advice

ilana101 Posted: Jan 13, 2010 10:24 AM

advice

so my moh sister is getting married in march 4 months b4 me and i just got the invite made out to me and my 2 sisters... on the response card she 'kindly' wrote in 3 basically saying that fh is not invited to her wedding. fh is really pissed especially since we are inviting her and her soon to b husband to our wedding, when i called my moh she basically told me that they don't have the money to invite my fh and we are not married anyway. i have known this girl and her whole family since pre school although i am best friends with her sister and not the closest with her, fh basically does not want me to go because he was not invited but i just feel like i have known her so long i am obligated to go. idk any advice??? what would u do

AwaitingAugust Posted: Jan 13, 2010 10:28 AM

Re: advice

wow, that's really not cool of her ....

i understand not inviting boyfriends / girlfriends ... but serious relationships (especially your fiance!) should def be invited!

i'm not sure what i'd do ... maybe you and your FH can both go to the ceremony and not the reception?

GT143EA Posted: Jan 13, 2010 10:34 AM

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I wouldnt go!

jennybee Posted: Jan 13, 2010 10:36 AM

Re: advice

Posted by AwaitingAugust

wow, that's really not cool of her ....

i understand not inviting boyfriends / girlfriends ... but serious relationships (especially your fiance!) should def be invited!

i'm not sure what i'd do ... maybe you and your FH can both go to the ceremony and not the reception?

That's a good idea. I understand that money may be tight, but although she may have not have meant to hurt anyone, it seems very insulting to FH. He is your partner and you should really consider his feelings in this.

Wow. That's a toughie!

FutureJOC Posted: Jan 13, 2010 10:42 AM

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I don't think I would go. That's kind of a kick in the face. I could understand completely if you were not in a serious relationship and they really needed to cut guests where they could, but you are obviously in a serious relationship, she obviously knows this, so i would be very offended.

springsandra Posted: Jan 13, 2010 11:07 AM

Re: advice

That's a really tough situation. It sounds like you must be pretty good friends with this girl since her sister is your MOH and you're already planning to invite her and her will-be husband to your wedding... if it's really about the money, maybe you could offer to give her the extra $100 or whatever it is for one extra head at the wedding in advance? Usually you give a gift to 'pay' for yourself as a guest at a wedding, but if the real, only reason is the money, maybe that could work? Are you close enough with her to ask?

Or could you ask if he could be a 'B' invite so if a few people say no, he can come?

I honestly don't know if I would go without DH to a wedding unless it was OOT and he couldn't get the time off or something. Not at this point in our lives. Maybe one of your sisters could give up their spot for your fiance?

It's just so strange that to cut one person she'd do it that way IMO.

Good luck!

halfbaked Posted: Jan 13, 2010 11:08 AM

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WOW! That's effed up!!!

Edited: I read it wrong. It's still wrong. I'd just go to the ceremony, with FH and leave after that.

Mommy2BeBride Posted: Jan 13, 2010 11:10 AM

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I wouldn't go! JMO!

ilana101 Posted: Jan 13, 2010 11:30 AM

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they are Muslim and they got married before hand so there will b no ceremony, i am very good friends with her sister hence y she is my moh but me and her sister are not really close, i believe that her parents are paying for it and they don't recognize relationships unless u are married which is probably y he was not invited in the first place on top of the money issue, they are actually only paying like 45 pp because there will b no alcohol. idk it is almost like i can't not go but i dont want to fight with fh about this...

Susan2010 Posted: Jan 13, 2010 11:37 AM

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Sounds like you are not close enough with this girl to speak to her directly, but instead are speaking with her sister who is your friend. Easier said than done, but try not to take it personal, likely it isnt.

MrsBlueRibbon Posted: Jan 13, 2010 11:42 AM

Re: advice

I would not go without my fiance.

springsandra Posted: Jan 13, 2010 11:43 AM

Re: advice

Posted by ilana101

they are Muslim and they got married before hand so there will b no ceremony, i am very good friends with her sister hence y she is my moh but me and her sister are not really close, i believe that her parents are paying for it and they don't recognize relationships unless u are married which is probably y he was not invited in the first place on top of the money issue, they are actually only paying like 45 pp because there will b no alcohol. idk it is almost like i can't not go but i dont want to fight with fh about this...

Oh, that makes a little more sense then. It probably doesn't make it easier for your fiance to understand, but I guess I see why they would do that. You're still 'single' in their eyes until your wedding day.

It doesn't sound like this is going to be the party of the year or anything, so it's not like your fiance is missing a really exciting event. But if he's that upset about it and doesn't want you to go, you can decline the invitation. It is not worth stirring up bad blood with your soon-to-be husband over. But if he can understand their point of view and is ok with it, just go with your sisters and make it one last 'single' event for you.

Maybe it would be the perfect day for your fiance to schedule his bachelor party...

IrinaBNY Posted: Jan 13, 2010 11:53 AM

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Whaaaat??

I would understand if he was your boyfriend.. but your fiance????? That's RUDE!!!!! If I were your fiance, not only would I be mad, but I'd be even more mad if you actually went without me!!!!

I wouldn't go if I were you!!!!!

HSsweethearts Posted: Jan 13, 2010 12:28 PM

Re: advice

Not cool. I would either speak with her and tell her you can't come without FH, or have the MOH speak with her. I would NEVER go to a wedding without FH and I would be completely offended by anyone who would invite me without him or vice versa.