Am I being petty???

christy Posted: Jan 26, 2003 12:19 AM

Am I being petty???

I am wearing a strapless gown, and I really dont want my FMIL to wear a strapless gown too. I expressed this many times, of course the only dresses she has liked have been strapless. I know she is doing it out of spite. So tomorrow I am going with her to see these dresses, can I stand up for myself and tell her NO WAY, or do I let her get want she wants. She also told me to bring a pic of my dress, because she thinks one she chose was similar! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It better not be white!!!!!!!!!!
What do I do ladies?

avesur Posted: Jan 26, 2003 12:30 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

Sorry that you are so upset, but why your FMIL can't wear a strapless dress? As far as it is not the same color than your gown ... I think it is OK. If she truly wants to go strapless, I would let her. In any case, some of your guests also can show up strapless, and you don't have control over it.

What makes you unique that day is that 'you are the bride' and no matter what, you are your FH are the stars of that night!

good luck,

Elena

dkga1026 Posted: Jan 26, 2003 12:38 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

christy, don'y worry about not looking unique...my whole BP and my mom all wore strapless like me, it means nothing...i was still The Bride...and you will be too...if the gowns are flattering, let your FMIl wear one, if not, then be honest with her

sept20yay! Posted: Jan 26, 2003 12:40 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

the only part that bothers me is that she said- she thinks her dress is similar to yours? WTF kind of comment is that! That is a little strange... she really SHOULD NOT wear white nor should it be a ballgown that touches or comes close to what a bridal dress would look like...

cluelessbride Posted: Jan 26, 2003 08:28 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

Christy let us know how this turned out - I think it's weird that she said the dresses might be similar - how could a MIL dress be similar to a bridal gown? Arrghh!

The strapless part I wouldn't worry about.

christy Posted: Jan 26, 2003 09:15 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

Thanks ladies, I couldnt sleep last night because of this. I swear this woman hates me. She has never worn a strapless gown in her life, and now decides too. She keeps reminding me that she was only 92 pounds on her wedding day. Basically she will try her best to pick something that looks like my gown just to upset me. Basically said: IT ALWAYS HAS TO BE ALL ABOUT HER!

natasha Posted: Jan 26, 2003 09:27 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

I wouldn't worry about her wearing a strapless dress. However, I would be concerned about it being similar to yours. Hope it works out.

Niecey Posted: Jan 26, 2003 09:28 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

I think there is no reason why your FMIL can't wear strapless but I think she is wrong to consider a dress that may look similar to yours. I went thru a similar situation with my MIL. I gave no ground rules to the moms and figured no way would they consider ivory (my dress color) - that would be too inappropriate. After a really long story, my DH told me his mom got her dress and described it to me (I was mad she didn't tell me because thru all the wedding all she talked about was shopping for her dress and how important it was it her)....well I guess she didn't tell me because from my DH's description - it sounded way similar to mine - ivory lace. I flipped on him. Wound up come that day, the first time I saw it or really heard anything more about it....it was ivory lace but over a bronze material. It wasn't too similar...I think deep down she knew it was similar and that is why she never mentioned it to me.

I think if your MIL's dress is similar - tell her so. Say it would make me very inconfortable if you wore that dress. If it is just strapless but way different - let it slide - you have too much more to stress about as the bride! You will stand out. Because you will be glowing!

jennbaby Posted: Jan 26, 2003 09:31 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

Christy before my girls went for their dresses, I didn't want anyone to be strapless except for me.

When the girls went, we decided on all different dresses and one chose a strapless, put it on and I loved it on her. I suddenly forget about it being strapless & I didn't care. My mom is also strapless & she looks beautiful in her dress!

I think the bride stands out no matter what. Don't worry, you will look so gorgeous, you will be the center of attention !

NovemberSue Posted: Jan 26, 2003 09:36 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

I don't see anything wrong with your FMIL wearing a strapless. The attention is still going to be on you because you are the bride.

christy Posted: Jan 26, 2003 09:39 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

Ok, I am willing to let the strapless thing go. But, I will not allow anything that resembles my gown, either style or color! This is a rational as I can be about it. I tell ya ladies I still have 2+ months and I am losing it big time!!!!!!!!!!!!

jennbaby Posted: Jan 26, 2003 09:42 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

I agree with you there christy!!! Good Luck

NovemberSue Posted: Jan 26, 2003 09:44 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

The style or color can't be like yours.Thats just a little too much of her!

Stacey1403 Posted: Jan 26, 2003 09:55 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

I was completely paranoid that my MIL would wear an ivory gown. So I totally feel your pain. She wound up wearing black so all was well. Christy your FH needs to say something to his mother not you! Whenever I had any kind of dispute about the wedding I made him deal with his family. It made it a lot easier Good luck

Terrier412 Posted: Jan 26, 2003 10:10 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

Honestly, there may be nothing 'wrong' with your FMIL wearing a strapless dress -- but if it makes you uncomfortable or unhappy, she should defer to you. It's your day..... You have every right, IMHO, to be upset.

As for as it being similar to your dress, that's even more ridiculous! What about your FH? What does he say about all this? Does he have any powers of persuasion over his mother?

My only advice is to speak up in a polite manner.

Keep us posted

christy Posted: Jan 26, 2003 11:53 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

My Fh has been ignored my his mom for 3 weeks, because he put her in her place over another issue about the wedding! So, even if he said anything to her it would not matter, she is mean mean mean!

blushingbride2003 Posted: Jan 26, 2003 11:56 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

If you think she would really wear a dress similar to yours (which I think is a total beotch thing to do), maybe you can describe a totally different dress and bring a pic of a different dress. This way she'll try her best to find something similar to a dress that isn't yours.

christy Posted: Jan 26, 2003 11:58 AM

Re: Am I being petty???

ooooooooh blushing bride...I like the way you think! She asked me to bring a pic of my gown today too. She is up to something!

Stacey1403 Posted: Jan 26, 2003 02:37 PM

Re: Am I being petty???

I totally agree with blushingbride

sept20yay! Posted: Jan 26, 2003 02:54 PM

Re: Am I being petty???

I love that idea!!! Perfect!!! She probably wants to make sure her dress is nicer or somthing!!! Such jealousy in these types of women.... You must psych her out!