A List B List

nrvbrd Posted: Nov 14, 2002 02:22 PM

A List B List

Hi.

I think we touched on this before, but what are everyones thoughts on having an A list and B List?

Is it tacky?

At first I was contemplating it, but now I am unsure, because I feel it is going to cause alot of confusion and hurt feelings.

My FI wants to do it .

Please give me your opinions.

Thanks.

Crisco718 Posted: Nov 14, 2002 02:34 PM

Re: A List B List

This is a necessity for us. We can not afford to invite everyone, but if people can not come we still have to meet our minimums. I do not think that we will have enough people decline our invite so that we will need to go to the B list, but there are always more people I would like to invite.

MarcellaBella Posted: Nov 14, 2002 02:36 PM

Re: A List B List

Personally, I think it's a bit tacky.. FH and I both have a group of family and friends that talk, so word that the invitations went out will travel quick and you don't want to make anyone feel bad...

The only way I think this would work is if you had wanted to invite some people that you may have lost touch with over the years but could not afford to pay for the extra people and now that there are openings, you can do so..

but nonetheless, I would avoid it..

Jodi73 Posted: Nov 14, 2002 02:36 PM

Re: A List B List

I was just sent a 'B' list invite. The wedding is December 7th and the RSVP is for November 9th and I got the invitation on November 8th. I think that if you are going to have a 'B' list make sure that you send out the invitation before the RSVP date. Just my opinion.

Helene718 Posted: Nov 14, 2002 02:40 PM

Re: A List B List

I don't love the idea, but I will probably have a B list. I do plan on sending out the A list early, possible 10 weeks before the wedding instead of 8.

Claud2001 Posted: Nov 14, 2002 02:42 PM

Re: A List B List

I do not believe in A or B lists for a wedding. I think it is unnecessary. Regardless of the reason, I think that people can figure out that they are on the B List and feelings will get hurt. If someone is important enough to you that they'd make it onto a B list, than just invite them in the first place.

The law of averages dictates that 15-20% of your entire guest list will decline your invitation, purely b/c one day out of 365 per year is not going to be convenient for everyone. With that in mind, figure out if you'd still be able to work out inviting everyone that's currently on the list.

Helene718 Posted: Nov 14, 2002 02:51 PM

Re: A List B List

Claud - I totally agree with what you are saying, but unfortunately that 15-20% decline rate does not always work out. I have a friend who had a 40% decline rate! She was twenty people below her minimum. I think I'll change what I last said and say, that if I was below my minimum, I may go to a B list.

dsilvers Posted: Nov 14, 2002 03:07 PM

Re: A List B List

For financial reasons we must B list it. but the B list people will be comprised of those that don't know each other, etc. And we will send the B list out at the regular 4-6 week invite time. The A list will go three months in advance. That way there is plenty of time. I don't want people receiving the invite the day the RSVP is due. that's obvious and sort of rude. If you are going to B list, do it right.

Niecey Posted: Nov 14, 2002 03:28 PM

Re: A List B List

I planned on having one but for us it wound up not being practical. Wound up all our no's didn't come in until a week before the rsvp date.

We wound up inviting what we could afford and making cuts here and there.

Crisco718 Posted: Nov 14, 2002 03:30 PM

Re: A List B List

I understand what they say about the averages, but in my case 75-80% of the list is close family. I do not expect them to decline and based on talking to them they will be there. Just in case some can not make it, I would like to replace them with others. If I had unlimited money, I would just invite everyone.

ddunne23 Posted: Nov 14, 2002 04:03 PM

Re: A List B List

No B list for me! Either you're in or you're out!

christy Posted: Nov 14, 2002 04:38 PM

Re: A List B List

I am starting to realize that many people wont be attending our wedding, due to distance and the fact that it is easter weekend. So I am now creating a B list. I think it is something we have to do.

Latina511 Posted: Nov 14, 2002 05:57 PM

Re: A List B List

I definetly did the B list. It was great help. On the B list were those that we would like to invite but we are not that close with. I was told by the wedding planners in Chateau Briand that those that were not going usually respond first which I found to be true in my case. So I had enough time to send those invitations to the people on the B list without anybody getting hurt.

lulu Posted: Nov 14, 2002 07:27 PM

Re: A List B List

I'm doing a B list. We originally thought we were only having about 130 people, and we booked a hall that holds 150 max. Our list grew to about 170 and even though 20% probably won't come, I am only sending out 150 invites just incase. There will not be room to seat everyone if we don't get all of the expected no's. I'll have to wait until we get some no's to invite the rest of the people. I'm sending out the first set early so no one will know they are on the B list.