My cousin got engaged last week...and I am soo happy for her...she went through alot of crap with her ex and her FH is one of the nicest people ever...(FH & I take credit on this hookup ...we introduced them)
So heres the situation...They are planning on getting married next Oct...not even a month before our wedding. I'm kinda of annoyed that she would go and rush to get married before me...KNOWING that her bridal shower and mine would be around the same times, that we're family and that two weddings back to back is a big expense for family members (I'm VERY close with my cousins) and to booth we share alot of the same friends...I guess I feel that we got engaged first and we booked first...why are you rushing to get married before us? and so damn close to our wedding date...it wouldn't even be a month away they are looking at the end of Oct...PLUS our Bridal party is going to consist of the same people you know what kind of money these girls are going to have to lay out being in two weddings that close together???
Maybe I'm being a brat about this...but come on why must you get married so close to our wedding date...
It's making me miserable...
cole
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
That would bother me too! I think you should say something, something nice though. Maybe suggest that it would be very hard on your bridesmaids and family.
Naunie
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
I can understand why you would be upset. Fh's close friend gat engaged last Christmas, and set a date for August. When we got engaged, it was important to FH, that we not get married before them. But we both want a summer wedding, so we went with almost exactly a month after them. There are 3 groomsmen that are in both wedding parties, but I don't think that's too big a deal, only a few people to inconvenience. I can't imagine if it was family!!!
cindyandkevin
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
I don't think you're being a brat at all!!!!!!! It's perfectly normal for you to feel this way. You're concerned about the expenses this will put on your family and the girls you both have as BMs, that's completely UNselfish!!!
Is she very set on the end of October? If you're close with her why don't you talk to her about moving it back a little?? Put it to her this way, it'll give her more time to save $$ and won't put so much of a hardship on everyone else.
Good luck!!!
kellwolfe
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
I cant say that it wouldnt bother me ....cause it would ...but honey there isnt anything that you can do about it .....talk to you mom about have you shower sooner then later....this is the happiest times or both your lives ...and who knows they did book anything yet maybe when they sit down and go over money it will get pushed back - it happens all the time in the mean while just let it be
MayBride06
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
I guess I am in the minority here. I think they are entitled to get married when they want, even if this means a month before you. Like you said at the beginning of the post, you are happy for her. Do not get upset because she is getting married before you. i do not think she did it on purpose to make you mad. October 2006 is a year away and that is how long people wait typically to get married, it just so happens that it is before yours. How do you know she was not thinking about an 10/06 wedding before she got engaged? Sorry just my opinion. Look at it this way, now you have someone close to you to plan with! It will be great!
johnsae
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I would be annoyed too - you're not being selfish.
stephanief
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Posted by MayBride06
I guess I am in the minority here. I think they are entitled to get married when they want, even if this means a month before you. Like you said at the beginning of the post, you are happy for her. Do not get upset because she is getting married before you. i do not think she did it on purpose to make you mad. October 2006 is a year away and that is how long people wait typically to get married, it just so happens that it is before yours. How do you know she was not thinking about an 10/06 wedding before she got engaged? Sorry just my opinion. Look at it this way, now you have someone close to you to plan with! It will be great!
I agree 100%
itslaurie.
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
Posted by MayBride06
I guess I am in the minority here. I think they are entitled to get married when they want, even if this means a month before you. Like you said at the beginning of the post, you are happy for her. Do not get upset because she is getting married before you. i do not think she did it on purpose to make you mad. October 2006 is a year away and that is how long people wait typically to get married, it just so happens that it is before yours. How do you know she was not thinking about an 10/06 wedding before she got engaged? Sorry just my opinion. Look at it this way, now you have someone close to you to plan with! It will be great!
yeah, what she said! (especially the part about someone to plan with)
I am in the minority also.
Kim51103
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
I totally understand...u are def NOT being selfish...i would feel the EXACT same way!!!
