Does anybody have 2 MOHs? Like, not a Maid and Matron of honor - 2 Maids of Honors.
Here's what I'm thinking - my sister is my MOH, but she lives in Baltimore, and I know my best friend and BM has been doing the majority of work on the Shower (which apparently I'm 'not' having, but already figured out when it is ), and if I didn't have a sister should would definitely have the MOH title.
I made my sister MOH basically because she's my sister, and I felt it'd be wrong to do otherwise.....and I really wanted her to be that, I know it meant a lot. But I totally feel like my one BM deserves the title too, and of course she's next in line.......Is it even feasable to ask her to be my 2nd MOH with only 2 months til the wedding? Or is that like a slap in the face to my sister? Like, 'you're not doing enough for this wedding, even if you can't help it cause you're not local, so I'm going to make her MOH too'. Know what I mean? It's an option that's only just occured to me.....
BM wasn't expecting to be my MOH to begin with - I just would like to find a way for people to recognize what she's done for me. I have 5 BM total, she is the only one that lives nearby.
Any thoughts?
(BTW Best friend BM is organizing the entire bachelorette party on her own too)
alison1daland
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maybe discuss it with your sister and see what she thinks before making a decision? just out of courtesey for her...
tricia3381
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maybe get her an extra Bridal gift and give it to her on the side?
MrsB2BE
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I have two MOH - My first MOH is my best friend for over 15 years - She accepted the position- however she has not been living up to her role. One of my BM who has been a close friend for over 10 years has been given me the greatest support - from looking for dresses, shoes , working on my song list, listening to me when I am having moments. I asked her to be my MOH because I believe she derserves the honor. She is the person spearheading my Bachelorette party also.
Your sister should not be offended but understand your reasoning for having 2 MOH - Just explain to her how your friend has been a great support to you especially since she is so close........
drpepper318
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That's a hard decision. I definitely believe in giving people the recognition they deserve. Personally I think I'd just get her something special extra to thank her for all that she's done and to let her know how much you appreciate everything, and leave it at that. As far as the recognition maybe when you give a your speech at your rehearsal dinner or shower, just mention her by name and say how you want to thank her especially for whatever it is she's done for you. I probably wouldn't change her title at this point. I have the opposite problem... I actually have a 'self-proclaimed' moh!!!.. I didn't want to have an MOH at all (I don't have any sisters). But one of my bm's has the impression that she's my moh, I guess because when I asked her to be in my bridal party, I told her she was the first person I was asking and she got really excited and said 'so I'm your maid of honor?' and at the moment I didn't know what to say, I felt uncomfortable and kinda didn't answer her so I thought she'd forget about it, but ever since then she always refers to herself as my moh (now it's too late to tell her she's really not)! I wouldn't really care what she thinks, but it's annoying cause the other girls have been SO helpful to me and she has done NOTHING to help me with wedding stuff. So she gets no recognition from me, I never call her my moh and I wish she weren't even a bridesmaid but too late now!!!
Dalito322
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Re: 2 MOHs? Opinion.... (kind of long)
Oh no!! Wow, I can't believe she made herself your made of honor? You're not letting her give a speech are you?
Yea, I think it's a little late to make a title change, so I definitely agree with getting her something special in addition to the BM gifts. I'll definitely make a point of thanking her - stressing over whether to make her a MOH or not at this point is probably not even worth it!
portjeffbride
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I think traditionally there is only one best man and MOH becuase they're the legal witnesses, and sign on the dotted line....
If you have 2 MOH, only one can sign as a witness, so then that must be hammered out....
angl2001
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When my wedding comes around i will have 2 Matrons of honor. I asked my bestfirrend of 10 years first and i had the same problem, she was in PA at the time and my other bestfriend was here and was doing so much with mme and my planning. So i called the first friend and asked her if she would feel bad if i also asked my other friend. She was fine with it! She said it was actaully a great idea since she couldnt be here for alot of it! I would say talk to your sister first and then decide. Just explain to her what you told us and see what she says :) hope that helped!! good luck
rrmikesgal
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I had two maids of honor, both my cousin and my sister and things went very smoothly. My husband also had two best men, his brother and his best friend. I would just say to your sister that you thought long and hard about it and you wanted to have two of the most special ladies in your life stand by your side, and just tell her that this way she could share the duties for that day with someone else.
angl2001
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sorry hit wrong button lol
angl2001
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LeeLee111
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I also have 2 maids of honor. It was easier for my MOH's to plan everything together. Dont worry about whats standard, my wedding party is anything but standard. These days, anything goes. We have 5 bridesmaids, 2 maids of honor, 1 best man, 4 ushers, and a ring bearer. Do what works for you.
Dalito322
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Oh I don't care about what's standard as far as wedding parties - already I have 5 BM and he has 4 GM.
I think what I'm most torn about is the time frame. If I had thought of the idea of 2 MOHs a year and a half ago when I asked everyone, that'd be fine.....But, it's only 2 months until the wedding, and all the planning involving BMs is either done or in the works.
So being that BM already did a huge chunk of the work.....I guess becoming a MOH would be like a promotion huh?
SoontobeMrsH
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Hmmn, why can't you have 2 Maid of Honor? I'm having:
- Matron of Honor -Maid of Honor -Man of Honor (possibly a Bride's Man, still up in the air)
& 2 BMs
ama1771
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i have two matrons of honor
LBride
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I would keep just your sister... you have a great friend and she's doing all these things out of the goodness of your heart, I'm sure she understands and doesn't expect to be MOH...
waterspout4
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I wouldn't change any titles so close to the wedding. But you should do something nice for her. Maybe take her out for dinner one night and tell her how you feel!
eelharas4700
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im in the same position. my sister is down in north carolina, and we honestly arent as close as i would like to be. but, shes my sister-so shes my moh. i am just having 1 moh. i know who is doing what based on my friends....ultimately it is your decision. you can absolutely have a maid of honor and matron of honor....or 2 moh. my fsil did. i agree, maybe you should slip it past your sister and just see if she would be offended or wouldnt mind first. maybe that will help you make a decision.
lacey&mark
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i think with 2 months left, its a little late for the title change. i would just thank your good friend for going the extra mile for you during this time. let her know you appreciate all she's doing for you.
