Im exhausted from this wedding. I still feel like i'm doing it all. The one thing i ask FH not to do for his bachlor party is the exact thing he did & i'm so upset about it. Everything is piling up and I'm tired! I need him to be more thoughtful and actually do the things he says he is going to do w/o my supervision. He was supposed to clean up my car last August b/c he didn't want me to spend the $ on a detail...i still have the same leaves sitting in my car from 2009 b/c everytime i go to do it he chimes in with 'I'll do it!' I do not want to put my wedding gown in my car full of dust & leaves b/c he won't get it clean or let me clean it. I don't get it. I'm beginning to feel heart broken. We are doing a wedding weekend and don't have limo's. I have a big car so we have to take mine. We had a blow up yesterday b/c of all of this. I never imagined I'd be feeling like this 3 weeks b4 my wedding. I was late to my own bachlorette dinner b/c I was wrapping all the favors alone while he was gone b/c he had to get ready to go out with the boys.
elp6421
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
I am so sorry you are feeling this way!!! You need some help girl -- can you ask some of your bridesmaids to help you with anything??
As for FH, maybe he just doesnt know what he should be doing.
I can't complain bc my FH has done everything I have asked but I literally had to make him a list.
AwaitingAugust
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
my FH was a little bit like yours ... he would say he'd do something, but then he'd end up forgetting all about it. One thing that's helped with that is that he created an online 'to do' list. he writes everything on that list so i don't have to tell him more than once. maybe it would work for you too?
flibbertigibbet
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
Seriously... we had a conversation yesterday about a topic brought up at pre-cana.
They told us 'chores should be your job/my job. If you see something that needs to be done, just do it.'
I asked him 'What do we have to do so that I'm not the one who is always 'seeing it and doing it' because you don't seem to 'see it'.
'Don't worry I'll do it.' 'But without me asking you? I don't want to become a nag' 'Well sometimes you nag' 'Because I ask you to do something three times and you haven't done it and then I get upset'
We're arguing about things that haven't even happened yet because we know eachother well enough to know that he won't clean the bathroom (or whatever) his fair share and I will have to ask him a million times to do it and then he WILL finally do it... but only after calling me a nag.
LOL.
Seriously, I'm just going to tell him his job is to mow the f*cking lawn and clean up dog sh*t when we finally get one and I'll just **** up having to do the indoor work for the rest of our lives... until I'm old and grey.
Men are like children.
FutureCap
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
i'm so sorry ooooh date twin... i think its that time. i had a complete breakdown yesterday for similar reasons... WHY CAN't FH's TAKE CARE OF THE THING ON THEIR LIST WHEN THEY ARE SUPPOSED TOOOOOOOO???? Personally, I am just getting so stressed cause we only have like 18 days left..
halfbaked
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
I know it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's so soon. Honestly, I felt the same way the last month before the wedding. I never cried so much in my life. There were a few projects that I (sadly) had to just let go at the end. I didn't miss them in the slightest. Do what you can and don't stress out. Also, I wish I had enlisted the help of my BMs more often. I felt bad doing it to them though so I pretty much did it with just my mom, sister, and Aunt since they were always willing to help. Good luck!!! I promise it'll all be worth it in the end.
NanandEric08
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
Ugh...it suks, I know but try and take a breather. Go for a walk later and try not to think of anything wedding related. Boys will be boys and that's not to excuse him for not helping or for doing what you asked him not to do for his b party, but I find when it comes to things like favors, FH could care less. As far as the cleaning of the car, it suks that he was supposed to do it but I have learned that if I want something done, most of the time I have to do it myself or harp on FH. If I was in your situation and he told me not to clean the car, I would do it anyway. If you want to have it cleaned, get it cleaned, or clean it, regardless of what he says. With all the stress of the wedding, don't fret the small stuff. Really think long and hard about why you are marrying him and hopefully that will make you feel a little better!
TheNextMrs.B
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
Bridesmaids aren't pulling through for me like they should. I had to finally break down on one of them to get anything done.
My mom was supposed to take over the planning of the after party...that ball got dropped. My dad was supposed to find baby pictures of me...he started & that ball got dropped. FH wants to ask the hall something but he wants me to do b/c he claims that the BM never responds to his calls. I told him yesterday I want to enjoy the last few weeks i have in my house coming home & watching TV with my dad like he does. Instead of staying up late trying to research and make sure things are getting done @ 1am every night. I'm disappointed that the 1 thing i asked him not to do he did. I'm more like devastated.
flibbertigibbet
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
What did he do?
TheNextMrs.B
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
it probably doesn't sound so bad to most people but I think it's so nasty. He went to a sstip club. got a million lap dances and a 'shoulder massage'. I'm having a hard time getting over the vision of w h o r e s rubbing their junk all up on his junk. I don't even want to get close to him. took me all day to just let him kiss my check b/c I was so upset. I would never go to a place like that b/c i know he's be so angry but some how i'm supposed to accept it. he said they 'didn't want to go to a bar and be with ordinary girl' We'll i'm so sorry but that is what you are supposed to marry. I feel like a fool b/c i went and did B~pics as a wedding gift b/c i don't feel sexy enough for him.
