I went out to dinner with my bridesmaids tonight and we had an interesting convo... one of my BMs (A) just got engaged to her HS sweetheart this fall, but we just found out she's never had an O.
One of my other BMs (B) thinks sex is one of the most important parts of a relationship and has dumped guys before for not measuring up.... she said she would never let a relationship get to the point where she'd consider marrying the guy if he wasn't... skilled.
However, A's FH was her first. They dated for 2 years before they slept together so she was already pretty emotionally invested at that point. To be honest we were both really shocked because they've been sleeping together for the past 3+ years.
She claims to be OK with it since she loves her FH and says the sex isnt that impt to her.... but I don't know if I could do the same thing.
If you had an otherwise awesome relationship with FH but were never able to O.... would you still marry him? I'd like to think I would but I don't know...
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: A controversial sex question
Posted by RKellner
Maybe she should take FULL control!!! In all honesty... I only had sex with 3 people BESIDES FH... I NEVER had an O either... Until FH... He is the ONLY one that I ever had one with.... But the only way that I have one is when I take charge LOL....And he does ALL the right things.. I just have to be the one to do it... Sorry if TMI..... Just being honest!
agreed! i don't o very easy..only when im in charge and it doesn't happen every time..but it all honestly our sex life is awesome anyway so it really doesn't matter to me at all! i still love it and him anyway even if i don't o!!
sassygirl9
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Re: A controversial sex question
well as Songstress has said above she has to know her body (maybe she's doesn't), which could be because of age, experience, a combo of both. They always say a woman doesn't really know her body until she gets into her 30's and up no matter how good you think the sex is
ItalianBride428
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Re: A controversial sex question
Posted by JoesFutureWife
Posted by jasminemichelle
Posted by Smiley7092
Maybe she should talk to him about not having an O. Maybe they just have to try new things. I don't think sex is the MOST important thing in a relationship but ya do need it!
The weird thing is she doesnt seem to mind. She thinks it might be because of the pill, and she says it's not worth the stress of going off the pill and worrying about getting preg just to have an O. (but maybe if she had one she'd sing a different tune LOL)
She should actually discuss this with her gyno. This can be symptomatic of something bigger or the gyno can help her out with how to o <---saying that is so odd
I'd like to think i would still marry FH...i guess the world will never know!
true, maybe she just...cant....it happeneds...
ItalianBride428
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Re: A controversial sex question
Posted by MISSESPINK722
Posted by jasminemichelle
Posted by MISSESPINK722
yes i would marry him...buttttt i would work oh so very very very hard to O.....she needs to get some toys and have him use them on her
Maybe I'll have to throw one of those sex toy parties
this is an emergency situtation for her, no time for a party....just take her to the sex shop ASAP lol
\
Butterfly123
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Re: A controversial sex question
She needs to get the rabbit, put on a dirty flick, and get to work. She has to know her own body before she can have one with FH!
cbcf
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Re: A controversial sex question
I think intimacy is an important part of a relationship but not the biggest. I also think intimacy can be emotional and not just sexual.
however, if i wasn't being satisfied i would def talk to the gyno and my Fh before going into thinking i dont want to be with him. i mean sure every woman wants to get an O but some have to work harder at it. Also communication is definitely an important part of a relationship and maybe they are not comfortable communicating sexually - talking about what makes them feel good during sex or what helps them feel more satisfied. KWIM?!
I have a good friend though that has a very hard time getting an O she maybe only had 4 in her sexual experiences. She has definitely had a lot of partners as well- not judging just not my thing- and she has not gotten an O from everyone considerign she only got an O 4 or 5 times ever.
Good Luck to your friend
RKellner
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Re: A controversial sex question
Posted by Bride 2 Be
Posted by RKellner
Maybe she should take FULL control!!! In all honesty... I only had sex with 3 people BESIDES FH... I NEVER had an O either... Until FH... He is the ONLY one that I ever had one with.... But the only way that I have one is when I take charge LOL....And he does ALL the right things.. I just have to be the one to do it... Sorry if TMI..... Just being honest!
agreed! i don't o very easy..only when im in charge and it doesn't happen every time..but it all honestly our sex life is awesome anyway so it really doesn't matter to me at all! i still love it and him anyway even if i don't o!!
Oh, I am soooo glad that I am NOT the only one!!!! And I agree with you as well... I do think its important but not the most important thing, at least to me.... Our sex life has DIED down since we had a baby... I have no drive anymore But when we do it (not ALOT but enough), its the BEST!
