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Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

Riss44 Posted:

Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

MayBride06 Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

Pick the dress that you want and remeber do not stress about pleasing everyone! It will not happen and this is just the beginning of many things that will not please others! Be strong and go for the dress that you really want!

Kiddo115 Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

WOW.. some set on them.. sorry, I should choose my words more carefully

But honestly, who goes to try on bridesmaid dresses without the BRIDE?! Especially if the bride is out of the loop, and totally unaware. If they had been going out of kindness to scope out some prospects or idea to share with you, maybe. But to purposely go (with your FI~ ) and check the dress that you like only to also choose a few more that they like better?! It's not their choice ultimately, and they should be honored that they were even asked to be a part of your day. I swear, stuff like this makes me crazy. I am so sorry for you, as I too have been battling demon-maids (mainly my sister!) and you get to the point where you want to just throw in the towel and let them pick everything so you don't have to hear it. But don't do it!! Stick to your guns.. and choose the dress you and your MOH's love.. and the rest of them? well... you can just imagine what I would tell them to do
Jen2999 Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

IM sorry but that is APALLING. What does FI say about this?? How is he justifying going without you??!!!???

beatle06 Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

Sorry sweetie! YES you have a right to be mad.. and even if they were the biotch's and went with out you, you'd think your FI would have picked up the phone and let you know.. Ultimately this is YOUR day, and you are the 'boss' pick what you like, and as others have said you can't please everyone.. good luck.. let us know how it goes!

Kris516 Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

I agree with the girls - pleasing everyone is never going to happen! I have 12 BMs , and we did the same thing - just me and the MOHs went shopping. I showed the rest some of our final selections, and got less than stellar reactions from some, but F#$ck it - I LOVE THE DRESS, and so do my two MOHs, and that's all that counts!

B/C your FI is man, he is not aware of wedding etiquette, and prob assumes that you want the free world's advice! I would calmly tell him, and his family, that you really have your heart set on the dresses you chose Monday, and hope they all come to love it like you do.

GOOD LUCK!
Goldi1021 Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

You have every right to be angry as hell. Here's what I'd do, gather up his groomsmen and shop for tuxes. Put them all in powder blue with ruffled shirts and bow ties that spin with boutenierres that squirt water!


Im wondering. I went to the Bridal Reflections in Carle Place and they distinctively have a sign that forbids men and children (though lately it is hard to distinuish between the two) to go past a certain point in the store. I dont know if you went there or Massapequa but if they let him in I'd be mad too.
CalJoe0124 Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

I am so sorry to hear this, hang in there, sounds very frustrating! You have to do what you want but I would also talk to FH and see how he feels.
Hang in!
kissy27 Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this! I would be livid also! I can't believe that your FH thought it would be ok to take them to see the dresses without telling you! That is just not cool!

Like others have said, ultimately it is your choice & no one else's. Being part of a bridal party is a HUGE honor & people should really keep their opinions to themselves! I brought my MOH with me to pick her dress & then we based the BM dresses on that! I asked for opinions but regardless of what they were, I was set that this was the dress! So stick to your guns & get what you want no matter what they think! Don't let anyone else have control over your day!
hmpena Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

You have EVERY right to be livid! You had enough respect for these women to ask them to be in your wedding party and what they did is not respectful.

You definitely shoudl express your feelings to your FI. Otherwise, the situation is only going to get worse. Don't let these women bully you into getting the dress they want. It's YOUR wedding and they should wear the dress you want. Hold your ground!!
Steph62406 Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

OMG I would be so MAD!!!! They have no choice but to wear the dress that you like, you are the bride. That is just so rude!!!!

I wouldn't be so mad at your FI, It sounds like he got suckered in by the woman in his family. Good Luck.
kellwolfe Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

Honey i would be completely upset too! Pick the dress that you want and if someone doesnt like it OH WELL - its your wedding honey!

Jennie0898 Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

Posted by kellwolfe

Honey i would be completely upset too! Pick the dress that you want and if someone doesnt like it OH WELL - its your wedding honey!



I agree 100%!!!
KarAnthony Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

They are not shopping for a dress to go to a wedding, they are IN a wedding.

You can say to them and FI (when you are relaxed) that you appreciate their suggestions, but that you have decided that the girls will be wearing 'x' dress in 'y' color.

They have a lot of nerve, I bet they aren't married yet and haven't gone through this before!
itslaurie. Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

if you wanted to put a positive spin on it, i think its nice that your fi wants to be so involved in the planning.

mbm750 Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

I would very upset if I were you too. And, I'd probably put my foot down on the dress I liked best. It's one day, and it's your day - NOT theirs - and they can suck it up. We've all done it before too - I had to wear a dress I hated, did I ever complain? No - because it wasn't my decision and I was just glad to be involved in my friend's wedding. As much as I think it's important to try to accomodate tastes and body shapes, etc., you can only go so far and you'll never please everyone, so I've decided to stop trying. And, how they're going about this is RUDE! I'm appalled - it's very underhanded and unnecessary.

iffer042373 Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

I would be upset and I would go with the dress that you like its your wedding and I bet if it was their wedding they wouldn't care what you liked so I woulldn't care

Now as forthem all going with your FH thats just wrong

ETA: but maybe he would be able to convince them to like one of the dresses you picked out
Kim51103 Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

Wow....im soo sorry! its your wedding, you should pic the dress!!! Second...you the BRIDE! Everytime someone went to get a dress or even LOOK..i was there....you should have a say...thats nuts...im sooo sorry!!!

Pookiesangel Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

Sorry!! I know how you feel, everyone has an opinion but what I have learned is this.. as Lady Princess always states...

YOUR DAY! YOUR WAY!!

As for FH, I don't know what I'd do.. but you need to calm down a little before you talk to him because when you say things in anger you usually say something you don't really mean..

blueyes678 Posted:

Re: Absolutely LIVID...need advice!!

Posted by hmpena

You have EVERY right to be livid! You had enough respect for these women to ask them to be in your wedding party and what they did is not respectful.

You definitely shoudl express your feelings to your FI. Otherwise, the situation is only going to get worse. Don't let these women bully you into getting the dress they want. It's YOUR wedding and they should wear the dress you want. Hold your ground!!


I totally agree!!!

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