Addressing Questions

I am second guessing myself here so I thought I would ask you ladies what you are doing:

1. VERY recent widows...
Mrs. Jon X
or
Mrs. Jane X

2. Long time widows...same question as above
(that sounds really wrong to say but I could not think of a nicer way)

also when addressing an invitation to a couple who is not married but lives together and they are being invited because of the woman, would her name go on the envelope and on the inner would her name go first?

Hey Deb....For the widows you can do either.

As for couples living together,if they are engaged write it out to both,if just dating them the female on the front and both names on the inside

Her name should go first