AAAHHH!!! Bridal Party VENT!!!!!

Well, my bridal party, FMIL, and my mom have been working on planning my surprise shower a lot lately. Apparently things are getting a little tense between them, and I can't stand it! I never thought I would have problems with these girls. ANd I can't even do anything about it because they really aren't telling me much so they can keep it a surprise. The thing that upsets me the most is that my MOM is getting the brunt of it all!!! My mom and I are very close, and she knows me the best out of all of them. I shouldn't have to get a call from my mom while I am at work with her crying on the other end because of how they are leaving her out of everything, and stepping on her decisions. SHe won't tell me much, because she doesn't want to ruin it for me, but I just don't think that if she buys the supplies to do something, that they should totally change her idea and do it another way. When she said that she thinks I would like it 'this way' they say 'no' and do it the way they want to. I know it's hard to understand without the actual example, but no one will tell me anything until after my shower. I'm sorry this is so long, but I hate to see my mom so upset when she means the most to me out of all of them. I don't know what to do, because she doesn't want me to say anything....she just said that she will tell them all off (including FMIL) after the shower. Now I know how difficult they all can be, I just can't believe that they are stepping on 'the Bride's' mother!!!
Thanks for listening

sounds very familiar!!!

I am dealing with this too

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Posted by DD628

sounds very familiar!!!

I am dealing with this too

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IT $UCK$

That stinks! Your Mom is your Mom and should absolutely have a say in what happens.

Poor Mom, hope they start treating her better.

That is HORRIBLE!! I'm really sorry but IMO I think that you should step in and say something. Even though you don't know the details it is COMPLETELY unacceptable for anybody to make your mom upset, let alone cry. They are totally out of line and I don't think there's anything wrong with you letting them know it.

If I was in your shoes, I would calmly call my MIL or go there and tell her that you've overheard some things that are making you very uncomfortable and you would appreciate it if she would step in on your behalf and put an end to the nonsense. You must demand that they respect your mother. This is a time for love and celebration. It really makes me mad how everybody thinks they are the mayor and have a right to dictate to everyone else how it should be done.

Your poor mom! You must be so distraught over this. I'm so sorry to hear about this. Unfortunately, this seems to be very common.

I am in a very similar situation, but my MOH is getting the brunt of it! She cant tell me too much, but my FMIL is one of the main problems, and my FSIL is also! Makes me so angry that my best friend, who lives in Boston, has to plan everything, and is doing it in NYC or somewhere around here. Everyone from LI is complaining about traveling to the city, when all of my bridal party is coming from Boston and my mom from Pittsburgh and other friends from other states and none of them have a problem!

I feel for you totally! I cant say anything either, cause Im not supposed to know. Even though I dont know where or when it is!

Silly bridal parties! I am sure everything will work out!!!

your mom is nicer than mine b/c my mom would have told them where they all could go.

she needs to stand up for herself and the rest of them really need to realize she is your mother and would they want others to treat THEIR mom that way.

im sorry for both of you!

Thanks everyone! I think I am going to talk to my mom more when I get home tonight and see how we can fix this without making her feel uncomfortable. I will let you all know what happens. Thanks again girls!

Oh man this totally *****!!

This happened to me when I was MOH in my friends wedding in May. The girls fought me on everything, didn't like my ideas, but then didn't want to come up with their own and basically ignored me at the shower. It was hard for me and I felt bad because my friend knew something was going on and I didn't want to bother her with the issues.

I don't know why girls do this, but maybe if you talk to your mom and help her understand the girls (after all they're your friends) and then she can talk to the most reasonable one, get one girl to see her point of view and maybe help her out with the other girls.

Hope everything works out!!