Alyssa79
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
i just went through same thing with the strip club.
TheNextMrs.B
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
it's so effing gross! I can't even get words together on how I feel about it!
NYgirlinTX
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
Awwwwww it's almost here!!!! Come down saturday night and take a peak at what will soon be your day! I bet that will make you smile fellow FOX HOLLOW BRIDE
NanandEric08
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
First off, don't let anyone make you feel like you're not sexy enough! Your gorgeous! You had the guts to do those B-pics and if he doesn't appreciate them (which I am sure he will) then one day, you can look back on them and see how hot you were!! Secondly, I think the whole appeal to guys going to places is like is that it's different. It doesn't mean that these are girls that he sees himself with, it's more of a fantasy. You being an 'ordinary girl' has nothing to do with it. I am sure he loves and repsects you for YOU, where as I feel like a lot of guys go to those places because its different. I actually dont care so much about strp clubs. Those girls are paid to do what they do for the guys and all they are prob thinking about is the tip they are going to get. I honestly think I would have a harder time knowing FH spent time talking with an ordinary girl he met out at a bar. I know it's probably killing you but I hope you can get past it!
* edited because I can't spell, lol
TheNextMrs.B
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
I told him for the next 3 weeks he's doing the rest of the planning, following up etc. I gave him my day planner and my note book. I told him all i'm going to worry about is my dress and honeymoon clothes. Not to mention i still need a garter & shoes!
stinenandy2010
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
Posted by TheNextMrs.B
it probably doesn't sound so bad to most people but I think it's so nasty. He went to a sstip club. got a million lap dances and a 'shoulder massage'. I'm having a hard time getting over the vision of w h o r e s rubbing their junk all up on his junk. I don't even want to get close to him. took me all day to just let him kiss my check b/c I was so upset. I would never go to a place like that b/c i know he's be so angry but some how i'm supposed to accept it. he said they 'didn't want to go to a bar and be with ordinary girl' We'll i'm so sorry but that is what you are supposed to marry. I feel like a fool b/c i went and did B~pics as a wedding gift b/c i don't feel sexy enough for him.
on the positive side at least he was honest with you. DH went to a bachelor party this past weekend and came home and told me they went to a stripclub. But I can't say anything b/c all the other guys wives and girlfriends think they went to the casino. Honestly, I felt a little bad thinking about the other guys lieing to their significant others.
i know that a lot of girls find strip clubs tasteless and disgusting. i feel the same way, but if DH goes once in a blue moon for a bachelor party i don't really have a problem.
don't worry this is a stressful time but its all worth it in the end.
SoontobeMrs.Brown
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
Posted by TheNextMrs.B
it probably doesn't sound so bad to most people but I think it's so nasty. He went to a sstip club. got a million lap dances and a 'shoulder massage'. I'm having a hard time getting over the vision of w h o r e s rubbing their junk all up on his junk. I don't even want to get close to him. took me all day to just let him kiss my check b/c I was so upset. I would never go to a place like that b/c i know he's be so angry but some how i'm supposed to accept it. he said they 'didn't want to go to a bar and be with ordinary girl' We'll i'm so sorry but that is what you are supposed to marry. I feel like a fool b/c i went and did B~pics as a wedding gift b/c i don't feel sexy enough for him.
You are sexy enough for him ... thats why hes marrying you. He loves you and you love him. Id be more upset at the empty promises than him getting a lap dance. The 'I'll do it I'll do it' and things never getting done is an issue that needs to be addressed.
If I were you though Id stop waiting for him to get things done and just do it. He doesnt want to clean the car, just go get it cleaned so your dress is okay. Once you start showing him that you dont really need to wait for him to get things done it may light a fire under his a ss.
Try to dismiss the images out of your head with the strip club. You'll only drive yourself more nuts. Your FH doesnt desire them more than you. Believe that. You are beautiful - they are vapid who res.
Deal with the bigger issue at hand and get your girls and FH to help you out so youre not this stressed out three weeks out. Hang in there girl - its almost over
TheNextMrs.B
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
Ok so i'm over it. took some time but i am. we talked it out along with all the other stuff. Hopefully it will all be better going forward.
AdriandSteve
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
Go get your car detailed and when FH complains tell him that you waited long enough for his help that you never got.
SoontobeMrs.Brown
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Re: all i have to say is W-T-F!
Posted by TheNextMrs.B
Ok so i'm over it. took some time but i am. we talked it out along with all the other stuff. Hopefully it will all be better going forward.
Aw, good! Im glad you guys are on the same page now.
