Advice

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Posted by TheLadyJ

You have to be firm on this. Tell people you want a small event and you would love if they can be there but you understand if they cannot.

Also, be careful that alot more people than you bargain for may show up.

Fh's sister went to vegas, and told everyone that whomever wants to come can come. Next thing you know, she is entertaining 45 people for 3 days.

The people who you want to come, send them an invite with the details.

Everyone else, tell them sorry but this is what you and FH decided. Maybe look into having a BBQ or something when you come back.

Don't feel bad for doing what makes you happy. And DON'T be pressured into paying for other people to attend.

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thank you ... ... I dont think they will show up they dont agree with me and my bf getting married ((hes jewish in prican ) they would go if its local to gossip and talk S H IT .. but if it involves them spending money to go they wont lol

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Posted by Reymiliz

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Posted by Rosalind_75

I am not a fan of destination weddings
why do i need to spend money to go on vacation to watch a friend or family member get married?
what if its a place i have no interest in going?
is that fair?
plus the cost can be crazy!!

the only time i go out of state for a wedding is if the person lives out of state.
and i am there for 2nights tops.

jmo

sorry

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you can have ur opinion thats fine .. thats the whole point of a dw ... if u care for me and r my true friend then ull be there ... .. if not then u wont ... simple ..

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this part i dont agree with.
here is why.

fh best man(best friend) who got engaged 2weeks ago has just informed us he is getting married 3 weeks after us. in another state. a 3 day event and he wants fh to be in the wedding party
it is killing fh but he knows we wont be able to swing it
its not because we dont want to be a part of it
we just cant afford it.
even though it is a year away
between paying for our wedding and a mortgage.

My sister had a destination wedding in the Bahamas, it was beautiful! She decided that she wanted this type of wedding 6 months prior, so it was very hectic - we all had to make our travel arrangements, and luckily my parents helped me out with my airfare & hotel. My sister did not pay for anyones airfare. But, not a lot of her guests could make it - just too expensive and very short notice. My parents also threw them engagement party, which was nice since not everyone was able to make it. She was aware of that, and I think in total there were total of 30-40 guests. It was fun that we were all on vacation together, but my sister also had her honeymoon with all of us too! There was no schedule of activities, everyone pretty much went off on their own, just needed to be there for all wedding related stuff. But, that’s sounds like a fun idea, having a schedule of activities!

With her vendors it was just really hard to see what you got until you were down there, like photographer, music..etc. It wasn’t like it was here, but it could also be that she did all of this within 6 months. I am not really sure how that all works.

But, you are not wrong at all for not paying and you are giving everyone plenty of time too. Good Luck with everything!

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Posted by Rosalind_75

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Posted by Reymiliz

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Posted by Rosalind_75

I am not a fan of destination weddings
why do i need to spend money to go on vacation to watch a friend or family member get married?
what if its a place i have no interest in going?
is that fair?
plus the cost can be crazy!!

the only time i go out of state for a wedding is if the person lives out of state.
and i am there for 2nights tops.

jmo

sorry

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you can have ur opinion thats fine .. thats the whole point of a dw ... if u care for me and r my true friend then ull be there ... .. if not then u wont ... simple ..

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this part i dont agree with.
here is why.

fh best man(best friend) who got engaged 2weeks ago has just informed us he is getting married 3 weeks after us. in another state. a 3 day event and he wants fh to be in the wedding party
it is killing fh but he knows we wont be able to swing it
its not because we dont want to be a part of it
we just cant afford it.
even though it is a year away
between paying for our wedding and a mortgage.

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i dont think shes asking whether we agree or disagree about having a destination wedding, rather what she should or should not pay for.

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Posted by Rosalind_75

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Posted by Reymiliz

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Posted by Rosalind_75

I am not a fan of destination weddings
why do i need to spend money to go on vacation to watch a friend or family member get married?
what if its a place i have no interest in going?
is that fair?
plus the cost can be crazy!!

the only time i go out of state for a wedding is if the person lives out of state.
and i am there for 2nights tops.

jmo

sorry

---

you can have ur opinion thats fine .. thats the whole point of a dw ... if u care for me and r my true friend then ull be there ... .. if not then u wont ... simple ..

---

this part i dont agree with.
here is why.

fh best man(best friend) who got engaged 2weeks ago has just informed us he is getting married 3 weeks after us. in another state. a 3 day event and he wants fh to be in the wedding party
it is killing fh but he knows we wont be able to swing it
its not because we dont want to be a part of it
we just cant afford it.
even though it is a year away
between paying for our wedding and a mortgage.

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understood ... as i mentioned before I said would help out ppl that really needed it ... and if they cant make it then they cant im not going to be like ' IM NOT YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE BC UDIDNT GO TO MY WEDDING ' ... I would understand and move on ... to be honest with you the only person i need at my wedding is my FH ... everyone else is next

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Posted by DnT2010

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Posted by Rosalind_75

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Posted by Reymiliz

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Posted by Rosalind_75

I am not a fan of destination weddings
why do i need to spend money to go on vacation to watch a friend or family member get married?
what if its a place i have no interest in going?
is that fair?
plus the cost can be crazy!!

the only time i go out of state for a wedding is if the person lives out of state.
and i am there for 2nights tops.

jmo

sorry

---

you can have ur opinion thats fine .. thats the whole point of a dw ... if u care for me and r my true friend then ull be there ... .. if not then u wont ... simple ..

---

this part i dont agree with.
here is why.

fh best man(best friend) who got engaged 2weeks ago has just informed us he is getting married 3 weeks after us. in another state. a 3 day event and he wants fh to be in the wedding party
it is killing fh but he knows we wont be able to swing it
its not because we dont want to be a part of it
we just cant afford it.
even though it is a year away
between paying for our wedding and a mortgage.

