A vent

It depends - who's paying for the wedding? If you and FH are paying for the wedding, then you are the only ones who can insist on certain guests. I don't believe that if parents contribute that they can force their way, but they do have the right to suggest.

If you have valid reason to not include this person, you shouldn't have to. There is no good reason why you have to be uncomfortable at your own wedding.
Good luck.

Then if I were in your position, I would insist that this person not be included. Don't back down. I know that's tough to do though.

This is probably bad, but when I was in a similar positino, as it came down to having the envelopes printed, I conveniently forgot to include someone's address. They have no business being at my wedding. It's passive aggressive, but I had no other choice.

Im filipino and can totally understand the whole 'reputation' thing. If you truly do not want that person there then they shouldn't be. Is it a family member?? Can you try to reconcile before your wedding? I believe that you are the bride and that you should not be stressed about anything or anyone at your wedding. Its your day!! but I know it'll be hard to explain to your mother and to actually stay firm on it!! Good Luck!!
~Kim

since you and your FH are paying for it i would sit down with my mom and just tell her im sorry but we are paying and i DONT want them there, it is my day...its a very hard situation but if you really dont want them there its your day your money...hope it all works out

If you 2 are paying for it then I wouldnt back down on that one. PERIOD END OF THE STORY!!!
To be honest I dont think you need to explain yourself-though it will make the situation easier but just tell them-this is the way its going to be and why-Sorry so straight-having the same prob with FILs!!!

thanks

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Posted by espresso

I'm sorry, I know it's annoying to hear other people's probs all day long, but I need some advice.

My mom is adamantly forcing me to invite a certain person I don't want to invite (for a valid reason).

She's really concerned with her reputation & how bad it would look if we don't invite this person (it's an asian thing), but I don't want to back down.

What would you do?

Thanks

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I would not invite them. I'm sure that you reason is completely valid and that you aren't doing it because of some childish reason. There are 2 people that I have refused to invite to our wedding. One of them being my mother's sister. I come from a very Italian family where this usually would be a no-no. But I have stated for years (from the beginning of my teens, I am now 26) that I would not invite her. There have been just too many things she has done to my family and I cannot have someone I hate that much be there to share in the happiest day of my life. My FH and I are also paying for the wedding though that has been a fight with my parents also. they wanted to pay but I want to be able to do what I want and not have to hear that they are paying for it.

Sorry I rambled so much, but I understand what you are going through. Definitely do not invite that person if you feel that strongly about it!

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Posted by Missladybug15

if you are paying for it, then you get to decide who is coming and who is not, just try to explain to your mom your feelings on the matter

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word.