Am I Being Selfish-a lil long sorry

amstellitelady Posted: Nov 08, 2005 10:06 AM

Am I Being Selfish-a lil long sorry

I am getting married on a friday. I want to have the rehearsal and dinner on wednesday night so kevin and i can relax or do last minute things thursday. now, i am in a bowling league on wednesday nights and 2 of my BM's r also in it. the night of the rehearsal would be the last night of league. One of them emailed me and said she has to be at league cause she hands out the money. the other hasn't responded yet. my brother just emailed me and told me that he and my SIL won't be able to make it cause they have school and work and for my brother to graduate he has to continue to student teach right to the end. and my SIL has a thesis due that week.

Now, i understand they have school and work, but i've been getting married since sept of 2004 and i've told them in the past that i would probably have the rehearsal 2 dayz before the wedding. even if i had it on thurs they still wouldn't make it. they were gonna drive down after school thursday night (they live in syracuse). HELLO, I'M GETTING MARRIED THE NEXT DAY!!!!

my BM can go !@#$$%^^&. She can't count out the money tuesday night!!!!!

i'm so upset about this i called my FI crying.

Am I right in being mad and upset or am I being selfish.

ChrissynRicky Posted: Nov 08, 2005 10:10 AM

Re: Am I Being Selfish-a lil long sorry

Honestly, I would have the Rehersal Dinner on the weekend before. A weekday is tough, and you have to understand that yes, people made a committment to you as a bridal party, but they do have other aspects in their life that they have to attend to.

I don't think you're being selfish, and you have a right to how you feel, but don't get so frustrated. There is time and weekends are a lot easier.

mtdr1106 Posted: Nov 08, 2005 10:13 AM

Re: Am I Being Selfish-a lil long sorry

not at all!!! i agree with you 100%

especially because these are really important people in the wedding!!!

don't cry - people sometimes just say dumb things w/o thinking.

once the wedding gets closer - i am sure everyone will change their tune. in actuality the rehersal is only about an hour and then whatever kind of dinner party.... i think they are definitely being selfish - i understand everyone has their own thing going on - but lets get real here!!

JCam695 Posted: Nov 08, 2005 10:16 AM

Re: Am I Being Selfish-a lil long sorry

If you have to do it on Wednesday, do it on Wednesday. You have to you what is best for you.

Don't stress if they won't be there. There will always be someone who can't make the RD whenever you have it.

ETA: I already know that 1 girl in my BP can't make the rehearsal, but it's not that big of a deal.

amstellitelady Posted: Nov 08, 2005 10:24 AM

Re: Am I Being Selfish-a lil long sorry

Posted by ChristineAE

Honestly, I would have the Rehersal Dinner on the weekend before. A weekday is tough, and you have to understand that yes, people made a committment to you as a bridal party, but they do have other aspects in their life that they have to attend to.

I don't think you're being selfish, and you have a right to how you feel, but don't get so frustrated. There is time and weekends are a lot easier.

I would love to do it the weekend before, but I can't because 4 out of the 10 in the bridal party are OOT's.

ChrissynRicky Posted: Nov 08, 2005 10:27 AM

Re: Am I Being Selfish-a lil long sorry

Posted by amstellitelady

Posted by ChristineAE

Honestly, I would have the Rehersal Dinner on the weekend before. A weekday is tough, and you have to understand that yes, people made a committment to you as a bridal party, but they do have other aspects in their life that they have to attend to.

I don't think you're being selfish, and you have a right to how you feel, but don't get so frustrated. There is time and weekends are a lot easier.

I would love to do it the weekend before, but I can't because 4 out of the 10 in the bridal party are OOT's.

In that case, you have to do what's best for you. It's difficult to have 100% from everyone, but do the best you can.

Is it possible to have it on the Thursday? I know you don't want to be that stressed out the night before, but it might be a happy medim for everyone. Besides, a RD should not be stressful. It should be intimate, a time to cool down and reflect the upcoming event.

October Bliss Posted: Nov 08, 2005 10:29 AM

Re: Am I Being Selfish-a lil long sorry

I don't think you're being selfish at all. Your wedding, your way. With the bowling league thing however, there are people not in your wedding that are counting on those in your wedding. Is it possible to do the rehersal on Tuesday? If not, perhaps you can change the time around a bit (either start earlier so everyone can get to bowling, or start later), so that those people that are having a problem with the timing can make it work for them.

thefirstlady Posted: Nov 08, 2005 10:31 AM

Re: Am I Being Selfish-a lil long sorry

You are not selfish and have every right to be mad. It's not like you sat there trying to think of ways to inconvenience people 2 nights before your wedding, you NEED to do a rehearsal!!! I just don't understand how someone in a BP can not go to a rehearsal!!! They are adults and should have made the neccessary arrangements to go!! It's just wrong and I think you and FH should talk to them!

carlsbride Posted: Nov 08, 2005 10:37 AM

Re: Am I Being Selfish-a lil long sorry

You have a right to feel what you feel, but unfortunately you can't make people re-prioritize their schedules.

Half of my Bridal Party is from out of town, plus my mom, I hope that they can make it to the rehearsal dinner, but if they can't, they can't. We are having it on a Thursday since our wedding is early Sat morning. I have already told FMIL that all of my family might not be able to make it up to NY that soon, people do have lives.

If they can't make it, I am sure they will be able to figure out what to do for the ceremony, it is not too difficult. Sorry & Good Luck!

Blu-ize Posted: Nov 08, 2005 10:37 AM

Re: Am I Being Selfish-a lil long sorry

do you need to do a rehearsal at all? I didn't have one and I just was in a wedding and we didn't have one.

A rehearsal is not a necessity-it's nice to have one, but in your case, this might not work out.

amstellitelady Posted: Nov 08, 2005 10:49 AM

Re: Am I Being Selfish-a lil long sorry

thank you ladies. i feel a little better. i just figured everyone would not just have to be there but would want to. especially my brother. i think i will keep it for wednesday cause its what i want and if they don't make it they don't make it.

thank u