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Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

Original post by chatxleau24

My mom and I just had an argument about this subject. I have a few same sex couples invited to my wedding. My mom says they should each have their own invite because its 'not proper' to put them on the same invite.

I think that if theyre a couple then they share an invitation, for ex. Mr. John Smith & Mr. Jack Brown, since this is what is done with married couples.

Mom thinks that having both names on one invite is 'outting' them (to whom? i dunno the f..ing mailman? they live together jeez)

I think it's insulting them by stating that their love or 'coupleness' is less than it is.

ANY THOUGHTS ON THIS???

Mandyin2007 Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

I would write it out like any other couple.

robinandjoe Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

I am putting both of their names, with FH's aunts name first, followed by her gf. FMIL though that was a bad idea and wanted me to write Ms. soandso & Family. But I made the arguement that we are not inviting a whole family, just a couple. It was pulling teeth to get her to give me the girl's damn last name!

queenb07 Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

I mailed one invitation with both names. It said
Mr. Jack Smith and Mr. John Jones


That's exactly what I did. I treated same sex couples just like married couples with different last names: Mr. Jack Smith and Mrs. Jane Jones or Mr. Jack Smith and Mr. John Jones.
Kara and Todd Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

I totally agree - one invite with both names on it, especially if they are living together. It would be insulting to do it any other way, IMHO.

NovemberBride07 Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

Posted by nmagel

I am sending one invite w/ both names on it.


I'm doing the same thing.....it would be an insult otherwise.
petunia77 Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

i agree with all above, except i used 'ms' for the several couples we invited to your wedding.

faithandkevin Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

I wrote:
Mr. James XXX and Mr. Daniel XXX

I didn't write:
Mr James XXX
Mr. Danny XXX
someone suggested that but I feel it's insulting to them
CrisiDrue Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

Posted by chatxleau24

My mom and I just had an argument about this subject. I have a few same sex couples invited to my wedding. My mom says they should each have their own invite because its 'not proper' to put them on the same invite.

I think that if theyre a couple then they share an invitation, for ex. Mr. John Smith & Mr. Jack Brown, since this is what is done with married couples.

Mom thinks that having both names on one invite is 'outting' them (to whom? i dunno the f..ing mailman? they live together jeez)

I think it's insulting them by stating that their love or 'coupleness' is less than it is.

ANY THOUGHTS ON THIS???




I read somewhere that it is proper to put them both on the same invite, and they should be listed alphabetically by last name. Hope this helps!
cds58019 Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

If they live together then I would put both of their names on one. If not, then I would send one to each. This is how I would do it for a guy/girl relationship too.

Goldi1021 Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

I invited a cousin to my wedding who had a long term partner. One took the other's last name. The invitation was addressed:

The Messrs. Jones.

'Messr.' is the plural form of Mr. or Mister

Had they not done that, they still would have been invited on one invitation as they are a couple living together just like many of our heterosexual guests were.
lipglossjunky73 Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

Our best man and his longtime partner were on the same invite - that would be terrible to send them separate invites - that would not be acknowledging them as a couple!!!

So, we did - Mr. James ____ and Mr. Jeff ____

Always always always put all couples on the same invite!

jeanla4c Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

I sent one invite to same-sex couples with both names on it, they are a couple, living together (and one's wedding we attended the year after ours!)

evnme Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

i have an aunt who has a partner.
we put both of their names on the invite.
we put my aunt's name first.

Ms. Jane Doe
Ms. Elizabeth Smith
October Bliss Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

As each bride or bride-to-be has said before me . . . both names go on the envelope.

In my case the only question I had was whose name goes first, and for that I put the name of the gentlemen I knew best first.
weddingbunny Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

I agree that sending two invites would be rude and discounting their relationship.

Same etiquette applies as for any other couple. One invite, both names on the envelope. I agree - who is it going to upset? People who are actually in same sex relationships seriously enough to be invited somewhere as a couple are generally not 'in the closet' anymore... what is this, high school?
Pencils Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

I read somewhere that it is proper to put them both on the same invite, and they should be listed alphabetically by last name. Hope this helps!

I believe the really proper way to do it is to list the younger person first. But if you have no idea, alphabetical is the way to go.
N.Y.bride Posted:

Re: Addressing Invites for Same-sex Couples

Posted by milana

i think it would be insulting to send them individually to each person. I would definitly put both of their names on one invitation especially since they live together.


I agree! Especially if you KNOW they are a couple.

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