My mom and I just had an argument about this subject. I have a few same sex couples invited to my wedding. My mom says they should each have their own invite because its 'not proper' to put them on the same invite.
I think that if theyre a couple then they share an invitation, for ex. Mr. John Smith & Mr. Jack Brown, since this is what is done with married couples.
Mom thinks that having both names on one invite is 'outting' them (to whom? i dunno the f..ing mailman? they live together jeez)
I think it's insulting them by stating that their love or 'coupleness' is less than it is.
ANY THOUGHTS ON THIS???
nmagel
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
I am sending one invite w/ both names on it.
milana
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
i think it would be insulting to send them individually to each person. I would definitly put both of their names on one invitation especially since they live together.
nifheim
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
Put both names on.. its insulting to do it otherwise.
magbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
I agree---put both names on the envelope like you would with any other couple.
cindyandkevin
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
I would mail them one invitation addressed to the both of them. Tell mom you'll be saving a stamp that way!!
I would write it: Mr. John Doe Mr. Joseph Smith (or Ms. if they're female, of course!)
felicita
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
Totally agree with all of these smart women above me!
LaurenluvsTJ
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
I mailed one invitation with both names. It said Mr. Jack Smith and Mr. John Jones
rkl1130
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
My cousin is gay and is a long-term relationship. I will be sending them out one invitation with both names on it. I think it might be so much ruder to each send them separate ones.
Lemons
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
I have a few same sex couples which are getting invites as well. I sent ONE invitation with both names on it.
Miss whatever Miss whatever Then followed by the address
AeroJenn
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
We did the same thing -- one invite with both names. It would be incredibly insulting to the couple to send seperate invitations!
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
I had to do the same and I sent one invite with both their names
alison1daland
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
One invite with both names, unless you know that they are not 'out' to everyone, or are sensitive about their 'situation'. i know a few couples who are weird like this, and would not appreciate both names on one invite. (certainly not on the outside of th envelope, anyway...)
I agree---put both names on the envelope like you would with any other couple.
I agree. They're a couple, why should they be addressed any differently!
jenn122397
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
i have a guest like that - on my e-part invitation we wrote: Mr. so and so and (partner's name)
shortylin3
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
ok...here's the deal --
unfortunately, i will sound redundant, but i too believe that there should be one and only one invite for the same-sex couple living together. i believe that if i got an invitation to someone's wedding and my fiancee got a separate invite i would be insulted...it's as if the bride and groom aren't recognizing my relationship. I understand that you don't need someone to validate your relationship, but seriously, this is the 21st century -- your mom (whoever she may be :-P) needs to get with the times and realize that if people are in a homosexual relationship...THEY'RE ALREADY 'OUT'!!
....you better clear this crap up now so i don't have to deal with it for my wedding...
(btw...chatxleau is my sister )
ant n tilde
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
I would put Ms Jane Smith Ms Jenny Doe
However, i think it may be Miss? I am not sure - some people hate Miss. . .
ssiegel23
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
My FH's Uncle is gay and has been in a long term relationship...we sent one invitation with both their names addressed on the envelope....If you send them separate invitations it's like saying they aren't a couple...if it was a hetero couple living together I'm sure you would send 1 invitation with both their names on it...this shouldn't be different.
Hopefully your mom agrees with you in the end!
PeteysBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
We are actually having 3 same sex couples at our wedding so we went through this. I agree with the other ladies. Moms are from another generation and time pretty much, so it can sometimes be awkward. My dad's own brother is gay and he is having a hard time with the fact his brother's 'friend' will be coming to the wedding. Told him he had to deal because it would be rude not to invite him since they have been together for ages.
We did it for christmas cards too; FH's sister is gay and they are a little odd about addressing things so to be cute and make them feel more comfortable with the fact we dont care if they are gay or polka dotted-they are just our family- we addressed their envelope with a combo of both names; they got a kick out of it.
Keep in mind, some same-sex couples might decline or one partner might if the other guest is a family member and like in our case, knows certain relatives do not approve. That is their decision, but you do not want to be rude. You did the right thing.
0707Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples
Posted by chatxleau24
My mom and I just had an argument about this subject. I have a few same sex couples invited to my wedding. My mom says they should each have their own invite because its 'not proper' to put them on the same invite.
I think that if theyre a couple then they share an invitation, for ex. Mr. John Smith & Mr. Jack Brown, since this is what is done with married couples.
Mom thinks that having both names on one invite is 'outting' them (to whom? i dunno the f..ing mailman? they live together jeez)
I think it's insulting them by stating that their love or 'coupleness' is less than it is.
