I've been so stressed out lately because of the RSVP's. More people than we thought are replying yes, we only have two no's. But the other day, we got responses for a party of 9 (2 were invited, but they decided to bring their 6 children PLUS one of the daughter's boyfriend); a party of 3 (aunt HAD to bring her two step-sisters that I don't know); a party of 2 (I invited two of my close friends who are engaged, she couldn't go so they decided to swap her seat for another friend that I decided not to invite because we're not close. They decided since I would've counted them as two it didn't matter who the second person was), etc.
I've been SO stressed about the money and my FH got annoyed at me yesterday saying it wasn't all about money.
But we don't have it and we don't know/want those people there, so I feel like I'm wasting money for no reason!! Am I being cheap/bridezillaish? I mean most of them ARE family....
FutureMrsCarrieri
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
Posted by fujamaga
I've been so stressed out lately because of the RSVP's. More people than we thought are replying yes, we only have two no's. But the other day, we got responses for a party of 9 (2 were invited, but they decided to bring their 6 children PLUS one of the daughter's boyfriend); a party of 3 (aunt HAD to bring her two step-sisters that I don't know); a party of 2 (I invited two of my close friends who are engaged, she couldn't go so they decided to swap her seat for another friend that I decided not to invite because we're not close. They decided since I would've counted them as two it didn't matter who the second person was), etc.
I've been SO stressed about the money and my FH got annoyed at me yesterday saying it wasn't all about money.
But we don't have it and we don't know/want those people there, so I feel like I'm wasting money for no reason!! Am I being cheap/bridezillaish? I mean most of them ARE family....
7 extra people from one family is ridiculous. It's not always about money --- you don't even know these people. I hate to encourage lying but you might have to tell them that you are at capacity and your room will not fit another soul.
fujamaga
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
7 extra people from one family is ridiculous. It's not always about money --- you don't even know these people. I hate to encourage lying but you might have to tell them that you are at capacity and your room will not fit another soul.
Haha unfortunately lying doesn't seem like a bad option to me but FH told his mom we were fine with both money and space.
KimberlyScott
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
Posted by cbcf
i think it is all just uncalled for ....i would be calling everyone of those guests invited and tell them they CANNOT bring their 6 kids and the kids boyfriends W T F and the aunt doesn't need her 2 step sisters...they aren't even family for god sakes and the friend who invited another friend to take the place of your friend...W T F!!!!
Seriously you need to get on them for this crap. I know I would NOT be taking that crap from any of my guests. When did guests start deciding who comes and who doesn't to a wedding!!??
Sorry you are going through this...but I say you have to say something to these people!!![/QUOTE
I agree with CBCF. Are you having kids at your wedding anyway?]
fujamaga
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
Posted by KimberlyScott
I agree with CBCF. Are you having kids at your wedding anyway?]
Yes, FH felt it was the 'right' thing to do.
yswedding
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
Posted by Kimbalina
The party of 9 is HIGHLY unreasonable of THEM!!!! that is discusting to do! Who does that!
Can you come to my moms and dad's house and explain to them that its unreasonable.
I think family members are going to do this to me too. If my friends did it, I'd uninvite them, seriously.
GinaZ
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
I think you need to call the family of 9 and explain to them that although you would love for the whole family to be there, you unfortunitly can't because of the number of people allowed in the room.
You need to do the same thing with the aunt and step sisters.
i know it is hard, but really these people have no right bringing all these extra guests. If you are nice about it and act as though you wish you could allow them but regretfully cannot, Im sure they will understand- hopefully. Maybe if you act embarressed and/or upset about it they will feel bad and leave it alone.
As for the for the party of two, while it was sort of rude of them to do that, that one you can just leave alone. technically if you invite someone with a guest, they can bring whoever they want unless you specified a name- in which case it s up to you. But its only one person and with having to deal with the above, it might be better to leave this one alone...
Goodluck! And please stand your ground!!!
fujamaga
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
Posted by yswedding
Posted by Kimbalina
The party of 9 is HIGHLY unreasonable of THEM!!!! that is discusting to do! Who does that!
Can you come to my moms and dad's house and explain to them that its unreasonable.
I think family members are going to do this to me too. If my friends did it, I'd uninvite them, seriously.
Haha I'll do it. Unless they're paying for the wedding, my belief is that they get no say!! Unfortunately that isn't the way its working out for me. ARGH!
fujamaga
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
Posted by GinaZ
I think you need to call the family of 9 and explain to them that although you would love for the whole family to be there, you unfortunitly can't because of the number of people allowed in the room.
You need to do the same thing with the aunt and step sisters.
i know it is hard, but really these people have no right bringing all these extra guests. If you are nice about it and act as though you wish you could allow them but regretfully cannot, Im sure they will understand- hopefully. Maybe if you act embarressed and/or upset about it they will feel bad and leave it alone.
As for the for the party of two, while it was sort of rude of them to do that, that one you can just leave alone. technically if you invite someone with a guest, they can bring whoever they want unless you specified a name- in which case it s up to you. But its only one person and with having to deal with the above, it might be better to leave this one alone...
Goodluck! And please stand your ground!!!
I did specify names for the party of two. It was an engaged couple so I wrote: Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe. It wasn't Ms. Jane Doe and Guest, which is why I felt a little suprised they 'swaped' a person. I know I'm awful, but I hope karma comes around and bites them in the butt when they have their wedding.
