Am I being mean?

Has his sister even expressed interest in being in the BP or is this coming just from the mom? Since she is older, she might not even want to do the whole bridesmaid thing! If it is really important to FH that she be in the wedding then I would say ask. If he doesn't care/they are not so close and it is just his mom saying this, then I would have her do a reading but that is JMO..

The whole reason I even mentioned her age is that I will be 41 when I walk down the aisle (yes I am officially too old to be worrying about this garbage) and ALL of my girlfriends have already said that they feel too old to be bridesmaids at this point. Quite frankly, if any of them were getting married at this age, I would say the same thing. I just think at this point, I wouldn't be offended if someone didn't ask me to be in their bridal party. Believe it or not, I've been in bridal parties and now I don't talk to the brides any more so to me, it's not a big deal.

The whole reason I'm even just having my sisters is because I couldn't ask one of them and not the other which is why they both have the MOH title AND they have to do it because they're my sisters!

What annoyed me most of all is that this is his MOTHER'S idea. I had originally asked FH if he would ask his sister to do a reading. He must have told his mother this and his mother was p i s s e d because she wasn't going to be in the wedding party. It's not that I don't like his sister, I just don't know her at all, so it's strange. I suggested to him that he include her in with his groomsmen and he said 'no' because even HE'S not close to her. He had to ask his mother her last name and she's been married for 6 years!!!

i think you and your Fh should discuss it further, i know he probably doesnt want to to have to deal with his mother and her complaining to him.
Think of it this way its another person that you can put to work!! i hope it all works out for you!

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Posted by geegee827

The whole reason I even mentioned her age is that I will be 41 when I walk down the aisle (yes I am officially too old to be worrying about this garbage) and ALL of my girlfriends have already said that they feel too old to be bridesmaids at this point. Quite frankly, if any of them were getting married at this age, I would say the same thing. I just think at this point, I wouldn't be offended if someone didn't ask me to be in their bridal party. Believe it or not, I've been in bridal parties and now I don't talk to the brides any more so to me, it's not a big deal.

The whole reason I'm even just having my sisters is because I couldn't ask one of them and not the other which is why they both have the MOH title AND they have to do it because they're my sisters!

What annoyed me most of all is that this is his MOTHER'S idea. I had originally asked FH if he would ask his sister to do a reading. He must have told his mother this and his mother was p i s s e d because she wasn't going to be in the wedding party. It's not that I don't like his sister, I just don't know her at all, so it's strange. I suggested to him that he include her in with his groomsmen and he said 'no' because even HE'S not close to her. He had to ask his mother her last name and she's been married for 6 years!!!

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IMO I wouldn't ask her at this point.. Aside from the fact that you guys arent close, if you only have two MOHs and no other BMs that might even feel weird for her, let alone you! Not only that, if FH doesn't want her on his side why should you have her on yours?? I know a lot of people wont agree with me but if I was in that situation I would ask her to do a reading and call it a day!

I think you're right. I'm going to ask her to do a reading and that's it.

Thanks, girls.

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Posted by NikkiR515

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Posted by geegee827

The whole reason I even mentioned her age is that I will be 41 when I walk down the aisle (yes I am officially too old to be worrying about this garbage) and ALL of my girlfriends have already said that they feel too old to be bridesmaids at this point. Quite frankly, if any of them were getting married at this age, I would say the same thing. I just think at this point, I wouldn't be offended if someone didn't ask me to be in their bridal party. Believe it or not, I've been in bridal parties and now I don't talk to the brides any more so to me, it's not a big deal.

The whole reason I'm even just having my sisters is because I couldn't ask one of them and not the other which is why they both have the MOH title AND they have to do it because they're my sisters!

What annoyed me most of all is that this is his MOTHER'S idea. I had originally asked FH if he would ask his sister to do a reading. He must have told his mother this and his mother was p i s s e d because she wasn't going to be in the wedding party. It's not that I don't like his sister, I just don't know her at all, so it's strange. I suggested to him that he include her in with his groomsmen and he said 'no' because even HE'S not close to her. He had to ask his mother her last name and she's been married for 6 years!!!

