Am I being crazy?? Sorry it's slightly long...

I'm a HS teacher andI teach students that don't necessarily have the best home life or have issues at home. Because of this, there are a few students that I have kept in contact with after they graduated...one student lost his mom to cancer his senior year, another students' mom had paralyzing back surgery then had breast cancer...you get the idea.

Well, some of my closest friends from work wanted to know if any past students would be invited to the weddng so they would know now if they would have to 'be on their best behavior'...

I kinda got insulted by this...why would I have to justify my wedding list to anyone?? And best behavior?? My FH's 91 year old grandfather is going to be at the wedding...are you going to act differently in front of them??? I told them that I shouldn't have to justify my wedding list to anyone and so I didn't tell them if any past students were coming.

Yes, there is one student that I'm incredibly close with that graduated HS 6 years ago and has graduated college is now a nurse. I was at her HS and college graduation...I helped her cook Thanksgiving dinner when her mom was undergoing chemo so that her brothers and sister, and dad would have something to look foward to after visiting her mom at Sloane Kettering. She would call me crying because of how worried she was about her mom and family...she's an amazing FRIEND...

Am I being rediculous and over thinking this??

Sorry so long....

Honestly, I can see both points of view here ... I understand you not wanting to go over your guest list with coworkers, as its really not their business. It's your wedding, and you should be able to invite whoever you want, without anyone questioning it. That said, I would not have been insulted over it, and I get offended fairly easily when it comes to my wedding, and the details surrounding it.

These coworkers want to make sure they don't make an example of your school, and I get that, in fact, I respect it. On the other hand, it is not their business, nor is it their wedding. They are adults, and as professionals in the Education business, they should be able to handle situations like this. What would they do, leave a bar if one of their former students were there? I think not.

Now, this goes for anyone, not just teachers. You see someone you don't want finding you in a drunken stuper? Easy fix - pace yourself.

I honestly think that you misconstrued what your friends meant when they said 'best behavior'.

For instance, when I was reading your post, the first thing that came to mind was them wanting to make sure that they don't say/do anything inappropriate that may make you look 'bad' as their teacher/former teacher.

I don't think anyone meant anything bad by it at all, and I certainly don't think the implication is that you need to, as you put it, 'justify' yourself to anyone when it comes to your guest list.

I use to work with 'at risk' youth in a residential facility, and whenever FH and I would go out somewhere, he would always ask me to let him know if I see someone I work with, so that he doesn't do anything 'silly' (like pinch my butt, or do something that would clearly be inappropriate for these kids to see).

This is just my take on the sitatuion--hopefully, it may help you see an alternate perspective

Unfortunately, they wanted to know so that they didn't get totally wasted, but meanwhile these fellow teachers have never cared before....they've danced on bars, got to the Boardy Barn where past students seemed to turn up. And have never cared before...

I udnerstand that we're teachers and that we represent a school district, trust me I do...but it really p*ssed me off. Are cops on their best behavior becasue they represent a city/town? Are lawyers on their best behavior becasue they represent a aw firm? Are business men on their best behavior becasue they represent a wall street firm?


EDITED FOR APOLOGY...
Sorry to rant...things have just been taking their toll on me...things seem to be going very wrong the past couple weeks and this just added to it....