Am I being unreasonable? Very long...UPDATED!

As some of you may know, FH and I have been having some major stuff going on lately and have had to change our wedding plans. Originally, we were planning a Sunday afternoon wedding for approximately 200 people at the Woodbury Country Club. It was to be a typical Long Island wedding with all the trimmings and as close to the wedding of my dreams as we could afford.

Since the end of February, when our problems really started, FH expressed concerns over whether we should have the big '4-hour party' (I hate calling it that, even though a wedding really is a party) or if we should consider alternatives. After a while, I finally agreed that maybe we should scale back a bit and we were going to cut our guest list in half and look for a really nice restaurant that could cater 100 people for the wedding.

Recently, though, I finally snapped and got fed up with all the bullsh*t that we were dealing with and finally gave in and told FH that we should just have a small, intimate wedding with our families and bridal party, which is approximately 30 people. I told FH that if we were going to go so small, that I wanted it to be the most elegant, high class small affair we could afford. Afterall, it is still our wedding and although I agreed to this, I still need this to have some semblance of the wedding of my dreams that I put aside, even though I knew it was the rational thing to do.

FH has not done anything to help find a new place for our July 15 wedding. We looked at one place, a very well-known and expensive venue that we could never afford to have a big wedding at, and have plans to go to another on Wednesday, but I work all day and can't always make phone calls to set up other appointments. FH is not working because he is sick, but by sick, I mean he has good days and bad days and just really can't leave the house for long periods of time. Nothing debilitating most of the time. He certainly could make phone calls.

Anyway, tonight when I told him we need to set up more appointments, he said that we should just go with the first place we went to and have our wedding there.

Here's my problem. He thinks that we should have like a 2 hour affair with no cocktail hour and no music. Basically, he refers to it as us getting married and then going to lunch. My feeling is that we are having a very small wedding with the people we love the most. We are asking people to travel for a Thursday daytime wedding, take time off from work, and pretty much rearrange their lives on short notice. This is the only wedding we are ever going to have, and these are the most important people in the world to us, and frankly, we deserve to have a wedding, too. To me, this means that if we're going to have a wedding at an expensive, elegant place, we don't cheap out on it. We have hors d'oeuvres and a nice fruit presentation for a cocktail hour (smaller scale, but still something) and we have a nice, relaxing 3 hour sit-down luncheon, with music so that we can still have our first dance and so I can dance with my father and people can have something to do other than talk and eat.

For some reason, I feel like he wants to somehow make our wedding less of an event. Other things he's said or done have also made me feel this way. My bottom line is that if we are going to do this and have a wedding that has required me to compromise a great deal, causing me great sadness, the least we can do is make this the best small wedding we could possibly have (still well within the new budget we set), and let the people we have chosen to be there know how much we appreciate them.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking that you can have a full wedding reception for 30 people, especially if you're having it at a really nice place?

Thanks if you made it this far! I'm just feeling kind of alone in this right now and was wondering if I'm overreacting or if I'm crazy to think this is appropriate.