it and I think the matching jacket will make you feel a lot more comfortable, you'll see. And just move on. I mean what does she expect you to do, get everyone together again to try on more, she might not even make that apt. Don't stress over it. I'm sure she'll come around. So sorry you have to go through this though.

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Posted by dazies1011

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Posted by KristiAnn923

All I can say is that you can't please everyone.

It's your wedding and it's very thoughtful of you to involve your BM's in the dress selection process but not everyone is going to love what you pick out. At the end of the day, if she is going to let a dress stand in the way of her best friends wedding, not sure if she should be in it [I hope that didn't come off rude]. I have big and small girls in my bridal party. It's not easy trying to find something that everyone will love or even be content with, but I saw the dresses you picked and I thought they were beautiful.

As for the comment about your dress ... She must have just been p i s s e d off about the BM dress because you look AMAZING in your dress.

Try not to let it stress you out too much

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She said she didnt like my dress from day 1, so she wasnt just mad. But thank you gals

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Awww well I still think you look Fabulous!!!

seems like she won't be pleased with anything you do. You have every right to be upset...I would be too after trying everything to make her feel comfortable.

ITA with Kristi that you can't please everyone....I think your dress is sooo pretty and it looks fabulous on you!!!

Do you think that there is some sort of jealousy bc youre getting married??

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Posted by KristiAnn923

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Posted by dazies1011

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Posted by KristiAnn923

All I can say is that you can't please everyone.

It's your wedding and it's very thoughtful of you to involve your BM's in the dress selection process but not everyone is going to love what you pick out. At the end of the day, if she is going to let a dress stand in the way of her best friends wedding, not sure if she should be in it [I hope that didn't come off rude]. I have big and small girls in my bridal party. It's not easy trying to find something that everyone will love or even be content with, but I saw the dresses you picked and I thought they were beautiful.

As for the comment about your dress ... She must have just been p i s s e d off about the BM dress because you look AMAZING in your dress.

Try not to let it stress you out too much

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She said she didnt like my dress from day 1, so she wasnt just mad. But thank you gals

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Awww well I still think you look Fabulous!!!

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Thanks Kristi

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Posted by maggiejoe

seems like she won't be pleased with anything you do. You have every right to be upset...I would be too after trying everything to make her feel comfortable.

ITA with Kristi that you can't please everyone....I think your dress is sooo pretty and it looks fabulous on you!!!

Do you think that there is some sort of jealousy bc youre getting married??

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I really dont think so but maybe sad that I'm starting a new part of my life

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Posted by Jamey09

Awh, I'm so sorry.

First off, you look amazing in your dress, I wouldn't even let that get to you. As long as you love your dress that's really all that matters, cause when you make your grand entrance, you are going to be glowing and you will look AMAZING!!!

As far as the BM dress, you gave her 2 months notice to take off and if it was that important to her to see the dress and love it, she should have been there. You were able to get you other 2 girls there and you made your choice and that's that. She will have to deal. And you did tell her she can get a matching jacket, which will help the arm situation. She just wasn't to be mad, she would have been upset no matter what dress you picked. This is your special day and if she's a true friend, she will be happy for you. At this point you are best to just let it go. Tell her I'm sorry you aren't happy, but I really love that dress for you girls and I think you will look really good in it and I think the matching jacket will make you feel a lot more comfortable, you'll see. And just move on. I mean what does she expect you to do, get everyone together again to try on more, she might not even make that apt. Don't stress over it. I'm sure she'll come around. So sorry you have to go through this though.

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Thank you

update, fh is mad

Oh Chris, I'm sorry. Dont let her upset you. Has she even seen the dress in person? Sometimes you think something wont look good until you try it on. Plus, if she wants she has over a year to tone up her arms so she feels comfortable in a dress without sleeves.

That's terrible that she's giving you advice about your dress - that's not her place.

My best advice for you is to see if you can meet in person to talk things out - I always feel emotions get lost of confused in emails or text messages.

Good luck!

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Posted by dazies1011



******UPDATE***** After telling Fh what happend he is soooo P I S S E D and now doesnt want her in the wedding!!! I am going to have to wait for him to cool down and talk with him later. Then after that I'll have to deal with her. He says it is my DAY and no one should ruin it and he doesnt want anything or anyone like that to put stress on me now or the day of. I'll keep you guys updated

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FH is right about most of the above. It is your day and you should have people adding stress to your day, but unfortanetly that's what happens, not that it's fair. I think he will cool down. He's just looking out for you and protecting you. I do hope you BM will snap out of this and be a true friend and just be there for you, usually they do come around. So I guess for now time is your best friend. And basically as far as the dress, I would just tell her listen I tried to accomodate for you be changing the length, I also told you that you can get the matching jacket to cover you arms, I am sorry you weren't able to be there when I went with the other girls, but 'I' picked the dress for my BM to wear for 'my' wedding and I really hope you can try to like it. I think you will look amazing in it once you give it a try. And just leave it at that. WHat else can you do.
Good luck!!!