So as most of u know i am having a destination wedding .... So its coming down to the nitty gritty and i am booking my place in about 3 months ....
So alot of my friends are asking me if im paying for their plane tickets or their hottel .... and i reply no ... and they are like well we arent rich how can u expect me to fly their blah blah blah ...
So my reply is you will have a yr to save up for it and i you are getting a discount for going to my wedding!
I am planning a full day of activities the day after the wedding ( jet ski , scuba diving , swimming with dollphins '( they pick what they want to do ) for the ppl who are goin ... i think thats good enough
I mean I am having a dw to save money if i wanted to spend all that money I would have the Jewish wedding I should have here in Brooklyn
I AM WRONG IN NOT PAYING FOR EVERYONE ..
BTW we are paying for our parents and my niece and nephew
AdriandSteve
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i think a destination wedding is great and having all those activities available is awesome and sounds like so much fun.
Realize though, with a destination wedding you can't assume that TONS of people are going to come. If it were me i can only picture my immediate immediate family to come and my closest friends...
they do have a year to save but right now things are really tight for people and a destination is a lot of $ for some people for flight, hotel, dress, gift. Also, are you paying for those activities for them or is that something additional for them?
DnT2010
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i dont think youre wrong for not paying for your guests, that would be way too costly. but you also have to understand with having a destination wedding... many people arent going to come. i understand what youre saying about them getting a discount vacation bc of your wedding. times are tough right now, especially if youre friends are young and dont have careers
i would have loved to have a destination wedding but i couldnt afford to pay for everyone and couldnt expect my guests to spend thousands to come to my wedding, bc it saved me money.
just underestand this is what youre going to have to deal with but in the end youre going to that the wedding you wanted.
Reymiliz
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Posted by AdriandSteve
i think a destination wedding is great and having all those activities available is awesome and sounds like so much fun.
Realize though, with a destination wedding you can't assume that TONS of people are going to come. If it were me i can only picture my immediate immediate family to come and my closest friends...
they do have a year to save but right now things are really tight for people and a destination is a lot of $ for some people for flight, hotel, dress, gift. Also, are you paying for those activities for them or is that something additional for them?
ITA .. i am not expecting alot of ppl i dont want alot of ppl there thats why we are doing a dw ... if we do it here we would have over 300 ppl at the wedding and we really cant afford that ... plus the ppl complaining have known since last yr ...
It will be for them they can chose whatever they want to do and we pay for it
KRISTIND
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do what you want its your day!!!!!......but maybe instead of a shower you can have a small 'party' here so those who can't make it can still celebrate with you
AdriandSteve
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Posted by Reymiliz
Posted by AdriandSteve
i think a destination wedding is great and having all those activities available is awesome and sounds like so much fun.
Realize though, with a destination wedding you can't assume that TONS of people are going to come. If it were me i can only picture my immediate immediate family to come and my closest friends...
they do have a year to save but right now things are really tight for people and a destination is a lot of $ for some people for flight, hotel, dress, gift. Also, are you paying for those activities for them or is that something additional for them?
ITA .. i am not expecting alot of ppl i dont want alot of ppl there thats why we are doing a dw ... if we do it here we would have over 300 ppl at the wedding and we really cant afford that ... plus the ppl complaining have known since last yr ...
It will be for them they can chose whatever they want to do and we pay for it
thats cool then. As long as you realize it i think it's a great idea. And no.. your not wrong for not paying for your friends to come. IMO.. i might just pay for my moh and bm in addition to the parents and ur neice and nephew
stinenandy2010
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I don't think your wrong....I actually agree with Danielle 100%...while it is costly, your friends should understand you can't pay for everyone. I think planning a day of activities is nice and fun for them. But of course, understand that a lot of people won't come bc of the additional cost for them. Plus, I wouldn't expect any gifts....I've been to two destintation weddings and neither did I give a gift bc it cost me around $2k just to go to the wedding.
Reymiliz
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Posted by DnT2010
i dont think youre wrong for not paying for your guests, that would be way too costly. but you also have to understand with having a destination wedding... many people arent going to come. i understand what youre saying about them getting a discount vacation bc of your wedding. times are tough right now, especially if youre friends are young and dont have careers
i would have loved to have a destination wedding but i couldnt afford to pay for everyone and couldnt expect my guests to spend thousands to come to my wedding, bc it saved me money.
just underestand this is what youre going to have to deal with but in the end youre going to that the wedding you wanted.
yeah i understand .. the person complaining has loads of money .. lol and is just being difficu;lt i might not even invite her if she keeps annoying me ...
do you think i should give them a choice .. maybe say ill pay one night of you hotel or the activities ?
Reymiliz
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Posted by stinenandy2010
I don't think your wrong....I actually agree with Danielle 100%...while it is costly, your friends should understand you can't pay for everyone. I think planning a day of activities is nice and fun for them. But of course, understand that a lot of people won't come bc of the additional cost for them. Plus, I wouldn't expect any gifts....I've been to two destintation weddings and neither did I give a gift bc it cost me around $2k just to go to the wedding.
nah i dont want gifts ...i just want to have a great time and have the ppl i love the most there
AdriandSteve
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Posted by Reymiliz
Posted by DnT2010
i dont think youre wrong for not paying for your guests, that would be way too costly. but you also have to understand with having a destination wedding... many people arent going to come. i understand what youre saying about them getting a discount vacation bc of your wedding. times are tough right now, especially if youre friends are young and dont have careers
i would have loved to have a destination wedding but i couldnt afford to pay for everyone and couldnt expect my guests to spend thousands to come to my wedding, bc it saved me money.
just underestand this is what youre going to have to deal with but in the end youre going to that the wedding you wanted.
yeah i understand .. the person complaining has loads of money .. lol and is just being difficu;lt i might not even invite her if she keeps annoying me ...
do you think i should give them a choice .. maybe say ill pay one night of you hotel or the activities ?
