ADVICE PLEASE....NOW AN UPDATE..READ MY NEW REPLY!!!!

Original post by sweetdoublenn

Nov 18, 2008 09:51 PM

Remember all the drama I had with my ex-bestfriend and I dismissed her of my wedding and we just stopped talking to one another?

Well I found out her mom died!!! I have no idea how I feel so crappy..Her mom was always good to me! I've known her since I was 12! I'm in shock cause I can't believe it!

My question is do I write her an e-mail..send her a text. E-mail her half sister? I don't know why I feel the need to send her my condolences cause she hasn't sought me out yet..But I still feel bad!

What do you think I should do?

florezpeeps Posted: Nov 26, 2008 05:29 PM

Re: ADVICE PLEASE....NOW AN UPDATE..READ MY NEW REPLY!!!!

call her, call her, wedding fight aside, and if she hangs up on you, that's okay, believe me, in the back of her mind it will resonate that you called her

Colby212 Posted: Nov 26, 2008 05:38 PM

Re: ADVICE PLEASE....NOW AN UPDATE..READ MY NEW REPLY!!!!

I think you're being a little rediculous - you could call but it seems like you are just nervous and looking for reasons not to call.

People tend to get emotional about weddings and everything around them. Your wedding day will come and go..but family and loyal friends will always be forever.

sophisticat13 Posted: Nov 26, 2008 08:04 PM

Re: ADVICE PLEASE....NOW AN UPDATE..READ MY NEW REPLY!!!!

Posted by Colby212

I think you're being a little rediculous - you could call but it seems like you are just nervous and looking for reasons not to call.

People tend to get emotional about weddings and everything around them. Your wedding day will come and go..but family and loyal friends will always be forever.

I would be nervous too...her best friend wasn;t around for her during the most important day and time of her life, plus she didn't even tell her that her mother passed away. Terrible though it is that her best friend's mother passed away, and it IS horrific... she is probably still hurt and is wondering if she should open herself up to more hurt right now.
I am not sure what I would do, to be honest. I would probably call her and leave her a message and go from there...I think you are a good friend to be so concerned about someone who upset you. I would feel the same way.

ant n tilde Posted: Nov 26, 2008 10:19 PM

Re: ADVICE PLEASE....NOW AN UPDATE..READ MY NEW REPLY!!!!

I dont know if this is what is 'right' but I would wait a little while and then send a 'thinking of you' card. Explain that you aren't sure if she wants to start over but that you are there if she wants to.

I know first hand that losing a close friend is devastating and I think you should fight and give her another chance.

sweetdoublenn Posted: Nov 26, 2008 11:01 PM

Re: ADVICE PLEASE....NOW AN UPDATE..READ MY NEW REPLY!!!!

I found out just a little while ago from a friend of how her mom passed away. She had cervical cancer that spread to her lungs and lymph nopes. After hearing this, this had to be going on for a while and sure would explain allot over my wedding. But how we were friends for 18 years I am wondering why she didn't tell me about her mom beforehand. I would of understood. I know she is hurting I think I am gonna give it while and see what happens. It could be a way we can start a friendship over. I need to think things out a bit and see what happens. She sent me a note so I am thinking she is waiting to see if I am gonna react to the note.

MsPotterhead Posted: Nov 28, 2008 01:57 AM

Re: ADVICE PLEASE....NOW AN UPDATE..READ MY NEW REPLY!!!!

Posted by sweetdoublenn

I found out just a little while ago from a friend of how her mom passed away. She had cervical cancer that spread to her lungs and lymph nopes. After hearing this, this had to be going on for a while and sure would explain allot over my wedding. But how we were friends for 18 years I am wondering why she didn't tell me about her mom beforehand. I would of understood. I know she is hurting I think I am gonna give it while and see what happens. It could be a way we can start a friendship over. I need to think things out a bit and see what happens. She sent me a note so I am thinking she is waiting to see if I am gonna react to the note.

She is grieving now. I don't think she is sitting around thinking about how you are going to react to her note. She is grieving a horrible loss.

You are obviously thinking about her a lot, and I think you are worrying too much about what to do. I really think you should be there for her if you still care about her at all.

If you wait a while, she may think it is too little too late. I really think you should just call her, it will probably make you feel a little better too.

melissatam2008 Posted: Nov 28, 2008 09:29 PM

Re: ADVICE PLEASE....NOW AN UPDATE..READ MY NEW REPLY!!!!

i agree with her..besides all ur problems, u guys were friends once and i think it would be very insensitive from u to do not do it...

sweetdoublenn Posted: Nov 28, 2008 11:16 PM

Re: ADVICE PLEASE....NOW AN UPDATE..READ MY NEW REPLY!!!!

She sent me a text on Thanksgiving and thanked me for thinking of her. I am just giving her time for the grieving process.

Snowflake08 Posted: Nov 29, 2008 12:47 AM

Re: ADVICE PLEASE....NOW AN UPDATE..READ MY NEW REPLY!!!!

to be honest with you - you totally did the right thing by sending a card and that is all i would do if i were you.

i would not call - maybe its harsh, but i always feel like if you cant laugh with me during the good times, i dont need you there to cry over me during the bad times.

again, you did the proper, respectful thing, and I'd leave it at that