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i dont think shes asking whether we agree or disagree about having a destination wedding, rather what she should or should not pay for.

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she shouldnt have to pay
but there is always a reason why someone wouldnt or couldnt pay

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Posted by gemini10

My sister had a destination wedding in the Bahamas, it was beautiful! She decided that she wanted this type of wedding 6 months prior, so it was very hectic - we all had to make our travel arrangements, and luckily my parents helped me out with my airfare & hotel. My sister did not pay for anyones airfare. But, not a lot of her guests could make it - just too expensive and very short notice. My parents also threw them engagement party, which was nice since not everyone was able to make it. She was aware of that, and I think in total there were total of 30-40 guests. It was fun that we were all on vacation together, but my sister also had her honeymoon with all of us too! There was no schedule of activities, everyone pretty much went off on their own, just needed to be there for all wedding related stuff. But, that’s sounds like a fun idea, having a schedule of activities!

With her vendors it was just really hard to see what you got until you were down there, like photographer, music..etc. It wasn’t like it was here, but it could also be that she did all of this within 6 months. I am not really sure how that all works.

But, you are not wrong at all for not paying and you are giving everyone plenty of time too. Good Luck with everything!

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thanks yeah .. i justthink it would be fun !!! lol and we decided this last yr in Aug so everyone knows to save they just dont know where it is yet

i dont think shes asking whether we agree or disagree about having a destination wedding, rather what she should or should not pay for.

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she shouldnt have to pay
but there is always a reason why someone wouldnt want to pay

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i appreciate the feedback its always good to see how other ppl think ...

lol weddings are an invonvenience for every1.. even guests.. wheather its a destination or 1 down the block.. u have to get an outfit.. guys have to pray their pants still fit.. etc etc..

so with that being said..
destination weddings are an even bigger inconvenience for people... BUT those who are suppppppper close to u willl do whatever it takes to be there. u have to develop RELALLLY THICK SKIN if u want a dest wedding. u cant get offended or sad if people dont come.

as for paying for their flights? uhmmm.. if u can, thats awesome.. but i wouldnt.

i would just fly those ppl ur already flying, have ur wedding. and when u get home have a party at a restaurant.

It was a lot of fun! After the wedding, we were all on vacation together - I was never on vacation with friends (well, my sisters) and family (besides my parents) at the same time. We had a great time.

It will all work out! You are giving everyone plenty of time, and if they cant make it - you know what to expect. The same as my sister, she din't expect everyone to make it, and she was very happy with the 30 that were there with her. I know she wished other family/friends could make it, but she understood that would happen with a DW.

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Posted by gemini10

It was a lot of fun! After the wedding, we were all on vacation together - I was never on vacation with friends (well, my sisters) and family (besides my parents) at the same time. We had a great time.

It will all work out! You are giving everyone plenty of time, and if they cant make it - you know what to expect. The same as my sister, she din't expect everyone to make it, and she was very happy with the 30 that were there with her. I know she wished other family/friends could make it, but she understood that would happen with a DW.

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thansk i know i will have fun ...
like i said before the only person i need there is my FH and thats it :)

I definitely think you don't have to pay. This was an issue Fh and I were having. We originally wanted to have a destination wedding, but we knew that most of our guests wouldn't be able to afford it.

I just don't think you should take the attitude that they don't care about you if they don't come. My own twin sister wouldn't have been able to come because she is in law school and has no money. That doesn't mean she doesn't love us, just that she is po'.

Maybe do something small when you get back--a barbeque or pizza party or something for those people who couldn't make it?

HTH...sorry if I offended, just my opinion.

I LOVE destination weddings. It forces me to go on a vacation -- and it usually ends up cheaper. I got to go to Maui for a very inexpensive price b/c my friend had her wedding there...and I didnt complain one bit.

I also would have NEVER expected her to pay for my flight etc.

If someone wants to be there...they can pay on their own. And if they cant afford it, the bride and groom understand -- just like you mentioned.

It's not like you are forcing them to take a miserable trip. If they decide to go, they are getting a great vacation with friends and family at a discounted rate...and they get a free meal! : )

your not wrong. i went to a friends wedding in disney and we had to pay for everything on our own. they did a welcome dinner the night before and a goodbye brunch the day after. that was it. and it was more then enough

those that want to go, will. forget all the others just trying to get a free trip. ugghhhhhh

Rey, i would never in a million years expect ANYONE to pay for my flight or anything if i was invited to a wedding. Of all the out of state weddings i went to, i never asked the bride and groom if they're paying for my car rental, you know?

whoever wants to be there will..and will find a way. I couldn't agree with you more either by saying they have to save up. it's not like ur springing it on them 2 weeks prior.

this is my mentality for my bachlorette party and i'm not bending. i've done t for others and now it's my turn so i don't want to hear sh*t

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Posted by Rosalind_75

I am not a fan of destination weddings
why do i need to spend money to go on vacation to watch a friend or family member get married?
what if its a place i have no interest in going?
is that fair?
plus the cost can be crazy!!

the only time i go out of state for a wedding is if the person lives out of state.
and i am there for 2nights tops.

jmo

sorry

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Im with you on this. I used to think they were cool but now that Im having to go to one,and its costing me so much money I dont have (its my bro so I cant NOT go) Im thinking its ridiculous. Its fantastic to know they are getting a great deal but why does that have to put me in the poor house lol. Im just bitter right now cause I could use the money Im spending on this for my own wedding ya know?

no you're not wrong.. just remember that a lot of people you hope to come might not..