1st love blues...

Anyway, I got this idea in my head a few weeks ago...

I was going to put together this collection of stuff for my daughter...write a novel about my first love and all the experiences of discovering love for the first time. I was also going to include in the collection old love letters, jewelry from old boyfriends, stuff like that. I remember being mezmorized by stories of my Mom's old boyfriends and rummaging through her truck of old memories just for kicks. I even have some of the antique jewelry from some of these guys. I was going to make the final items in the truck some of my memoirs of my relationship w/her father (pictures/letters, etc.).

Anyway, I haven't seen/heard anything about 1st love in about 10 years. Out of nowhere a former mutual friend contacted me through classmates and said that they heard he died from an OD over the weekend. He was in and out of rehab since we broke up in 1988 and never really took control over his life. I can't believe I was considering this idea and then I hear this. I have to honestly say I feel shaken, like I looked up fate by thinking of this idea...am I totally wacked out or what?? If it's true, it just seems so sad to me that he never got his life together and that it ended so senselessly....

Re: 1st love blues...

I'm sorry for your loss. Drug addiction is tough to kick.

Re: 1st love blues...

I am sorry for your loss. I think what you are going to do for her is a good thing. So she can get an insight into how mommy was as a girl

Re: 1st love blues...

my suggestion would be to seperate yourself from it...i know you said you liked looking through your own mom's stuff from her younger days...but i think i'd be freaked if i came across something like that of my mom's...maybe you can just try to focus on YOU in your memory box...so your daughter can learn about you...do you feel your relationships are what defined you as a person?
if you must include things about old boyfriends in your story to your daughter maybe you can try to fictionalize it...

Re: 1st love blues...

That's so sad. Sorry to hear about that.

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That's a shame sorry

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that's awful to hear. i'm so sorry

it seems like fate alwayus does things like that to us. Do whatever you feel comfortable with doing. Also, I agree, don't make it seem to your faughter that your relationships are what define you entirely, maybe you can amke a scrapbook and include many memories from various things in your life.

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It's not so much to define my life as I think it would be neat for her to know some of her Mom's background, how she felt, who she loved and why. I know so much about my Mom's life but so little of my fathers. I like knowing her history - how she developed into who she is and how her interests were formed. I wasn't going to make it all about the boys - I was going to add in the fun stuff about my reckless teen years, hanging out w/the girls and starting a sorority...I think it would be neat...

I still feel bad for ex-boyfriend. I hate hearing when anyone dies young but to die over something so stupid. I guess he made his choices and suffered the consequences of them but still....I just hate drugs so much.

Re: 1st love blues...

WOW!!! although not on this negative level, i have these ironic (out of the blue) things happen to me all the time. now i sound like whacko.

anyway, i am sorry to hear of this sad news. i know you have moved on, but there is still a place in your heart for your first love. sending you hugs and good thoughts.

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sorry for your loss

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I am so sorry for your loss.

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I am sorry for your loss i would say if you wanted to still do a memoir you should and make it in his memory. there was a reason why you were thinking about doing it.

Re: 1st love blues...

I'm sorry

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I am soooo sorry for the emotional roller coaster this must be putting you through

i think the scrapbook idea is such a great one! i remember coming across pics of my mom with her old bf's (prom pics, etc).. and old love notes... and it was so nostalgic to me (eventhough my mom is so young)... i felt like i got to take a peek at history, and see my mom when she was just Mary... not 'janine's mom'. also, i feel like every relationship (whether w/ a bf or with friends) adds to the person you become... i think that for her to have a book to read about how her mom became who she was .... will be one of the greatest history books she ever gets to read