advice re: previous thread

About a month ago i mentioned that we felt bad inviting one of FH's bosses to the wedding because he has pancreatic cancer (which has spread everywhere) and he is out of work and is not expected to make it another 2 months at this point. But we felt bad not sending it cause we always planned to invite him. His other boss (who is best friends with the guy) told us to send it and that was the consensus from you girls too. We knew he could not come, but said if they sent a gift we would not accept it cause they need the money for him, etc.

we sent it. yesterday we got the response, with a very large check, larger than I would have ever thought someone not coming would send, esp them in their situation. We plan to not cash it or send it back, or something. I thought of donating to the lustegarten foundation, but we know they need it, not us or the foundation. We were gonna send them a really nice thank you and send the check back, I don't know what the right way to do this is.

anyone?

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Posted by Lsorrent

Honestly Christine? Cash the check and send them a very nice thank you. They obviously wanted you to have it or they wouldn't have given it to you. It was a gift; accept it as such.

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we just feel so guitly

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Posted by Lsorrent

Honestly Christine? Cash the check and send them a very nice thank you. They obviously wanted you to have it or they wouldn't have given it to you. It was a gift; accept it as such.

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Agreed. Cash the check and use it to make a personal donation if you feel like it. I wouldn't send it back.

I think donating it is a great idea. you can send them a thank you with a note saying who you will be donating it too. I wouldnt send it back- they may take it as insulting.

ETA- JMO

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Posted by Lsorrent

Honestly Christine? Cash the check and send them a very nice thank you. They obviously wanted you to have it or they wouldn't have given it to you. It was a gift; accept it as such.

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ITA!

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Posted by FutureCap

About a month ago i mentioned that we felt bad inviting one of FH's bosses to the wedding because he has pancreatic cancer (which has spread everywhere) and he is out of work and is not expected to make it another 2 months at this point. But we felt bad not sending it cause we always planned to invite him. His other boss (who is best friends with the guy) told us to send it and that was the consensus from you girls too. We knew he could not come, but said if they sent a gift we would not accept it cause they need the money for him, etc.

we sent it. yesterday we got the response, with a very large check, larger than I would have ever thought someone not coming would send, esp them in their situation. We plan to not cash it or send it back, or something. I thought of donating to the lustegarten foundation, but we know they need it, not us or the foundation. We were gonna send them a really nice thank you and send the check back, I don't know what the right way to do this is.

anyone?

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i think donating it to the Lustgarten Foundation is pretty fitting... but like Laura said... im sure they would want you to accept it as the gift they sent..

If I was in a financial jam... and someone invited me to a wedding ... I certainly wouldn't send a very large check.

Just sayin'. They sent what they wanted to offer. Accept it graciously.

Be there for them if they need you for anything!

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Posted by Lsorrent

Honestly Christine? Cash the check and send them a very nice thank you. They obviously wanted you to have it or they wouldn't have given it to you. It was a gift; accept it as such.

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ITA. They know the situation they are in. If they didn't want you to cash the check they wouldn't have sent it. Send a super nice thank you & include in the note something you plan on using the money towards.

(example: Thank you for your very generous gift, which will help us purchase our fine china. We will think of your generosity everytime we use it.)

aww I would probably feel the same. I agree with girls. Donate some or all.