I went out to dinner with my bridesmaids tonight and we had an interesting convo... one of my BMs (A) just got engaged to her HS sweetheart this fall, but we just found out she's never had an O.
One of my other BMs (B) thinks sex is one of the most important parts of a relationship and has dumped guys before for not measuring up.... she said she would never let a relationship get to the point where she'd consider marrying the guy if he wasn't... skilled.
However, A's FH was her first. They dated for 2 years before they slept together so she was already pretty emotionally invested at that point. To be honest we were both really shocked because they've been sleeping together for the past 3+ years.
She claims to be OK with it since she loves her FH and says the sex isnt that impt to her.... but I don't know if I could do the same thing.
If you had an otherwise awesome relationship with FH but were never able to O.... would you still marry him? I'd like to think I would but I don't know...
Smiley7092
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Maybe she should talk to him about not having an O. Maybe they just have to try new things. I don't think sex is the MOST important thing in a relationship but ya do need it!
jasminemichelle
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Posted by Smiley7092
Maybe she should talk to him about not having an O. Maybe they just have to try new things. I don't think sex is the MOST important thing in a relationship but ya do need it!
The weird thing is she doesnt seem to mind. She thinks it might be because of the pill, and she says it's not worth the stress of going off the pill and worrying about getting preg just to have an O. (but maybe if she had one she'd sing a different tune LOL)
Cheryl28
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I wouldn't think it was the pill. I don't think it the MOST important thing but I do think you need to enjoy it a have the big 'O'. Trying new things is the way to go b/c once she has one she'll know what shes been misiing.
Munchkn16
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I dunno, but your friend and her FH should practice more.
JK. Seriously though, she might not be speaking up about what she wants or what really feels good for her. Or she might not know what works for her. Whatever the case is, she and her FH should talk and work on this together.
JoesFutureWife
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Posted by jasminemichelle
Posted by Smiley7092
Maybe she should talk to him about not having an O. Maybe they just have to try new things. I don't think sex is the MOST important thing in a relationship but ya do need it!
The weird thing is she doesnt seem to mind. She thinks it might be because of the pill, and she says it's not worth the stress of going off the pill and worrying about getting preg just to have an O. (but maybe if she had one she'd sing a different tune LOL)
She should actually discuss this with her gyno. This can be symptomatic of something bigger or the gyno can help her out with how to o <---saying that is so odd
I'd like to think i would still marry FH...i guess the world will never know!
meli722
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yes i would marry him...buttttt i would work oh so very very very hard to O.....she needs to get some toys and have him use them on her
jasminemichelle
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Posted by MISSESPINK722
yes i would marry him...buttttt i would work oh so very very very hard to O.....she needs to get some toys and have him use them on her
Maybe I'll have to throw one of those sex toy parties
Smiley7092
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LOL I was just going to say she needs some toys!!! She can start by using them herself if she feels more comfortable. My FH is my first real boyfriend and I don't know if I I could live without ever having an O lol. Has she ever had one by herself? Once you feel it you want to have it again! I have been on birth control for a long long time and believe you me that has NOTHING to do with it!!! I can still have them!!! She has to experiment and be open with her FH. I still recommend the toys though...lol
jgl
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I cant asnwer this, since im not in this situation but i think that sexual intamacy is very important to a relationship.
the problem is they are prob not communicating as to what feels good or what works/doesnt.
meli722
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Re: A controversial sex question
Posted by jasminemichelle
Posted by MISSESPINK722
yes i would marry him...buttttt i would work oh so very very very hard to O.....she needs to get some toys and have him use them on her
Maybe I'll have to throw one of those sex toy parties
this is an emergency situtation for her, no time for a party....just take her to the sex shop ASAP lol
Snowflake08
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Re: A controversial sex question
this is weird FH and I had this conversation last night
im not saying that sex is THE most impt. thing in a relationship, but i will say what i told FH
i could not be with someone that did not 'satisfy' me
i do think it is important and others may not agree, but sexual compatability is a big deal AND a major reason why women cheat or look elsewhere - guys can always 'finish'
jgl
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Re: A controversial sex question
Posted by Snowflake08
this is weird FH and I had this conversation last night
im not saying that sex is THE most impt. thing in a relationship, but i will say what i told FH
i could not be with someone that did not 'satisfy' me
i do think it is important and others may not agree, but sexual compatability is a big deal AND a major reason why women cheat or look elsewhere - guys can always 'finish'
agreed
and you have to be able to talk to each other about it - how else are you going to know what works and doesnt work for each of you
jasminemichelle
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This whole thing is so weird. I had no idea this was even an issue since they have been together like 5+ years and have been sleeping together for years too.
I'm assuming she's never had an O from any other guys or herself, but i'm not 100% sure. thats what it sounded like when she said it.
I just dont know how she stayed in a relationship like this for so long... you'd think she'd be curious whether the 'problem' is due to her, him, or just their inexperience? I'd want to sleep with another guy and see if I got an O then.....
jasminemichelle
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do you think it's a bad idea to show her this thread or should i just talk to her or just buy her a vibrator?
Butterfly123
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I think someone really has to learn their body and what works for them. Maybe since she's never had one then what she doesnt know wont hurt her. But it would be pretty frustrating if you knew the feeling but couldnt have one with a certain person. This is probably a crazy question but did she mention if she ever had an O with herself???
RKellner
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Maybe she should take FULL control!!! In all honesty... I only had sex with 3 people BESIDES FH... I NEVER had an O either... Until FH... He is the ONLY one that I ever had one with.... But the only way that I have one is when I take charge LOL....And he does ALL the right things.. I just have to be the one to do it... Sorry if TMI..... Just being honest!
sassygirl9
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out of curiousity, how old is your friend. I know a lot of you will say it doesn't matter, but it really does.
jasminemichelle
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Posted by sassygirl9
out of curiousity, how old is your friend. I know a lot of you will say it doesn't matter, but it really does.
She is 23, almost 24.
JeanetteandSteve
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Re: A controversial sex question
wow. that's tough...the O is pretty important. but for me the O comes very easily. i know many women cannot have the O just from the sex. if i never got the O from him that would be tough to deal w, but i would ask him to try different things.
if it were my FH i would still be w him and marry him.
my question is...does he KNOW she's never had one...or does she fake the O??
