My cousin got engaged last week...and I am soo happy for her...she went through alot of crap with her ex and her FH is one of the nicest people ever...(FH & I take credit on this hookup ...we introduced them)
So heres the situation...They are planning on getting married next Oct...not even a month before our wedding. I'm kinda of annoyed that she would go and rush to get married before me...KNOWING that her bridal shower and mine would be around the same times, that we're family and that two weddings back to back is a big expense for family members (I'm VERY close with my cousins) and to booth we share alot of the same friends...I guess I feel that we got engaged first and we booked first...why are you rushing to get married before us? and so damn close to our wedding date...it wouldn't even be a month away they are looking at the end of Oct...PLUS our Bridal party is going to consist of the same people you know what kind of money these girls are going to have to lay out being in two weddings that close together???
Maybe I'm being a brat about this...but come on why must you get married so close to our wedding date...
It's making me miserable...
Tommylove
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I would make sure that my invitations were sent out first, this way everyone thinks of you first.
MayBride06
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Posted by Tommylove
I would make sure that my invitations were sent out first, this way everyone thinks of you first.
i do not think this is necessary. Your family honestly will be thinking of you both on your special day! Neither one of you is more important in the family. Try not to make it a competition. It's not!
Jennie0898
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I'd be annoyed. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about it. Try to make the best of it and as someone else said, now you have someone you can plan with. As for worrying about the financial burden it will have on your family - I wouldn't worry about it. Obviously, your cousin didn't.
JennJay
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How long have each of you been dating? You and your FH and her and her FH? My brother got engaged 3 months before me and me and my FH are getting married 3 months after them. I thought anything before that would be too soon, but I didn't want a really long engagement. So my engagement is 1 year and 3 months. I didn't want to get married when there would be a really high chance of snow, either so november 2006 it was. I think they definately should wait til at least a few months after you and your FH or at the least get married a few months before you, that way you still have your time.
idovig
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your not being selfish it's true. Your thinking about the bigger picture when no one else is.
Tommylove
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Posted by MayBride06
Posted by Tommylove
I would make sure that my invitations were sent out first, this way everyone thinks of you first.
i do not think this is necessary. Your family honestly will be thinking of you both on your special day! Neither one of you is more important in the family. Try not to make it a competition. It's not!
This is not to make it out to be a competition, but I really would be so made if my cousin did this to me. It is almost like she is trying to steal my spotlight, would it have killed to have her wedding even just a month after yours, why so close.
thefirstlady
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You are definitly NOT being selfish! My cousin did the same exact thing to her brother, when she wasn't even engaged yet, and booked her wedding 2 weeks after his! SHE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE AN E-RING ON HER FINGER!!!!! Plus, my friend is a victim of these rush to get married people. She was in 3 weddings this summer, and was invited to about 10 different showers, bachlorettes, and weddings, and a lot of these people were in the same friend group, so she ended up having to pick and chose what to go to and what not. I don't know if there's anything you can say to this girl that might change her mind, but maybe another family member can put it out in the open, like from the guests perspective. Now they have to come up with more money in a shorter period of time, buy dresses/shoes/etc. and take time out of their weekends! But you go ahead with your wedding and have fun! You are not being inconsiderate, she is!
mka06
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i'd be bothered by it too! sorry
candb
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Sorry to hear that. You can't control what people do.
7706bride
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You are definately not being selfish at all!!!!! i agree with a lot of the girls on the site!!!! YOU ARE NOT WRONG!!! it *****!!!! but there really is nothing you can say!! Believe me...i have been in the same situation! No matter what you say you will come out wrong...my only advice...(and i don't know how good of advice it is) is try to ignore it and remember that your day will be special no matter what.....(i know you are tired of hearing that , it is just RUDE i think. i am not saying everyone has to wait and have a long engagement, but if you are waiting a year...what's another month...pleeezzzeee if you want to talk...feel free to FM me at anytime!
October Bliss
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Re: Am I being a selfish...
Have you talked to her about it? Maybe there is a really good reason she chose October that has nothing to do with you (or upstaging you).
Since I am not in this situation I can't say that I would feel differently, but I can't say I would feel the same way either.
I would just try to talk to her about it.
Calimali
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You are NOT being selfish AT ALL. That is wrong what they did! Dont let it get you down or ruin your planning though. People just dont have common sense!
Tracy06
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you are not being selfish at all..
sarahthegreat
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flame away, but i think it is a wee bit selfish on your part - you cannot control when other people have their weddings. she may change her mind once she realizes how much is really involved in planning a wedding. if you are happy for her, help her out. give her vendor ideas and whatnot.
and the family and bp, will get through this financially. don't think so much about them. again, you have no control over that.
Soon2BeMrsS
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you should tell her all of this, maybe she doesn't realize
SummerBride06
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Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S
you should tell her all of this, maybe she doesn't realize
i agree. remember, no one thinks about YOUR wedding the way you do. she might not even realize how you feel.
i don't blame you for being upset, but there's nothing you can do
blueyes678
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You are not being selfish at all. I'd be upset too..... have you tried to talk to her or express your feelings??? Is their date set in stone yet???
scocaj
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I feel so bad for you.. honestly that is not nice of your cousin.. Both of my older cousins (0ne on both sids of the family) got engaged right around me... and me being the younger cousin and getting engaged right after them.. I decided to wait a year and let them have the spot light....
I am so sorry
MrsH1156
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I don't think you're being a brat at all. This same thing happened within my family and it did cause some tension which was not fun for anyone. I agree that you should talk to your cousin and find out if they are set on October...and if so, why. If she went through a difficult time in the past, she may not even be thinking things through and probably just wants to get married and move forward in her happiness. I'd definitely talk to her.
