already feeling some date pressure... help please!

Original post by FutureMcBride

Dec 28, 2009 10:29 AM

OK so I am not really stressed about anything yet but I am starting to feel pressure from people about when we are getting married. Family keep asking when we are going to get married!!! My initial reaction is RELAX we just got engaged!!! I so want to just enjoy this but I do think it's important to at least have a ball park !!!

So my Fiance wants to get married NEXT December. I just don't know how I feel about this. We have always wanted a winter wedding. I would love to get married in DEc 2010 but we have NO MONEY saved!!! AT all!!! Part of me just keeps thinking it's too soon!! less than a year doesn't really seem like enough time to start planning, especially since we have no money saved. But if we want to do it Dec 2011 that just seems so far away!!

From your experience, what is more realistic? People keep saying 'no one never has money, you just have to make it work.' I just feel like I want to enjoy this engagement and not have to rush into planning. Especially since we want to have an engagement party and stuff, it will be nice to stretch everything out.Plus, I am a teacher and I want to really start this summer planning and everything. Ugh what do yuo ladies think?

THANKs in advance!

Lucky2010 Posted: Dec 29, 2009 12:45 PM

Re: already feeling some date pressure... help please!

Definitely consider the money factor. If you don't have any money saved, you have to think about all the deposits you'll have to put down.. that's money you need to have ready to go. You'll have so much more by 2011 than 2010 and if you have extra, put it towards the honeymoon!

Bee12 Posted: Dec 29, 2009 03:33 PM

Re: already feeling some date pressure... help please!

I agree with ALL the ladies above... from my experience, rushing always leads to disaster....at least for me.... when i first got engaged in July, i rushed so many decisions but now im realizing that FH and I have time to do what we always wanted so theres no need to settle ( thanks Christina Fall In Love2012 )...

i think you should wait.. as much as people want to rush your engagement, if they are not providing funds.. unfortunately, they have to wait..

1. its a recession

2. money is the No. 1 cause of divorce.. you dont want to start your marriage arguing over $$ after the honeymoon phase.. or put yourselves in debt..its just not healthy for the both of you...

3. I’ve always been a fan of long engagements (1yr+), for me, its about the commitment not the wedding.. everyone's situation is different...some rather just be engaged for 2-3yr, some rather do 6mths - hey! as long as you and your FH know the day will come, no need to rush whatever you AND the fh decide.

You will enjoy your engagement more if you are doing it by saving slow & happy oppose to rushing killing yourself with crazy sacrifices just to please others for a 8hr affair.. For us, end of 2011 or 2012 works.. but i wouldnt dare think about 2010 because its just not going to work, im going to break out again and gain 15pds because our bank account will scream ELOPE, not LIW.. but thats just us..

I know that We’ll get to the altar, and we’ll be stronger for the time it took us to get there and as Beyonce would say, He put the ring on it ... so my fam and friends will have to wait .

(( my cousin and MOH changed my thinking of this whole wedding date.. gotta love them))