anyone else feel this way? they are only paying for the rehaersal dinner and when i wanted to have an engagement party they had never even heard of that. they asked if they had to bring a present! i feel like they think everything that we are doing is frivilous. and its gotten me so annoyed that i cancelled the engagement party.
werock0709
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Re: aggrivated with fi's family
My FI's parents are on a fixed income . And you know what. They cry with a loaf of bread under their arms. Seriously. His mother hasn't offered to help with any of the rehearsal dinner, let alone anything else. Don't get me wrong....we get along realy well, but I'm just as annoyed
bride2b24
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Re: aggrivated with fi's family
im with both of you girls! i get along great with the FIL'S but theyre already crying about the night of hotel its your sons wedding! i cant wait to discuss the rehearsal dinner!
ant n tilde
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Re: aggrivated with fi's family
werock0709
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Re: aggrivated with fi's family
Yeah, we're paying for it OURSELVES!!!
ziamaria
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Re: aggrivated with fi's family
yep, in it with you. fmil mentioned that the grooms side pays for the rd, but no one has yet to announce where or who will be invited as there will be numerous OOT guests. hmmmm....my parents are paying for EVERYTHING it would be nice if his parents helped out, even just to ask if there is anything we need help with. oh well...che sara, sara
NY031978
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Re: aggrivated with fi's family
oh pls i know the feeling.......his parents arent even doing the RD.......its just nuts how its ok that my parents can fork out cash but they cant bc Fi wont ask...i know they are on a budget but they can do the dinner....atleast that!
futrmrsblt
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Re: aggrivated with fi's family
hahah this post brings me back to last week... i ask FH to ask his parents if there is a budget for the RD (they offered to pay 4 months ago .. twice!)... he calls his mom she goes .. you didnt tell me where or when so we aren't paying for it... HELLOOOOO its 8 months away im looking NOW at places and keeping it on the lowerst $ side possible.. and they didnt have a concrete time or place and now won't pay for it?? does that make sence to anyone? hahaha
they have ooodles of money (hello THREEE houses) one brand new and with allll brand new furnishings... (all in $$$ places)... all they are paying for is the RD.. and now FMIL is trying to back out... needless to say i was fuming
aw well at least my family rocks hahahaha (too bad we live near his, not mine )
JenMike331
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Re: aggrivated with fi's family
Posted by cantwait84
anyone else feel this way? they are only paying for the rehaersal dinner and when i wanted to have an engagement party they had never even heard of that. they asked if they had to bring a present! i feel like they think everything that we are doing is frivilous. and its gotten me so annoyed that i cancelled the engagement party.
i totally know how you feel!!!!! i feel the same way about the in-laws...i feel that they think the whole wedding plans/details are ridiculous....thats why at the beginning i spoke to my mother in law to be about things but i felt that 'why is she bothering with these stupid details' face/attitude was coming out that I just said hey she's not paying for anything but the rehearsal dinner so she doesnt have to know everything unless she asks....and she hasnt and the wedding is in 7 mos!
sugarkube4
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Re: aggrivated with fi's family
FH and I are paying for the wedding.. his side hasn't and won't contribute anything and my mom is taking care of what she can.. there is only so much she can do.. and I told FH.. my mother is NOT paying for the rehearsal dinner.. and that he better hit his father up for that.. otherwise, we are having a rehearsal and no dinner afterwards.. it's such bullsh*t
NF622
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Re: aggrivated with fi's family
When I originally mentioned an engagement party, so the families could get together and meet each other, FMIL told me she had talked to her sister and they apparently thought the whole thing was tacky and was just an excuse to get presents. And that since people are going to the bridal shower and wedding too that it was too much to ask them. Um...my engagement party is a year before the wedding, the shower won't be until next year. We are only inviting the families and the bridal party. They don't need to bring presents, we don't need to have it at a hall...I just wanted to have them together. Then after not wanting to have one, she went psycho in the planning for it and wanting her way in everything.
I love her, but I'm glad that the planning for the e-party is over, cause she was driving me nuts
Captsarkasm
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Re: aggrivated with fi's family
My inlaws are the same way...they're daughter is getting married next month (of which they are paying for the entire wedding.....not even having her contribute) and they are paying for the RD for us.....I understand it's tradition that the girls side of the family pays for the wedding, but these days, thats impossible. FH and I are paying about half, and my parents are paying about half. The thing that boggles my mind is how they can tell one of their children 'sure, no problem, we'll pay for it ALL' and tell the other, 'you're not getting any $$ except for the RD'....I guess I shouldn't be ungrateful, but cmon...thats a hell of a difference!
cantwait84
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Re: aggrivated with fi's family
so, i think ive decided to do the engagement party, even though i know that most of his family is not attending. i know its tradition that the brides family pays for everything, however i think that is stupid. its not like im marrying myslelf! and i take particular offense to when they told Fi that they could not afford all of this (which i take to mean that they cant afford buying us presents- even though they arent paying for anything else!) I was thinking that since they were not helping with the wedding that they would be generous with gifts but it looks like they are just being generally cheap. thanks for listening... i hope that this doesnt come off greedy or self-ish.
rojerono
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Re: aggravated with fi's family
Yeah. Sometimes.
They don't think we should have a 'real' wedding because FH and I are older, have 2 kids already and are established with our own home. They want us to go get married at town hall... but they would be upset if we didn't invite them to Town Hall with half their family. *sigh*
They are great and I love them - MOST of the time - but they haven't offered to lift a finger to help financially. I am not having a formal Rehearsal Dinner because I can't afford it AND a wedding. So I am just having folks over to my house for a pre-wedding get together/barbecue.
I guess what kind of disturbs me is that they basically support their grown daughter and her son without any qualms... they give ridiculous amounts of support to another grown son ... but because my FH has got his **** together, they don't feel it is necessary to help him out at all.
Oh well. We don't NEED the money... so I am not really upset because of that. But I guess the favoritism bugs me a bit.
