to want/expect my sister and BIL to be at the rehearsal dinner? They are flying in Fri. night with my 1 and 1/2 yr. old nephew and the rehearsal is the next night at 6pm. She said its too late for him, he needs to go to sleep and so they can't come. She's my co-MOH with my other sister. And at the ceremony, it is probably his nap time so my BIL won't be there nor the baby.
Am I being unreasonable? I don't have kids, so I don't know what its like. I know kids have their schedules, but can't it be changed a little - by an hour or so? I'm not asking for him to go to bed at 12am - I'm asking until 7:30.
I'm upset b/c she couldn't come up to my shower b/c it was too much with the baby - and I understood, but now she won't even be at the RD.
Please tell me, especially those with kids, if I should try to be more understanding.
Thanks!
sarahthegreat
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Re: Am I being unreasonable...
no, i don't think you are being unreasonable. they can make arrangements to be at the rd, i think they are just taking the easy way out
VadersBride2006
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Re: Am I being unreasonable...
No, you are not being unreasonable. I have 3 kids and most of the time we try to keep them to their schedule. But for something like a wedding, anniversary, even a birthday party once in a while, disrupting their schedule is NOT going to hurt them! If she is that concerned, maybe you can find a pack -n- play for the child to sleep in during the party, or perhaps her husband could take the child back to the hotel after the rehearsal. If she's in the WP she should definitely be at the rehearsal, even if she doesn't stay for the party after.
spooks
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Re: Am I being unreasonable...
I called her back and asked her what if we got our cosuins to babysit and she said she doesn't think so b/c the next day at the wedding he may have a babysitter and it may be too upsetting to him. We are having our cousin watch him at the wedding to help my sister out and then we're hoping he'll sleep in the bridal suite in a pack and play or they'll go back to my mom's. She feels he may not be able to sleep around all the commotion.
klingklang77
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Re: Am I being unreasonable...
i dont think you are being unreasonable at all. she should be at the rehearsal so she knows what to do for the ceremony.
VadersBride2006
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Re: Am I being unreasonable...
You may not be able to do anything about her intents, but please know you are absolutely NOT being unreasonable. If this was such a problem, why didn't her husband just stay home with the baby? I don't want to be nosy, but could there be some other reason why she is acting this way?
jenheartsrob
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Re: Am I being unreasonable...
I don't have kids, but I don't think you're asking too much of her.... she shouldn't have agreed to be in the WP if it was too much of an inconvenience for her to attend these things, ya know? Im sorry :(
espresso
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Re: Am I being unreasonable...
i wasnt at my own sister's rehearsal dinner and I was MOH! i wouldnt worry about it. it is hard for kids to be up in foriegn environments 2 days in a row, and she may not want to do it (even tho it's feasible).
it will work out even if she doesnt come. don't over press it.
spooks
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Re: Am I being unreasonable...
Thanks. I guess I also feel funny b/c there will be others there with kids the exact same age and they're staying for the dinner. And this is my own sister who isn't. I know its different b/c she's coming from another state whereas they are not - it just hurts is all. But you're right - there are so many other things to think about and worry about - it is what it is I guess.
Thanks all!
anglbyme
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Re: Am I being unreasonable...
Wow! Not unreasonable at all! This is your wedding and your rd, they should be able to break the rules and be there nap time or bed time! One day will not hurt the routine.
mskittynj
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Re: Am I being unreasonable...
No I do not think you're being unreasonable at all! I think it's messed up that they can't bend a little for you....You have every right to be mad, I would def. say something!!! XOXOXO Kitty
bride2b24
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Re: Am I being unreasonable...
your def not.....you only get married once... and the baby can miss an hour of sleep ONCE
babybug631
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Re: Am I being unreasonable...
No. You are not being unreasonable at all. Yeah kids have schedules, but sometimes life gets in the way and you need to improvise. Your sister needs to realize that its your time and you need her there. She needs to stop being selfish.
EJSD2006
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Re: Am I being unreasonable...
i feel the same way. my sister and BIL are the same with their 2 sons and it drives me crazy. my nephews won't be at my wedding because they have to stay on their sleeping schedule (8pm) and since my reception is in the evening she can't bring them. she's going to drop them off at BIL''s mom's house for the night. But it makes me so angry because I love my nephews and really wanted to dance with them at the reception. all i know is i won't be a dictator when i have kids. i'm a firm believer in bending the rules sometimes!
I don't think it is unreasonable but she has a point about the next day being the wedding. You don't want his whole schedule thrown off and then be crabby at your wedding forcing them to leave or something like that. I wouldn't worry too much over the rehersal dinner