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IMO I wouldn't ask her at this point.. Aside from the fact that you guys arent close, if you only have two MOHs and no other BMs that might even feel weird for her, let alone you! Not only that, if FH doesn't want her on his side why should you have her on yours?? I know a lot of people wont agree with me but if I was in that situation I would ask her to do a reading and call it a day!

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I agree Nikki if he doesnt want her in it then I wouldnt ask. FH has only one sis and I have one brother they are both in our party BUT we both wanted it that way! I would stick with ur orig idea and ask her to do a reading good luck

ok - just spoke to FH - he's going to ask his sister to do a reading. He said he doesn't even really want to do that, but I've convinced him that he has to. Too bad if his mother doesn't like it.

depending on your FHs relationship with his sis i would ask - its not just YOUR wedding, its both of your weddings and i think she should be included if they have some kind of brother/sister relationship - i dont know, i feel like the people you chose are standing up there for both of you and if i had a brother, even if my FH wasnt close with him i would want him to be a groomsmen and be up there with us.....does that make any sense?

if they arent close then i guess its different but if they get along i think its the right thing to do

it gets even worse!!!

he calls his sister and asks her to do a reading. At first she was all 'I'm so glad you asked, etc....' and then says that she knows their mother wants her to be in the bridal party but at 39 she's not really into being a bridesmaid any more. Then she says what's the date again - he tells her 11/14/09 and she says she's really busy at work in November and she HOPES she and her husband can even come up for the wedding!!!!

He now officially can't stand her, I'm trying to keep the peace and I hate his mother for even stirring up this hornets nest!!!

GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by geegee827

it gets even worse!!!

he calls his sister and asks her to do a reading. At first she was all 'I'm so glad you asked, etc....' and then says that she knows their mother wants her to be in the bridal party but at 39 she's not really into being a bridesmaid any more. Then she says what's the date again - he tells her 11/14/09 and she says she's really busy at work in November and she HOPES she and her husband can even come up for the wedding!!!!

He now officially can't stand her, I'm trying to keep the peace and I hate his mother for even stirring up this hornets nest!!!

GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

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ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????????? Good thing you DIDN'T ask her to be a BM because she obviously does not deserve the honor!!!!!

FH says not to let this bother me that this is one of the reasons he's not close with her.....if she's not the center of attention, she doesn't want to be involved in anything. I am trying to keep my mouth shut because it's still his sister and I don't want to upset him any futher.

I will smile and put on my happy face IF she shows up at the wedding.....if not, oh well. We're going to have a great time with a big party and she'll miss it.

Of course, he spoke to his mother to tell her what happened and she's like 'poor Amy - she works so hard!!!' I want to scream! She operates a ride in Tomorrowland at Disneyworld and SHE works hard?????

Thank you all for letting me vent.

I'm glad you decided what you did. That seems so strange of her, its her brothers wedding!

I feel much better that I made the decision I made!

I don't know how FH turned out so normal when his family is so screwed up! Their behavior just doesn't make any sense to me

It's your wedding do what you want and what makes you happy but I can see both sides of the fence.

I would be deeply hurt if I was not in my brothers wedding.

If she was younger I would say suck it up and let her be in it..but 40 and married already!!! Why doesn't she just save the money it would cost to be in the wedding and do something with her family?? Ok that was mean. But I would see if FH really wanted her in it...if so then let him have his sister in it....you can still keep it small you don't have to add another guy or anything like that

Apparently she doesn't seem to care if she even ATTENDS her brother's wedding!!!!

I personally don't care if she's there or not - like I said, I have absolutely no relationship with her, but I know FH is upset about it even if he says he isn't. It's just not right. My family is strange sometimes (isn't everybody's) but this is just to strange for me!