A little bummed and somewhat perturbed (longish mini-vent)

I'm from San Diego and FI is from LI, and while most of his family is in this area, mine is fairly split between San Diego and FL, and our college friends are all in CT. When it came time to decide where we would get married, it seemed pretty easy. He knew the bulk of his family wouldn't come to SD. I, on the other hand, thought a pretty good chunk of my close family (aunts and uncles included) would come to NY as we're all very close and they like to travel. Although San Diego would've been much cheaper, NY just made the most sense.

Now, with less than 8 months to go before the wedding, I'm finding fewer and fewer of my family are financially able to make the trip (we've been engaged almost a year, so lots of time to save). Now, it's not that I blame them, things happen and trips to NY can be very expensive, it's just that it makes me so sad to know they aren't going to be there.

In addition to that, I had originally booked 6/11 as our wedding date. After speaking with my aunt who is one of our readers, I found out her two kids (one in high school and one in elementary school) who I'm pretty close with wouldn't be out of school til 6/10. So, I made calls to my vendors and pushed the date back a week. They were all very excited to come and were planning this big vacation around the day. Now, I come to find that my uncle has been out of work and the only person who can come now is my aunt.

I feel like it's supposed to be my big day that I've always dreamed about, and when I walk up that aisle, my side of the seats are all going to be empty. Even our college friends were all his friends first (we met online and I moved to CT to go to school where he was already going). I don't mean to sound selfish, but it's so depressing.

Re: A little bummed and somewhat perturbed (longish mini-vent)

Hey Christine:

It was great to meet you and Joe briefly the other day.

Sorry you are sad about the fact that a lot of your family and friends may not be there.

Maybe you can do some kind of small party in San Diego either sometime shortly before the wedding or after. Maybe a bbq at a friends or relatives house but something to celebrate with the SD people that can't make it to NY.

Re: A little bummed and somewhat perturbed (longish mini-vent)

just be happy with the family members who can make it to the wedding... When people have totravel it can complicate things and then you run into the issue you are having...
FH has a MUCH bigger family than I do so I also think about how many of the guests will be on his side... but it doesn't matter b/c everyone is there to celebrate the unity of both families...

Re: A little bummed and somewhat perturbed (longish mini-vent)

I wish there was something I can say to make you feel better
I agree about doing something in SD
You could even renew your vows(you'd get to wear your beautiful dress twice)I know I wouldn't mind Maybe a backyard wedding? You could always have all 'your 'friends on LIWeddings show up to the church we'd be glad to help you out and it will save you money on the reception and your side of the church will probably have more people then you could handle
Good Luck Im sure I can say we wish you all the best!!

Re: A little bummed and somewhat perturbed (longish mini-vent)

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Posted by ShelliNMando

Hey Christine:

It was great to meet you and Joe briefly the other day.

Sorry you are sad about the fact that a lot of your family and friends may not be there.

Maybe you can do some kind of small party in San Diego either sometime shortly before the wedding or after. Maybe a bbq at a friends or relatives house but something to celebrate with the SD people that can't make it to NY.

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It was great meeting you and Armando too Michele, even if it was just for a minute! I was bummed at the time too - I had just found out that Duet had booked up between the time I emailed about the appointment and the time I got there. Their work was incredible!

Thanks everyone for your hugs and suggestions! We are planning on stopping in San Diego on the tail-end of our honeymoon to have the marriage blessed in the church I grew up in and to have a small reception at my grandmother's house. It will be a lot of fun and I'll probably wear my dress again. It's not quite the same, but it will still be a nice occasion!

Re: A little bummed and somewhat perturbed (longish mini-vent)

Your day will be beautiful and special to you and your FH no matter how many people show up. Try not to let it bum you out too much.

Re: A little bummed and somewhat perturbed (longish mini-vent)

I would have your relatives keep on checking prices for airfare and there are a lot of inexpensive hotels...you can tell them that their gift to you will just be attending the wedding. I would be so disappointed if that happened to me.