Sooo sorry this is happening...maybe u can talk to them...if they didnt set anything up yet....explain to them....that especially the people in ur party...arent gonna be able to dish this kinda money out....maybe we should leave some time in between...
GOOD LUCK!! Let us know how things go!!!
nicothy
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
YOU AREN'T BEING SELFISH...ITS NATURAL... It's perfectly normal for you to feel this way. now the expenses will put on your family. Its not fair to them either. good luck!!!!!
Thumballina
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
Of course I see it as a happy time...and I would NEVER say that she couldn't get married before me...but not even a month apart...I mean we're talking a three and a half week time frame...I think what really got me upset was when she said that they couldn't do it earlier because two of our other friends are getting married in August and September...and she didn't want to push three weddings into those two months...I get that but at least your Bridal party isn't the same as theirs and your family isn't related...it wouldn't be that much of a hassle for all involved
She called me up and said to me that she knows its really close to ours...but that her FH is going to be 31 by that time and she really wants to get married right away (meaning he doesn't want to wait another year)...our FI are the same age...what does that have to do with anything?
I don't know...I just find that to be a weak excuse...
leese
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
I have to agree with some of the ladies....
You got engaged a while ago and chose to wait a bit. But for her, she just got engaged and now has a WHOLE year to plan...it's not really that short of a time. Some of my friends have gotten married in 6 months or less. I really don't think you can be too upset. JMHO.
And take it from someone who had her shower Sunday... no one else's shower, bat mitzvah, birthday party, or pampered chef party will be as wonderful and special as YOUR bridal shower. So, don't worry. There is life outside of us, but it will all be good for you.
Enjoy the planning partner!
kaklesmay
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
I would be frustrated too. If its selfish, oh well! Cant help what you feel!!
nicpizzo
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
I think it's a natural reaction. It's kind of hard not to take it personally to some degree, but don't make yourself upset or stressed over it. I agree with another bride who mentioned to talk to your mom and suggest an earlier shower then would be expected.
Try to make the best of it with maybe doing some planning together, which I know to some degree will be hard, but don't let it ruin your day and planning until then. Your day will be awesome b/c it will be your day.
CaMacho
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
I'm going through the SAME EXACT situation right now... I felt like I was reading my own thoughts.
gNi1125
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I'm in the same situation. My cousin is getting married a week before me. In the beginning I worried about how our mutual guests would react, if they would be able to afford it, if they would come to both...but then I just gave up. Now I feel if people want to see me and FH get married they will be there regardless of who is getting married and when. If not, oh, well.
LuvMyFH
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
I understand why it bothers you. I had a similar situation happen. My originally wedding date was 11/5/06, then because of my FMIL I changed it to 5/27/07.
My cousin got engaged before me but we all knew I was getting my ring before he got engaged. So I called him and Left a message saying I had to change my date and that I was thinking 5/27/07 Iam going to book it this weekend call me if there is a problem I don't want our weddings on top of each other.
No call, I go to his e-party and find out he booked it 4 weeks before me at the hall I had planned on doing it, but didn't do!!!
I was so pissed he is my first cousin and all of our family is the same. He is my cousin on my fathers side and I don't have a side on my mothers!!!!!!! It meant his sisters couldn't be in my wedding because it was too much for them and our showers and wedding would be on top of each other.
Considering I called him I was so pissed! It was the place he thought I was getting married at, how dare he!!!!!!!!!!! I found out he booked it way after I left the message. I don't know why he did it that way if it was intentional or not.
But now I am happy I am getting married when I want to I didn't want to wait till 5/07 anyways, I was doing it for FMIL and now I am having what I want!
Your in a tough spot, you can change it but I think it will cause more drama.
Tommylove
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
I agree completely, If someone gets engaged after you, they should never consider getting married before you. I think that is soooo rude, and it really taked the spotlight off you guys and your wedding. I would say something to her, especially since you set them up and without you they would never have gotten to this point.
