4 days to go...DRAMA!

Last night while at dinner with FH my Best Friend who is also my Bridesmaid sent me the following via text message. I Included my responses to her…Feedback?


Best Friend/Bridesmaid: Question 4 u…is it ok if my mom & dad don’t go? They are telling me how uncomfortable they are about drinking and not knowing anyone…I am so sorry 2 do this…I am so upset right now

Me: Are you serious? They know u, me, and my family but ok. There are so many things already in motion…but wouldn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable Not sure why they rsvp’d yes. If they don’t want to be there they need to say so tonight.

Me: You know what, scratch all that. They don’t want to come then don’t come. I don’t want anyone there who doesn’t want to be there.

Best Friend/Bridesmaid:: OK we r talking…they want to go but are having issues with drinking but I said u can come and not stay the whole day…u have no idea what they just did to me

Best Friend/Bridesmaid:: I feel like I pressured them into something…I swear I am done living here.


Best Friend/Bridesmaid::They want to be there to celebrate with you…they don’t like being around a lot of drinking


Me: Weddings have drinking, if they don’t feel comfortable they can come for the ceremony and eave or don’t come at all. I will take them off my list tonight.


Best Friend/Bridesmaid:: Also my mom thought your mom didn’t have enough space for her friends sooo she was graciously backing out but not explaining it to me in the right way

Me: I am at dinner, I will call you when I get out….I am not mad, I just need to know tonight if they are backing out.

Best Friend/Bridesmaid::I am so sorry to do this to u

Best Friend/Bridesmaid:: Jamie stop doing this read my last text…stop they want to be there…I shouldn’t have said ****, I am soooo sorry.

Best Friend/Bridesmaid:: Jay again please listen to me, she wants to be there I am sorry 4 texting u…please don’t be mad at them…this has nothing to do with how they feel about you, they love you very much

Best Friend/Bridesmaid:: I just told u they want to be there, count them in.

After this I got very upset so FH recommended that I turn off my phone and deal with it today. I hate text, IM and email so I am going to talk to her on the phone. I havent spoken to her yet but at this point I am going to tell her to tell her parents not to come. After everything that has been said I now feel uncomfortable. This happened last night, the 5th day before my wedding.

What would you do?

just do whatever they want ... if they say they'll come, then that's fine ... and if not, then not.

don't re-start the drama with them. just let whatever happens happen.

it's stupid that they said anything in the first place if they do want to come. very annoying and it sucks that you're dealing wtih it so close to your wedding

If they're in the final count, i'd tell your friend that you're leaving it that way and they can do whatever they want to do.

PEople drink at weddings... does that mean they're never going to another wedding ever?

Anyway, let them make the decision and if you'r enot happy about it later, let them know, but don't be worrying about it 5 days before your wedding, that's BS. Your friend should have used her brain and talked to you in person after she was sure about what her parents were doing.

I think that they are being unnecessarily childish about things.

Drinking? Please. They are adults. I'm sure that your guests will not get rip-roaring trashed. Side note: my fam is Irish, DH's fam is Muslim. My family drinks like it's their job, his does not drink at all. NOT ONE PERSON had any issues at my wedding.

Graciously declining so your parents can invite more friends? Really? Graciously declining would have been RSVP'ing 'NO' weeks ago. Days in advance means that if you want to fill those seats, you need to scramble.

I wouldn't be mad at your friend...it's a 'don't shoot the messenger' thing. She's unfortunately in the middle of it. Just call her and find out - are they coming or not? That's ALL you need to know. You have bigger concerns right now, and it's not whether your friend's parents own Big Boy and Big Girl panties.

DO NOT let this get to you so close to your wedding it's totally not worth it. Leave them on your list (you already paid, right?) If they show, they show....if they dont, their loss!

Sorry you have to go through this!

This is why I love this website...thanks for all the feedback ladies.

I have to give my final count and payment tomorrow, this is why I have no problem removing them. It will screw up my tables an I will have to re-shuffle people and get new place cards but it is a small price to pay. I cant look them in the eye knowing they dont feel confortable being there.

5 days before the wedding is a little unfair/late to start having this talk. The worst part is that they pulled me into it. I would have preferred that they lied about illness. I wouldnt have questioned it.

Weddings are a real eye opener. You learn a lot about people.

I invited two recovering alcoholics to my wedding, They came to ceremony and left.
But they never RSVPed yes (they even sent me a gift).

That's tacky to do last minute but leave them in.

I think your friend is in a difficult situation because her parents are being childish. They knew there would be drinking- its a wedding! They should have never RSVP'ed yes.

Try not to let it bother you. This should be the least of your worries right now.