Am I being too controlling?

jessamyn78 Posted: Oct 23, 2007 05:36 PM

Am I being too controlling?

My mom and I spoke about what I wanted for my shower: theme, menu, etc. We even looked at places together. My shower is booked for April and since I didn't want a surprise, I don't mind knowing the date. Now, I am finding some ideas to go with the theme and emailing them out. I got an email in caps today telling me to: STOP LOOKING FOR THINGS FOR THE SHOWER. BACK OFF, IT'S UNDER CONTROL!

Am I being too pushy? You can be honest!

hwolf812 Posted: Oct 23, 2007 05:37 PM

Re: Am I being too controlling?

Posted by jessamyn78

My mom and I spoke about what I wanted for my shower: theme, menu, etc. We even looked at places together. My shower is booked for April and since I didn't want a surprise, I don't mind knowing the date. Now, I am finding some ideas to go with the theme and emailing them out. I got an email in caps today telling me to: STOP LOOKING FOR THINGS FOR THE SHOWER. BACK OFF, IT'S UNDER CONTROL!

Am I being too pushy? You can be honest!

i wanna know everything too, but i think somethings need to be a surprise!

MikeandJess Posted: Oct 23, 2007 05:39 PM

Re: Am I being too controlling?

While I'm sure some of your input is appreciated, i think your family and friends are trying to do something nice for you and would rather have you not help plan the whole thing.

jennandrolo Posted: Oct 23, 2007 05:39 PM

Re: Am I being too controlling?

im gonna have to say no because im involved in planning mine lol. i need to know everything. my mom out of nowhere tried to tell me on saturday that she doesnt want me to know the date. i flipped out lol. i already designed the invites and everything so im making sure i know everything.

nifheim Posted: Oct 23, 2007 05:41 PM

Re: Am I being too controlling?

i would say yes only because i think mom's really want to show off at the shower. They want to be in control and if you push too much it might bite you.

jessamyn78 Posted: Oct 23, 2007 05:42 PM

Re: Am I being too controlling?

My mom just has a habit of planning things to her tastes and telling me that I have the same taste!

minibride08 Posted: Oct 23, 2007 05:43 PM

Re: Am I being too controlling?

YES- JMHO... I think if you are lucky enough to have a shower thrown for you... you should not be involved with the planning & be happy with what is planned for you. If you're paying for it and throwing it for yourself, sure then you have a right to say what's what....

ant n tilde Posted: Oct 23, 2007 05:59 PM

Re: Am I being too controlling?

back off!!
and i can say this to you bc i have the same problem, except with the bachelorette party

i emailed my list, where i wanted to go and when i wanted to do it - first i picked out the activities then the actual spa where i want it

but then i realized that i was probably REALLY hurting my cousin's feelings by doing this - like she couldnt do it on her own so i backed off

i think you need to let them surprise you with the details

Espo22 Posted: Oct 23, 2007 06:04 PM

Re: Am I being too controlling?

i say yeah back off a bit and let your mom do her thing. This is something she is doing for you and probably means alot to her, so let her have her moment. I mean listen you know your mom loves you and wants just the best for you, even if the menu is not the exact one you want or she picks different flowers, it wont take away from your shower, its gonna be about being with close friends and family and them being there for you, the menu and the flowers wont be what really touches you that day but everyones love is what will be most important. The way i see it, whats more important-to get the perfect menu or to give your mom her moment to do this for you

jgl Posted: Oct 23, 2007 06:05 PM

Re: Am I being too controlling?

.. leave some stuff to them. they are prob realyl excited. you are prob taking care of all the wedding plans and parents and BMs enjoy the planning of the shower. It might be nice for a few things to be a surprise!

missliss Posted: Oct 23, 2007 07:52 PM

Re: Am I being too controlling?

Posted by jessamyn78

My mom just has a habit of planning things to her tastes and telling me that I have the same taste!

This is my big worry. I tend to HATE the things my mom likes and she'll always show me things and say, 'you like this right?' and I'm like , are you kidding?!?!?!?!

ChristineAaron08 Posted: Oct 23, 2007 08:00 PM

Re: Am I being too controlling?

They were asking for ideas, but probably planned something already.

Just let them do their thing. They probably want to surprise you.

Im going to know about my shower also- so just repeat this back to me down the road..haha

jsta76 Posted: Oct 23, 2007 08:06 PM

Re: Am I being too controlling?

Posted by MikeandJess

While I'm sure some of your input is appreciated, i think your family and friends are trying to do something nice for you and would rather have you not help plan the whole thing.

I have to agree with this.

Something similar happened to me, I thought there were some issues and I started emailing my sister left and right with places and ideas. Soon after I got the email also telling me to back off, enjoy and not to worry so much.

They want everything to be special for you which is really sweet.

kristi313 Posted: Oct 23, 2007 08:06 PM

Re: Am I being too controlling?

i'm going to have to say yes, kinda. she wants to do this for you. she's been waiting forever to do it for you. have faith in your mommy. it will be great. you have enough to plan with the wedding. learn to delegate darlin!