advice please!!

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Posted by Angel120905

unfortunately she made her bed and now she has to lye in it. If the dress doesn't fit she only has herself to blame. I don't think there is really anything that you can do. You did everything you could and so did the dress shop.

some people just don't think... I would much rather have a dress taken in than have it too small.

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ITA... i think its great that youre trying to be helpful to her but this is her problem and quite frankly, her fault...

WOW! I would prob go bridezilla on her and make sure she ran 3 miles a day and watched what she was eating and only drank water. UGH!! If she was the MOH, it wouldn't be so bad b/c then you could get away with a different dress altogether if needed.

eeeek!


what was she thinking? Im not sure what to say but what everyone else has said. She signed the waiver fully knowing it was going to be too small, so she should have to deal with it. Being a plus size myself I understand how she feels about ordering a bigger size but seriously I would never do that especially for a BM dress.

sorry you have this added stress

WHAT is wrong with her?

I think some people freak out when they see the size they have to roder (since it's usually bigger than street size). My sister had a BM who was out of town and she called in her measurements and they told her she needed to order a size 8, but she's a street 4, and she freaked out and dropped out of the wedding party. I'm not kidding.

2 things - 1 ) I find they ALWAYS make you order a bigger size. So the 'right' size for her, was probably a size bigger anyway.Whenever I order a BM gown the size they tell me to order is too big. Even with my bridal gown, I was between sizes and they reco'd a size up. I ordered a size down and it's still really big ( I lost weight though). So I think even though she ordered 2 sizes 2 small, it's probably only 1 size too small. She has time to lose weight AND if it's only one size small, they may be able to let it out. Between spanx and letting it out, she might get away with it with a good seamstress. The store WANTS to sell you more fabric, so you might want to bring it to a local seamstress for another opinion

2) She decided to order the dress a size small. COMPLETELY her fault. She needs to pay for any necessary alterations to the gown. That's what she got herself into by ordering it in a size she knew was too small. I'm sure she was warned. She should go to the store IMMEDIATELY to try it on so you know exactly what you're dealing with and can work on a solution

ALSO if she DOES need more fabric, I would search ebay for another dress from the same designer in the same color in any size. Chances are it will be under $100 and you'll save money. It might not be the same dye lot, but I doubt any difference would be noticable.

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Posted by meghan13

I guess I'll have to think about it. She has been so good to me through this whole thing, but I just can't afford to help her with this. The dress isn't even going to get on her - at least if it was just tight or something I could handle it. This is just added stress to my life!.

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while i don't think it's your obligation whatsoever to foot the bill for any additional alterations, i do think as a friend you'll want to think carefully about how to approach this. she will likely feel horrible about herself; she probably had every intention to look the best she could at your wedding - which in her mind meant fitting into the smaller sized dress.

i think it was foolish on her part to purchase a dress 2 sizes too small, but what's done is done. do you think you can sit back for a day or two and then after she realizes the situation she's in, let her approach you about it? i, personally, would have a very hard time bringing up the issue of someone's weight, esp b/c it's such a sensitive subject.

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Posted by Debbie2011

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Posted by meghan13

I guess I'll have to think about it. She has been so good to me through this whole thing, but I just can't afford to help her with this. The dress isn't even going to get on her - at least if it was just tight or something I could handle it. This is just added stress to my life!.

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while i don't think it's your obligation whatsoever to foot the bill for any additional alterations, i do think as a friend you'll want to think carefully about how to approach this. she will likely feel horrible about herself; she probably had every intention to look the best she could at your wedding - which in her mind meant fitting into the smaller sized dress.

i think it was foolish on her part to purchase a dress 2 sizes too small, but what's done is done. do you think you can sit back for a day or two and then after she realizes the situation she's in, let her approach you about it? i, personally, would have a very hard time bringing up the issue of someone's weight, esp b/c it's such a sensitive subject.

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I really haven't said anything to her. When she told me that she hadn't lost any weight I just told her to make an appointment and if she wanted me to go with her I would. I figured I'd let the shop tell her option. I really don't know if I want to go but I'm trying to be supportive. At the same time, I need her to fit in the dress.

I hear what your saying though and your right. I am being much gentler with her then I am on this board LOL!

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Posted by meghan13

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Posted by Debbie2011

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Posted by meghan13

I guess I'll have to think about it. She has been so good to me through this whole thing, but I just can't afford to help her with this. The dress isn't even going to get on her - at least if it was just tight or something I could handle it. This is just added stress to my life!.

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while i don't think it's your obligation whatsoever to foot the bill for any additional alterations, i do think as a friend you'll want to think carefully about how to approach this. she will likely feel horrible about herself; she probably had every intention to look the best she could at your wedding - which in her mind meant fitting into the smaller sized dress.

i think it was foolish on her part to purchase a dress 2 sizes too small, but what's done is done. do you think you can sit back for a day or two and then after she realizes the situation she's in, let her approach you about it? i, personally, would have a very hard time bringing up the issue of someone's weight, esp b/c it's such a sensitive subject.

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I really haven't said anything to her. When she told me that she hadn't lost any weight I just told her to make an appointment and if she wanted me to go with her I would. I figured I'd let the shop tell her option. I really don't know if I want to go but I'm trying to be supportive. At the same time, I need her to fit in the dress.

I hear what your saying though and your right. I am being much gentler with her then I am on this board LOL!

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i think what you're doing is exactly what i'd do... let the people at the shop give her the facts about the fit of the dress and what options she now has. i'm curious if she'll want you there or not... she might be ashamed and not even want anyone around.

i'm sure you are being a very good friend to her... it sounds harsh when people 'say it like it is' on here, but i'm sure in her presence you are doing all you can to show that you care. of course, it is YOUR special day, so hopefully she is being a good friend in return.

IMO-and this is coming from a fat girl

shes an idiot!! You are a plus size to begin with.....you were fat when you ordered the dress, did you really have faith that you would lose weight for a friends wedding when you hadnt done it for yourself. This girl needed to get real to begin with. Yes I know this is harsh, but whatever, No options, and if you don't like the corset back (which i don't-ppl will think shes the MOH or something) add panels and she needs to pay for everything!!! BP annoy the living crap out of me this week. Good Luck

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Posted by Richiesgirl

IMO-and this is coming from a fat girl

shes an idiot!! You are a plus size to begin with.....you were fat when you ordered the dress, did you really have faith that you would lose weight for a friends wedding when you hadnt done it for yourself. This girl needed to get real to begin with. Yes I know this is harsh, but whatever, No options, and if you don't like the corset back (which i don't-ppl will think shes the MOH or something) add panels and she needs to pay for everything!!! BP annoy the living crap out of me this week. Good Luck

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AMEN!!!

She needs to get a reality check. What she did was dumb. I'm a plus size now and I used to weight 40 lbs more than I do now, so I'm not being insensitive to her weight issues.

OMG that is aweful. I dont understand the logic behind her decission.

If I were in the same situation, I would have her get the corset or just have to pay the fee to get a new dress/alterations, etc.

If she doesn't have the money, I wouldn't kick her out but obviously she's not walking down the aisle if she doesn't have a dress???

So odd.

Honestly,it is very unfortunate that this happened. But she made a foolish mistake by doing what she did. I have a heavy set bm, and she actually lost 30lbs! However, she ordered her dress in her actual size back then (30 lbs heavier) and will now have to take it in. She is happy, of course, but she knows that this will cost her.

I think it's her responsibility to do whatever needs to be done. I don't think the corset would look bad. I think you should tell her what you would like for her to do and see if she is willing...