Addressing Guests who are in the Armed Forces

Ok so if you have any guests who are in the army (or other armed forces) did you use their titles on the invite envelope?

FH's cousins are in the Army and we had just done:

Mr. & Mrs. XXX XXXXXX (both husband and wife in army)

and then

Mr. XXXX XXXXXX (other cousin, also in the army)

Now my mom is questioning...are we supposed to do it differently? I don't know what their ranks are....

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Posted by lwny427

Proper etiquette is to address them by their rank so Lt. Smith instead of Mr. Smith. But if you don't know their rank, there really is no way to do that. If you can find their rank out in time, go for it. If not, just stick with mr./Ms. I don't think they'll be bothered by it.

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Yeah that's what I was thinking....we'll see what FH says, they are his cousins after all!

Also, any insight on married people who are both in the army?

Like Lt. and Lt.? (if that was their rank)?

The envelopes should be addressed to include their ranks. Professional titles are included on invitations (armed forces, judges, elected officials, doctors), but education titles shouldn't (lawyers). C'mon, they're going to be with you on one of the milestones of your life. Shouldn't they receive an invitation addressed to their proper names?

For the couple that are both in the armed forces, the woman should be listed separately with her title. If she outranks him, she should be listed first. If he outranks her, he should be listed first (this is one of the rare occasions when a woman is listed separate from a man and her name is second).

If he outranks her (assuming they have the same last name):

Outer: General John Smith and Sargeant Jane Smith
Inner: General Smith and Sargeant Smith

If he outranks her (same last name):

Outer: General Jane Smith and Sargeant John Smith
Inner: General Smith and Sargeant Smith

If they have the same rank (same last name):

Outer: Sargeant Jane Smith and Sargeant John Smith
Inner: The Sargeants Smith

For the couple where the man is in the armed services (assuming same last name):

Outer: Sargeant and Mrs. John Smith
Inner: Sargeant and Mrs. Smith