OK I just have to vent.. My FH and I love together already and for the first time this weekend we had my FMIL and sister in law stay with us. Ok first off they are Canadian and second she is an off the boat Greek mother. It was absolutely the worst experience of my life. They were so rude and put me out in MY OWN HOME.
When FH came home from work I didnt jump off the couch and cater to him like a good greek girl should do. He made coffee and I should have made it for them. The next nite for dinner they were upstairs I was outside with his god son kicking a ball around, when I ran upstairs for a drink she was cooking and said ummmm what are you gonna eat, and can u tell my son his food is ready. WYF So where do istand. ughh
his Sis is a super stuck up *****. Needless to say it was awful and now I am gonna be talked about to his side of the fam as a horrible wife.
My FH says I should try to make an effort, but so should they I wanna just turn my back, what should i do...................
So sad
thanks
madseason
Posted:
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Re: 1st time having FMIL stay with us
Hmm....First - FH might feel like he is in the middle - however - he is marrying u - so he needs to step up a little and support you and be there for you. This is a def culture clash and his mom is only acting how she was taught to act (im assuming i dont know anyting about greek culture)and the way she is accustomed.
Maybe just put a smile oin for the time they are staying and just be firm, but nice - maybe say 'oh john likes to make his coffee - or we take turns cooking'
HTH
flairforfashion
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Re: 1st time having FMIL stay with us
LOL, I can relate.... Well, used to. My ex was Greek. I'll never forget this one time we went to his cousin's house. They were newly married. The Husband went out to pick up laundry at the laundromat. His MIL came over while he was out. He came home and MIL saw him with the basket of clothes and yelled at her daughter (his wife) She was yelling that it's the duty of the wife to do the laundry. Yep, those were the moments I witnessed. Just be thankful that she isn't there with you all the time. Greek women are always the ones who take care of the men and the family of the household. That was the way his Mom was brought up. As time goes on, I am sure this will get better!
MrsK2008
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Re: 1st time having FMIL stay with us
I dealt with my FMIL for 4 years until I had had enough.
You cannot cater to her, it will never work.
Be yourself and stand your ground. Your FH will deal with it!
wifetobe
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Re: 1st time having FMIL stay with us
Posted by Costabeba
OK I just have to vent.. My FH and I love together already and for the first time this weekend we had my FMIL and sister in law stay with us. Ok first off they are Canadian and second she is an off the boat Greek mother. It was absolutely the worst experience of my life. They were so rude and put me out in MY OWN HOME.
When FH came home from work I didnt jump off the couch and cater to him like a good greek girl should do. He made coffee and I should have made it for them. The next nite for dinner they were upstairs I was outside with his god son kicking a ball around, when I ran upstairs for a drink she was cooking and said ummmm what are you gonna eat, and can u tell my son his food is ready. WYF So where do istand. ughh
his Sis is a super stuck up *****. Needless to say it was awful and now I am gonna be talked about to his side of the fam as a horrible wife.
I hear ya!!!! I grew up in an Italian house hold.. same thing..woman waites on the man hand and foot!!! That's why Im marrying an Irishmen!!!! His mother NEVER cooked or cleaned. He did it all himself...so now...he doens't expect it!!!!
My FH says I should try to make an effort, but so should they I wanna just turn my back, what should i do...................
So sad
thanks
zoe282
Posted:
Member since
Re: 1st time having FMIL stay with us
Well i will start off with good news...at least they aren't around all the time....the bad news is that I think that your FH should stick up for you. You guys live in America and it's perfectly ok for man and woman to share the duties! He should be the one to tell his mother that. Her way isn't wrong it's just different then how you two want to live your lives. I don't know what i would do if my FMIL made dinner to FH and not me....wow....but in reality you don't have to deal with htem too often it seems. You are a better person then I though...I probably would've flipped. I have a big mouth!
mariaobride
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Re: 1st time having FMIL stay with us
so sorry to hear I wouldnt wish this on anyone how uncomfortable
Lucky0510
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Re: 1st time having FMIL stay with us
I am so sorry you have to deal with this i know exactly how you feel! My ex's mother is Italian. when we lived near her... she would visit almost every weekend. She would make comments like 'oh I am gonna have to show you how to clean this mess' and she would cook every meal the entire weekend. I almost flipped out so many times... but my ex told me not to say anything to her. so I just got obnoxious and started ordering dinner from restaurants in the area... while she was cooking dinner. then i would deliberately leaving a huge mess in the kitchen while she was there. it was hilarious to me and she def got the point
Costabeba
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Re: 1st time having FMIL stay with us
THanks so much ladies
It was just so hard but hearing ur stories and advice made me laugh..
And ur right I wont see them often..
Have a great weekend!!!
gabbie83
Posted:
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Re: 1st time having FMIL stay with us
i feel your pain! my FMIL stayed with us for 10 weeks from oct till january!
I FEEL YOUR PAIN! i told FH never ever again for that long.