Kerin2804
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
9 people... I would pick up the phone or have your mom if it is her relative regardless of wether or not she wants to or not - otherwise tell mom she can pay for the extra 7 guests. Did you invite children at all - call and tell the people it is an adult reception.
fujamaga
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
Posted by Kerin2804
9 people... I would pick up the phone or have your mom if it is her relative regardless of wether or not she wants to or not - otherwise tell mom she can pay for the extra 7 guests. Did you invite children at all - call and tell the people it is an adult reception.
I wish it was that simple, its not on my side of the family and children are unfortunately invited.
MrsHtobe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
I don't care if you're having kids or not. 9 is ridiculous when you invited 2.
And not for nothing - even if I ALLOWED the kids to come . . .there is no way that one of the girls needs to bring her frigging boyfriend. I would explain that I only invited guests over 21 with a date, and let that be it.
Like - that went from being 2 people to an entire table.
Butterfly123
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
You are so NOT being a bridezilla. That party of 9 is ridiculous AND theyre inviting the boyfriend of one of the kids?? What the hell is that?? Your FH needs to swallow his pride and let you call these people up. Its not right.
MrsSpurch2B
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
The party of 9 is totally ridiculous. I would be so mad. I know you said that FH's family wont let you call, but the thing is since you and FH are paying for everything you don't have to listen to them. Do you think they have any idea how much those extra people will cost???
fujamaga
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
Posted by MrsSpurch2B
The party of 9 is totally ridiculous. I would be so mad. I know you said that FH's family wont let you call, but the thing is since you and FH are paying for everything you don't have to listen to them. Do you think they have any idea how much those extra people will cost???
I don't think they do... FH is the first one to get married on his side and the first one to have an 'American' wedding...
Asian weddings are different, you pay by the table and its certainly not as expensive. But I feel like they should have some type of clue!
fujamaga
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
Posted by MrsHtobe
I don't care if you're having kids or not. 9 is ridiculous when you invited 2.
And not for nothing - even if I ALLOWED the kids to come . . .there is no way that one of the girls needs to bring her frigging boyfriend. I would explain that I only invited guests over 21 with a date, and let that be it.
Like - that went from being 2 people to an entire table.
I think the boyfriend is what really drove me nuts. I can understand they want to bring their kids, but you're at 8 already and you decide to add a BOYFRIEND?! Who she won't be with in 6 months!
GinaZ
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
Posted by fujamaga
Posted by GinaZ
I think you need to call the family of 9 and explain to them that although you would love for the whole family to be there, you unfortunitly can't because of the number of people allowed in the room.
You need to do the same thing with the aunt and step sisters.
i know it is hard, but really these people have no right bringing all these extra guests. If you are nice about it and act as though you wish you could allow them but regretfully cannot, Im sure they will understand- hopefully. Maybe if you act embarressed and/or upset about it they will feel bad and leave it alone.
As for the for the party of two, while it was sort of rude of them to do that, that one you can just leave alone. technically if you invite someone with a guest, they can bring whoever they want unless you specified a name- in which case it s up to you. But its only one person and with having to deal with the above, it might be better to leave this one alone...
Goodluck! And please stand your ground!!!
I did specify names for the party of two. It was an engaged couple so I wrote: Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe. It wasn't Ms. Jane Doe and Guest, which is why I felt a little suprised they 'swaped' a person. I know I'm awful, but I hope karma comes around and bites them in the butt when they have their wedding.
its true a lot of people just dont get it till they ahve their own wedding.
Newsysuzy12
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
9.....heavens to Betsy, that is wack! I am a wuss about telling people no, but that is crazy! Just say no!
bluegreen08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
Posted by GinaZ
I think you need to call the family of 9 and explain to them that although you would love for the whole family to be there, you unfortunitly can't because of the number of people allowed in the room.
You need to do the same thing with the aunt and step sisters.
i know it is hard, but really these people have no right bringing all these extra guests. If you are nice about it and act as though you wish you could allow them but regretfully cannot, Im sure they will understand- hopefully. Maybe if you act embarressed and/or upset about it they will feel bad and leave it alone.
As for the for the party of two, while it was sort of rude of them to do that, that one you can just leave alone. technically if you invite someone with a guest, they can bring whoever they want unless you specified a name- in which case it s up to you. But its only one person and with having to deal with the above, it might be better to leave this one alone...
Goodluck! And please stand your ground!!!
what she said
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
WOW that is so rude, i cant believe people would do that. I can't even imagine receiving an invitation and putting plus 6 on it, that is just crazy.
People are so selfish and just care about their family and friends being there...its about you and you wanting your family and friends there not everybody that your guests know. DOn't ppl figure you have to pay for these ppl and that you might not have room for so many guests.
I would say to call and say that sorry only mr and mrs x were invited...but seems like your fh and family don't see a problem with it so it will be hard to do this. Well tell them that since money is no object to them then they can pay for all these extra guests
lyss0908
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being unreasonable/bridezillaish?
Posted by fujamaga
Posted by Kimbalina
The party of 9 is HIGHLY unreasonable of THEM!!!! that is discusting to do! Who does that!
That's what I said, but FH said they were 'family' because his mom was close friends with them.
I say too damn bad! If you don't have it, you don't have it. There is no reason they need to bring their children especially since the envelope was not addressed to them!!! And no you are not being unreasonable or bridezillaish!!!!