I wouldn't give them a choice. If they see your going to bend on this they might think ur going to bend on other things too.
Reymiliz
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Posted by AdriandSteve
Posted by Reymiliz
Posted by DnT2010
i dont think youre wrong for not paying for your guests, that would be way too costly. but you also have to understand with having a destination wedding... many people arent going to come. i understand what youre saying about them getting a discount vacation bc of your wedding. times are tough right now, especially if youre friends are young and dont have careers
i would have loved to have a destination wedding but i couldnt afford to pay for everyone and couldnt expect my guests to spend thousands to come to my wedding, bc it saved me money.
just underestand this is what youre going to have to deal with but in the end youre going to that the wedding you wanted.
yeah i understand .. the person complaining has loads of money .. lol and is just being difficu;lt i might not even invite her if she keeps annoying me ...
do you think i should give them a choice .. maybe say ill pay one night of you hotel or the activities ?
I wouldn't give them a choice. If they see your going to bend on this they might think ur going to bend on other things too.
lol tru ... i cant be a softee ...
DnT2010
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personally, i wouldnt give them a choice for anything. i would design some sort of itinerary, like a welcome packet and ask the hotel to put in in each room and on it saw be here at this time to do this one specific activity as a group and as a way for you and FH to thank them for coming.
i actually saw an adorable STD that looked like a passport with accomodations, flight info, activities, rehearsal info, etc that was PERFECT for you.. im gonna try to find it...
omg that is too cute .. i had seen some ideas before but not as cute as this
Rosalind_75
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I am not a fan of destination weddings why do i need to spend money to go on vacation to watch a friend or family member get married? what if its a place i have no interest in going? is that fair? plus the cost can be crazy!!
the only time i go out of state for a wedding is if the person lives out of state. and i am there for 2nights tops.
jmo
sorry
Nina1010
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Posted by AdriandSteve
i think a destination wedding is great and having all those activities available is awesome and sounds like so much fun.
Realize though, with a destination wedding you can't assume that TONS of people are going to come. If it were me i can only picture my immediate immediate family to come and my closest friends...
they do have a year to save but right now things are really tight for people and a destination is a lot of $ for some people for flight, hotel, dress, gift. Also, are you paying for those activities for them or is that something additional for them?
I TA...times are hard, but I would def expect to have my closest loved ones there...at their expense. Esp if they knew for over a year and still have a year to save. It was something we considered. Perhaps instead of paying for their activities, a travel agent can hook you up on their flights or hotel stay. Let them just lounge on the beach, etc. Just a thought.
Either way, you are going to have the wedding you want. Enjoy it.
Those are awesome STDs. I have to pass these along to my friend who is planning one.
Reymiliz
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Posted by Rosalind_75
I am not a fan of destination weddings why do i need to spend money to go on vacation to watch a friend or family member get married? what if its a place i have no interest in going? is that fair? plus the cost can be crazy!!
the only time i go out of state for a wedding is if the person lives out of state. and i am there for 2nights tops.
jmo
sorry
you can have ur opinion thats fine .. thats the whole point of a dw ... if u care for me and r my true friend then ull be there ... .. if not then u wont ... simple .. i am also having a dw wedding becase i am avoiding inviting ppl who i dont like to my wedding and if i had a local one they would go .. plus ive always wanted to get married on the beach
Reymiliz
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Posted by Nina1010
Posted by AdriandSteve
i think a destination wedding is great and having all those activities available is awesome and sounds like so much fun.
Realize though, with a destination wedding you can't assume that TONS of people are going to come. If it were me i can only picture my immediate immediate family to come and my closest friends...
they do have a year to save but right now things are really tight for people and a destination is a lot of $ for some people for flight, hotel, dress, gift. Also, are you paying for those activities for them or is that something additional for them?
I TA...times are hard, but I would def expect to have my closest loved ones there...at their expense. Esp if they knew for over a year and still have a year to save. It was something we considered. Perhaps instead of paying for their activities, a travel agent can hook you up on their flights or hotel stay. Let them just lounge on the beach, etc. Just a thought.
Either way, you are going to have the wedding you want. Enjoy it.
yeah i think i am going to think about that ... i mean my close friends already know that i will help them if they need the help ...
TheLadyJ
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You have to be firm on this. Tell people you want a small event and you would love if they can be there but you understand if they cannot.
Also, be careful that alot more people than you bargain for may show up.
Fh's sister went to vegas, and told everyone that whomever wants to come can come. Next thing you know, she is entertaining 45 people for 3 days.
The people who you want to come, send them an invite with the details.
Everyone else, tell them sorry but this is what you and FH decided. Maybe look into having a BBQ or something when you come back.
Don't feel bad for doing what makes you happy. And DON'T be pressured into paying for other people to attend.