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: A controversial sex question
Posted by Songstress
She needs to get the rabbit, put on a dirty flick, and get to work. She has to know her own body before she can have one with FH!
lol very true! i love that thing!!!!!!! fh just needs to get batteries..lol
xXxNovember08xXx
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Re: A controversial sex question
Posted by Bride 2 Be
Posted by Songstress
She needs to get the rabbit, put on a dirty flick, and get to work. She has to know her own body before she can have one with FH!
lol very true! i love that thing!!!!!!! fh just needs to get batteries..lol
thats true though... until I Knew what it felt like did i kno what it felt liek with someone else...
i woudl have her experiment with herself alone then she can see how she can then get there with her partner...
additionally i think emotional and sexual are both important but sexual is not for me the do all and end all. JMO only bc i have had highly sexual relationships but not emotionally satisified and i looked elsewhere... it can happen either way...
jasminemichelle
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Re: A controversial sex question
Thank you everyone for your responses. I have to run out and pick up my little bro from a friend's house but I'll be back later tonight. I'm having lunch with my friend on Wed so I'll talk to her about it then I guess.
I know she's happy with her relationship or she wouldn't be marrying her FH, so I wasn't sure if I should just let this slide since it doesn't seem to be that big of a deal to her. Maybe I'll propose a trip to a sex shop (although I'm a bit intimidated by that to be honest) or find some other way to bring this up without totally embarrassing her or making her feel terrible.
I was also torn because she doesn't know what she's missing out on now, but maybe if she gets Os from a toy and not from her FH she'll want to leave him and sleep with other guys who can? I wouldn't want to be the one who somehow sabotages their relationship.
be back later.....
SoontobeMrsH
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Member since
Re: A controversial sex question
Posted by jasminemichelle
I went out to dinner with my bridesmaids tonight and we had an interesting convo... one of my BMs (A) just got engaged to her HS sweetheart this fall, but we just found out she's never had an O.
One of my other BMs (B) thinks sex is one of the most important parts of a relationship and has dumped guys before for not measuring up.... she said she would never let a relationship get to the point where she'd consider marrying the guy if he wasn't... skilled.
However, A's FH was her first. They dated for 2 years before they slept together so she was already pretty emotionally invested at that point. To be honest we were both really shocked because they've been sleeping together for the past 3+ years.
She claims to be OK with it since she loves her FH and says the sex isnt that impt to her.... but I don't know if I could do the same thing.
If you had an otherwise awesome relationship with FH but were never able to O.... would you still marry him? I'd like to think I would but I don't know...
She feels the way she does since she doesn't know what she is missing
bemyyoko
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Re: A controversial sex question
that's what vibrators are for.
honestly, i watch a lot of 'REAL SEX' on HBO the show..not porn hahaha
and A LOT of women, NEVER have an 'O' no matter who they sleep with. some women just can't. so if she's been with him for so long, and loves him... i see no reason for her not to be okay with it.
you know?
jeanne08
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Re: A controversial sex question
Posted by Smiley7092
Maybe she should talk to him about not having an O. Maybe they just have to try new things. I don't think sex is the MOST important thing in a relationship but ya do need it!
I agree they need to talk about it. Not jsut to talk abou t'it' but also you need to keep the lines of comunication open, you should be able to talk to each other about EVERYTHING!
Soon2beAlberti
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Re: A controversial sex question
honestly...FH and I don't have sex often at all...we are having it somewhat more often than in the past but there were times we went more than a month without it and we were both fine...and even with dry times like that...every time wasn't explosive but it was still great because it was an emotional connection. I think I could deal without the big O. maybe she just needs to let go and give in to her imagination a little, get creative.
ETA: I just wanted to add that its not always about the big finish...as long as there is passion there...i think your friend and her FH will be just fine.
SherinJeff
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Re: A controversial sex question
She doesnt care because she doesnt know what she is missing. She is young and in love..
I was with my husband since we were 17.. I never had an O. I was with a few other guys and never had one as well. I enjoyed sex and chalked it up to ' oh well no big' Eventually... it does become a big deal and gets boring when your partner is experiencing this great thing every time and you are there for the ride. Fast foward.. I met my BF 2 1/2 years ago... he was 45, I was 38. We had a very very open communication. He knew I never had an O and he was on a mission to find out why and make it happen! We had very good sex...but nothing. Thats when he took me to a sex store. We got a toy that goes over the guy and has a bullet . I dont want to be tooooo graphic or personal but it did the job. !! I needed different kind of stimulation to get me there... Now, I know!!! It can still take me a while to get there but now I know I can! And my guy feels like a superhero! LOL
Wifeynella
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Re: A controversial sex question
i dont think its the guy as much as she needs to figure out for herself how to O. then she can talk him thru the same process.
sex is a huge part of the relationship to me but if everything else is good and they are at least having good sex and she can O herself - ii dont see a reason to leave.
the big L is more important than the big O
the future mrs m
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Re: A controversial sex question
I don't think that is the biggest thing ever but I also think that many women aren't familiar and comfortable with their own bodies. If you don't know how to 'please' yourself, you can't expect your man to please you.
