So FH husband just calls me and says his mother has made a request. She would like me to have his sister in the wedding party. No big deal, right? Except that his sister lives in FL (his whole family does) - I've met her 5 times in 2 years AND we just don't have a close relationship.
Also, I wanted to keep my bridal party really small. Just my 2 sisters, both as maids of honor. Now, I have to have his sister???
It's his only sibling so if I say no, I'm a biatch! Oh and let me add that it's not like his sister is some young thing, she's almost 40 and married!
Am I really being mean about the whole thing? I was really hoping to just have this special thing with MY 2 sisters.
BlueEyes
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Re: Am I being mean?
It's your wedding...I would do what makes you happy
tammi2308
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Re: Am I being mean?
No, you're not being mean. Now, this is JMO. It IS is sister, a lil older...lol, but still his big sister and only sibling. I think that maybe you should really consider it.Find out how you FH feels about it. Perhaps, it would mean a lot to him or maybe he doesn't care, idk. JMO...
MrsList09
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Re: Am I being mean?
How does FH feel about it? If it's really important to him, maybe do it but if not, then I'd say no. It's your wedding and if you're not super close, have her do a reading or something.
egem523
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Re: Am I being mean?
How does you fh feel about having his sister in the bridal. If he close to his sister and wants her in the party then I think you should consider. If you have had a brother that you were close too wouldn't you want him in your bridal party?
I know would.
JMO I never understand why people care about age and if the person is married. I feel that the whole purpose of a bridal party is to be by your side and give you support for your special day. Why should it matter if they are married, preggo or over a certain age.
JC297
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Re: Am I being mean?
my sister in law didnt ask me and my feelings were hurt. Worse than anything was all the people asking me why I wasnt in the wedding party.
If you dont want to include her in the wedding party, I would think of some other way to make her feel apart of your day. Maybe a reading, or handing out programs or something else.
JennyAPH
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Re: Am I being mean?
Talk to Fh about it.. if it means alot to him then consider it, if not then tell her you had your heart set on your two sisters
Dr Meg
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I was sort of in the same situation (except I see FH's sister more often) but I left the decision up to him. It's his family and if he wanted her in the BP I wasn't going to take that away from him. We asked her, along with the other girls, at our e-party. I got the 'will you be my bridesmaid' cookies and had cards made. FSIL was almost in tears thats how touched she was. So it was nice to see that she really appreciated it.
kweber322
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Re: Am I being mean?
I'd ask her to do a reading. My Fh has 2 sisters too who are older and I'm not really close too - one made it clear she didn't want to be in the bridal party (another issue) but the other one we weren't sure about so we just asked her to do a reading.
Cacarina
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Re: Am I being mean?
I don't know, I think you should just have her. I am having FH's sister in my wedding party. At least you know she'll be in your life forever...
PrincyJo
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Re: Am I being mean?
I think even tho it's the girls, it's a wedding for both. I am putting fh cousin in who he was veryyyy close with growing up. She lives in IL and I only see her on holidays but it would mean a lot to him and his family, so I want her to be a part. He's putting 2 of my cousins and my brother in law on his side.
PROBM
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Re: Am I being mean?
no you are not being mean... but i think she shoudl be involoved and maybe stand on his side .. i have been to multiple weddings where i see that all the time and i think its wonderful
debzy
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Re: Am I being mean?
Honestly, I'd make her a bridesmaid. Here me out...
1. You will still have a small bridal party. Three women is small and managable.
2. You may have only met her a few times but she will be your SIL your entire life. You have a lifetime to get to know her.
3. I have a friend getting married next weekend. She is not having any bridal party. However, her future SIL is totally offended and hurt that she wasn't asked to stand up at the wedding. She wishes she could be a part of her brother's wedding.
4. Why make a potential enemy now? It's such an easy compromise.
Obviously if you have any major reasons against having her in your wedding, then leave her out. Maybe you could find another way to include her?
BarbieGrl10
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Re: Am I being mean?
Its your wedding. Could you just have her do a reading? that way she is still a special part of your day?
baba022
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Think about it. Just becuase it is his only sister. FH's sister is in her early 40's and married. I didnt even question her being in it, but also, I am not having a really small wedding party. She was actually surprised that I asked her!!! (Cause we really arent that close...)
Is this coming from his mom or from his sis????
AugustBridein09
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Posted by BlueEyes
It's your wedding...I would do what makes you happy
I agree
baba022
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Posted by BarbieGrl10
Its your wedding. Could you just have her do a reading? that way she is still a special part of your day?
You can do this too....
MrsLarrea2B
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Re: Am I being mean?
I personally dont think its a big deal. I think you might start a lot of drama by not asking her. I think that you should ask her to be in the bridal party. Y Aske her and see if she wants to. She might say no. You will have the rest of your lifetime to P i s s off FH and his family. Pick your battles. Again, just my advice.
stinenandy2010
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Re: Am I being mean?
'10 Crashing - We have a similar problem. FH has a sister in her late 30's. We don't have a close relationship but I asked her about it and she said she is over the whole bridal party thing at her age. Instead, we are having her children in our bridal party. One is a junior groomsman and the other will have a special job...like handing out the programs or something.
I like the other girls suggestion of having her do a reading.
Karsav7096
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Re: Am I being mean?
Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Whats wrong with 40????? I will be 39 when I get married next year and I don't feel old but guys are saying 40 like it's old!!! Don't you know 40 is the new 30!!! PS most of my friends are younger then me and I can still hang and party like a rockstar!!!
