Advice Needed

MarjorieFrank Posted: Jun 17, 2009 11:45 AM

Advice Needed

I need your advice. My godmother (who moved to Florida) and I have always had a good relationship. I was always planning on telling her whenever I got engaged... however, my godfather passed away unexpectedly 2 weeks before I got engaged. I felt horrible calling her with this news during such a bad time. Fast forward a few months, and I have still not called her. Bad, I know...

Well, my godmother is coming up to NY to visit for 2 weeks and we are going to see her a few times. FH and my mom are telling me to call her and tell her about my engagement before she gets here (next week). I would prefer to wait until she gets here to tell her in person. But then again I feel like she may feel bombarded and may feel hurt I didn't tell her earlier. I have no idea what to do. What do you think I should do?

AdriandSteve Posted: Jun 17, 2009 11:46 AM

Re: Advice Needed

I think ur ok. Just make it clear that it's such important news that you wanted to tell her and show her the ring in person.

Soon2bMrsH Posted: Jun 17, 2009 11:48 AM

Re: Advice Needed

aww tough situation!!

maybe you can tell her that you wanted to surprise her in person and if she says you should have called, say it was bad timing and you felt bad for what she was going through. its all the truth, hope everything works out for you!

JAAMS Posted: Jun 17, 2009 11:48 AM

Re: Advice Needed

Hmmm this is a toughie. But I THINK it would be nice to tell her in person, since you're going to have the opportunity to do so. I had to tell SO many people over the phone b/c they are scattered all over, and I wish I could've told them in person.

I think maybe the thing to say would be, 'So we're so excited that we're actually going to get to tell you this in person..(and then deliver your news!)

Afterwards, maybe pull her over to the side, and let her know that you didn't think it was the right time when you first got engaged.

StaceyWill Posted: Jun 17, 2009 11:49 AM

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I think you should wait and tell her in person, since she'll be here next week. If she asks why you didn't tell her sooner, just explain that because of the situation, you didn't think it was appropriate...

I'm sorry for the loss of your godfather...

Alfysbaby Posted: Jun 17, 2009 11:50 AM

Re: Advice Needed

Posted by AdriandSteve

I think ur ok. Just make it clear that it's such important news that you wanted to tell her and show her the ring in person.

Maybe set aside a day where you can take her out to lunch!

2010 Fall Bride Posted: Jun 17, 2009 11:54 AM

Re: Advice Needed

I think you should tell her in person. Tell her that you wanted to tell her sooner but didn't know how with the situation but once you found out she was coming you had rather tell her person! JMO

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Jun 17, 2009 11:58 AM

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Posted by JAAMS

Hmmm this is a toughie. But I THINK it would be nice to tell her in person, since you're going to have the opportunity to do so. I had to tell SO many people over the phone b/c they are scattered all over, and I wish I could've told them in person.

I think maybe the thing to say would be, 'So we're so excited that we're actually going to get to tell you this in person..(and then deliver your news!)

Afterwards, maybe pull her over to the side, and let her know that you didn't think it was the right time when you first got engaged.

ITA. I saw in your profile that you got engaged at the end of March; that wasn't so long ago. It's not like you got engaged a year ago and still haven't told her...she was going through a terrible time and will understand why you didn't want to tell her immediately.

MrsSoto Posted: Jun 17, 2009 11:59 AM

Re: Advice Needed

I agree it would be nice to tell her in person but I think if you called her, it would show her that you are making it a point to tell her this as she's someone very important to you. If you tell her when she gets here, she might feel like if she hadnt come, you still wouldnt have told her and its just out of convenience that you are telling her since she's here.

mariedsgn Posted: Jun 17, 2009 12:02 PM

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I feel like some time went by - what's another 2 weeks?! I'd wait to tell her in person! JMO

FutureMrsSoltan Posted: Jun 17, 2009 12:58 PM

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Posted by MrsSoto

I agree it would be nice to tell her in person but I think if you called her, it would show her that you are making it a point to tell her this as she's someone very important to you. If you tell her when she gets here, she might feel like if she hadnt come, you still wouldnt have told her and its just out of convenience that you are telling her since she's here.

I agree. She is coming up anyway so she will get to see the ring but if you call her she might feel like you went out of your way to tell her. Which might be nice

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: Jun 17, 2009 01:04 PM

Re: Advice Needed

I would call her now and tell her. She may feel slighted either way, but I'd tell her before she gest here

grkbarbie Posted: Jun 17, 2009 01:04 PM

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tell her ni person.

just make sure she doesnt know already and is mad u didnt tell her urself. lol

megan_gallagher Posted: Jun 17, 2009 01:10 PM

Re: Advice Needed

Posted by AdriandSteve

I think ur ok. Just make it clear that it's such important news that you wanted to tell her and show her the ring in person.

ITA!
Tell her in person.. just be like:
I have something to show you... and then old the out!
she'll be like
and then she'll

Ivansgirl Posted: Jun 17, 2009 01:14 PM

Re: Advice Needed

Posted by mrsdraskin2009

I would call her now and tell her. She may feel slighted either way, but I'd tell her before she gest here

I agree. If there is a chance she will be upset i would tell her ahead of time so this way when you show her the ring it won't be like the giant elephant in the room. If she is not upset,,, you will just give her somethign more to look forward to.

iHeartMoogle Posted: Jun 17, 2009 02:35 PM

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Tell her you have a surprise for her before she gets there. Then tell her the news when she's there!

drivwal Posted: Jun 17, 2009 02:36 PM

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just tell her when she gets here. let her know why you didn't tell her before I am sure she will understand

soontobecruz Posted: Jun 17, 2009 02:37 PM

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I don't think it is a bad thing. Just stress that you wanted to tell her in person.

summerbridetobe Posted: Jun 17, 2009 03:06 PM

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I would tell her in person... just say you wanted to surprise her and see her reaction. and you can also mention you didnt want to call with such exciting news right after your godfather passed away. I think thats understandable.