Advice Please

mbscheer Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:22 PM

Advice Please

My sister just started dating a guy 3 months ago. She already states their madly in love and are looking at houses. Personally I am not his biggest fan but its because she has only let me meet him once.

Should he and does he have to be in family pictures at the wedding? She really wants him in them and I am not that excited about it.

Thanks for the advice

Dean Bean Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:23 PM

Re: Advice Please

I vote hell no lol

MrsCM Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:23 PM

Re: Advice Please

I think he should definitely be invited as her date but NO he should not be allowed in family photos unless he is part of the family or you want him to be.

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:25 PM

Re: Advice Please

Not in the family photos, but maybe you and your FH could take some pics with her and him?

If it all works out in the end, you'll always have that memory to look back on with her.

But if not, it's not like he'll be haunting the family photos forever.

HSsweethearts Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:25 PM

Re: Advice Please

They're not engaged, it's only 3 months.

I always think about these decisions this way - Would you regret it more having him in the pictures if things went south, or not having him, if they do end up married?

I think it would a lot worse to have this guy in the pictures if they break up. It would be painful memories for her forever, and you'd look at the pics going 'who is this dude and why is he in my wedding album?' If they do end up living happily ever after, you'll have plenty of opportunities for him to be in family pics, notably at her own wedding.

If she really want him though, maybe just take the standard family pics without him and then call him for one family pic, and also make sure the photographer gets a nice shot of them together. Voila! bases covered.

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:25 PM

Re: Advice Please

I'd say no....

BUT

to avoid dramz...maybe include him in like 2 pics just to shut her up.

AwaitingAugust Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:26 PM

Re: Advice Please

he should totally NOT be in pictures .... what if they break up and you have to see this guy in your pictures for the rest of your life?!??!

Jenna_and_John Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:26 PM

Re: Advice Please

No way

scatteredx12 Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:29 PM

Re: Advice Please

I say no... If they break up, she's never gonna wanna look at the pictures for the rest of her life because he'll be in them. Take pictures on the side, but not professional ones...

mbscheer Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:29 PM

Re: Advice Please

Thanks girls... I told her we could do a couple pictures with him and she seemed pissed... I really do not want him in there but I am so afraid to start a fight with my sister because we don't have the best relationship.

netsirk10 Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:31 PM

Re: Advice Please

no wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Spring143 Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:36 PM

Re: Advice Please

Posted by mrsdraskin2009

to avoid dramz...maybe include him in like 2 pics just to shut her up.

I agree
look the guy may one day be her husband. im not saying he will be but there may be a chance right??
its not like you have to put that pic in your album.
tell your photog the situation he/she will take care of it so you dont have to feel weird.
my mil has been married 6 times and i know this husband isnt going to last so i went over that i want pics with him and without him

JessNicole7EM Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:37 PM

Re: Advice Please

I'm crashing.

but that's a big hell no.

Maybe take a few with him like the other girls said to make her happy.

FutureCap Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:51 PM

Re: Advice Please

absolutely postively NOOOOOOO!

Mrsmonty Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:52 PM

Re: Advice Please

Well this is a tough one because I know we all want to have a drama free wedding day. Ultimately you are going to have to be the one that decides who are in the pictures because it is your wedding day after all, and you only have one.

But just to draw from personal experience. When my sis got married three years ago, I was dating FH. I think at the time we were dating for about 2 years at that point and we were not even thinking about marriage yet. What my sis did was she took lots pictures with the immediate fam and bridal party and only a couple with him and fam. She did not include any of the pictures with FH in the albums for her and the parents. What she did was after the wedding she sent a mini self made album to him with the pictures the photographer gave her.

Sorry for the novel, but just offering you another option.

JLWSJC Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:53 PM

Re: Advice Please

Mmmmm... def not. Tell her to come talk to you when she has a ring, not a house.

Chelechel1 Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:58 PM

Re: Advice Please

Maybe in some pictures. You never know, they may get married eventually, and it would be nice for them both to have pictures during a very important day for her as well. If it makes your mom happy on her daughter's wedding day, then I would get a few pictures that she could have for memories.

Future Mrs H Posted: Jan 14, 2010 05:59 PM

Re: Advice Please

I agree on taking maybe 2 pics with him to make her happy and if she wants a pic just them 2 ok- but not with all the family pics

meg922 Posted: Jan 14, 2010 06:04 PM

Re: Advice Please

For the formal family shots, can you ask the photog to set it up so that he is gradually adding people into the pictures:

So for example, have the photog say 'Let's have the bride and her parents; now the bride and siblings; now the bride and parents and siblings; let's add in the extended family (aunts, uncles, whatever), okay, let's add boyfriends of siblings.

This way, you have the family shots you want and you placate your sister.

Plus, things get so hectic during the picture taking that she's likely to lose track of which shots he's in and which shots he's not.