So sometimes i start thinking to myself that I dont know where FH stands on some important issues...not anything that we couldnt talk about when it came up and work it out but out of the blue, i just thought to myself that i dont know how he feels about adoption if God Forbid we ever had a problem conceiving. (I know i currently dont have any issues and he doesnt so this was totally random but i still wanted to bring it up cuz you just never know).
Well anyway, i brought it up and i was surprised to hear that he didnt really like the idea of it. I was actually a little upset because I would personally totally go for it if we needed to do so. But ok, thats his view point but then he didnt even want to talk about why he felt that way so i got more upset. This was about a month or so ago and i never brought it up again cuz i feel at this time, its not necessary but am i being over sensitive for being bothered by his lack or interest to talk about it or the fact that we didnt agree in the first place.
Also, how do you feel about it and how does FH?
eta: i hope noone takes offense to this. actually his mom was adopted and so is one of he sisters, btw
AngnShaun
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Re: Adoption
I have never spoken to him about it... but I dont see any reason why he would be against it...
what did your FH say about it other than not liking the idea of adoption
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: Adoption
We have honestly never discussed the possibility of adoption if there were issues conceiving naturally.
However, we do know what we want for the future and if adoption were a possibility, I certainly think FH and I would go that route. Possibly being foster parents also.
jme78
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Re: Adoption
I've discussed this a lot with FH. I have a very strong fear of not being able to conceive, and if that is the case, we will totally adopt!
I think adoption is beautiful, but can be difficult and expensive, so we will try the natural route first!
brittndave
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Re: Adoption
if we couldn't have our own children i would be all up for it. i've never talked to fh about it so i don't really know his position on it!
as for your fh, it sounds like a sensitive topic so i wouldn't bring it up again unless you have to. his opinion could change completely if that was your only option for children! i wouldn't get too upset about it
JayBee216
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Re: Adoption
We're totally down for adopting, but not like Angelina & Brad. Prob just one.
ETA: I bet if it came down to it, and you couldn't conceive naturally, he would be into adoption. I think sometimes guys needs to be actually faced with a real situation, not a 'what if' scenario, you know?
Clover23
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Re: Adoption
FH is in favor of adopting if we have trouble conceiving... I'm going to post a spinoff so I don't hijack your thread!
BriansWifey
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Re: Adoption
we've never spoken about it either but im gonna bring it up to see what he says..
Future Mrs H
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Re: Adoption
Until we both decided that we were not going to have children we talked about this. As some of you may know FH was adopted and he was all for it, we both were. But after talking about it we decided on not having children at all.
latinaj
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Re: Adoption
we have discussed it and will do it if we can't conceive..for some weird reason i have a gut feeling that i cant have babies
mzmahagony
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Re: Adoption
I always wanted to adopt kids but FH said thathe doesnt want to because he wants his kids to have his DNA but after I went over my reasons he was fine with it......
halfbaked
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Re: Adoption
That would upset me, too. I understand that it's not something you need to address now and maybe he just feels that it won't be necessary, which we all hope is true! I bet if it came down to adopting or not having children at all (or possibly putting you at risk by using all different types of medical procedures to conceive) he'd change his tune really quick.
But I think adoption is a beautiful thing and I would absolutely LOVE to adopt. FH agrees with me 100% and even talked about adopting even if we could conceive because in his words 'it's just about the best thing you could ever do for another person.' And I so agree! We want to have at least one kid the old fashioned way and then I think we will look into adopting.
JAAMS
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Re: Adoption
Hmmm it sounds like maybe there is something that happened or that he knows of that has put him in a stance against adoption? Or maybe he just doesn't want to think about not being able to have your own? It doesn't sound like it's anything against you though. I'd let it go for awhile, and if that situation comes, bring it up again. Or maybe he'll just open up when he's ready to talk.
I have discussed adoption w/ FH... not in case we can't get pregnant (I honestly never thought of that...which I really should,) but in addition to giving birth. He def isn't as crazy about it as me, but it's because he does want kids, but he isn't really ready to start talking about REALLY having them yet.
CarolAnn721
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Re: Adoption
FH was adopted and we have discussed in detail on many occasions how he feels about adoption. Would like like to have children (if God permits) and adopt as well if we can swing it.
Who knows what the future holds. We will just wait and see.
regy_k
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Re: Adoption
FH said no way.
I used to be all for it, now I'm not so sure.
BUT, if this was our only option I totally would adopt.
AdriandSteve
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Re: Adoption
Fh and I have talked about this alot since i'm adopted. It's weird but I have no need to physically have my own children. If it were up to me i'd adopt 2/3 and call it a day. FH says no way though lol. 1 is the $ aspect (avg adoption is like $50k now!) 2 is the typical guy thing.. he has to spread his seed and have his own. Whatever
I agree with the $ aspect of it 100%. So i think we're going to have 1 or 2 of our own and if $ is available adopt a 3rd from Mexico or Columbia.
Have you guys had precana yet and discussed all of this there? I think it's hard for some guys to realistically talk about something like this now since it's not relevant. I wouldn't be concerned though unless he outright said he 100% hated the idea and would NEVER even consider it.
RGEC47
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Re: Adoption
Posted by latinaj
we have discussed it and will do it if we can't conceive..for some weird reason i have a gut feeling that i cant have babies
Same here. Well we have been trying for over a year and nothing. FH is not very fond of adoption, but he said that he would do anything to make me happy, and if adopting a child would make me happy he would do it.
ETA: Don't worry girl, you never know!
MrsSoto
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Re: Adoption
thanks girls!! you just brought up a good point that i didnt think about. guys DO need a real life situation many times to really make a decision. i didnt think about that. maybe the reason he didnt want to talk any further about it too was because he didnt even have real reasons but his initial reaction was to say, no.
NanandEric08
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Re: Adoption
I never actually talked to FH about this. I don't think he would be against it if we weren't able to conceive naturally but I guess this is something we should talk about.
little j
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Re: Adoption
we have talked about this. FH is fine w it. i am a bit more hesitant to be honest. its one thing if the baby is a newborn. but a lot can happen in those first few years of life, and im not sure how OK i am with not being part of it and, worse, not even knowing what happened......
